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Author Topic: Insensitive and Ill-informed Remarks  (Read 3191 times)

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Offline dkjokisch

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Insensitive and Ill-informed Remarks
« on: November 29, 2005, 15:29:52 pm »
Just to warn you, this is a bit of a vent.  MIL is not a big fan of bfing, but her most recent comments take the cake.  If you believe her...

Apparently I have given dd a gastrointestinal bug through my breastmilk.

And there's really no point in bfing after 6mos, as they are no longer getting any antibodies.

How can an educated woman be so ill-informed?  Can anyone recommend a good informational website so I can print some material for her?
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Deborah
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Offline Lara's Mum

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« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2005, 15:58:43 pm »
hey there deborah.....try http://www.thebirthden.com, and check out the part with Dr. Newman. also try the articles section in the site, it shows the importance of BFing.its posted by the WHO and ur MIL will probably blush. Or better yet, give her the BW and turn to the section about Breast vs. Formula. Good Luck.
I know MILs can sometimes be hard, mine is an angel but once she's got something in mind, its pretty hard to tell her otherwise even if u r right. :shock:
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Offline zelkad

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« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2005, 19:34:12 pm »
Hi Deborah...just wanted to let you know that my MIL is the same.....lately she has been biting her tongue though!  I know she thinks I'm insane for still nursing my son (he's 9 months)   Just thought I'd let you know you're not alone!
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Offline GraceKellysmom

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« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2005, 20:18:00 pm »
http://www.kellymom.com is another informative site.

If you really want to get her going, you could search the internet for "dangers of formula" and what you find may keep her quiet.  :wink:

Good for you for sticking to nursing despite adversity! And FYI, which you probably already know, but any "bug" either one of you get, she is going to be so much better off nursing through. #1 The antibodies will get her better faster. #2 The breastmilk is easier on her tummy than formula #3 She needs those extra cuddles and love that mommy gives!

My MIL finally gave up insisting that she feed my kids bottles, it's only taken 2.5 yrs!  :wink:
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Offline GG

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« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2005, 20:27:33 pm »
Deborah, I know how you feel!  My mother has been trying to get me to wean my 9mo now for almost 2 months, ever since she found out I was pregnant.  She still thinks that my bm isn't good enough now.  Today she told me, "You really should start weaning because your bm is probably getting more 'watery'."  :shock:   This is the same lady that continuously tries to get me to give ds water or chamomile.  *grrr*

Let your MIL say what she wants (though I know it's very hard to ignore someone so close).   Don't give in!  If you do end up getting her to admit she's wrong, please let us know!  I love hearing those stories as well.   :wink:
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Offline dkjokisch

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« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2005, 00:45:18 am »
Ok, so I may not need to print anything out after all.  MIL sat down to check her email, and I can't remember if this window was open or not.  I know I left some programs running, but she closed everything.
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Deborah
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Offline Duckie

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« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2005, 01:07:56 am »
I've got one!!!

MIL said she never tried BF-ing her kids because the thought of them drinking from her made her feel like she was "some kind of an animal"

Ummm, we don't have breasts to make our shirts look pretty.
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Offline GG

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« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2005, 04:27:06 am »
Quote from: Duckie
Ummm, we don't have breasts to make our shirts look pretty.

*ahhahahahaha*  How funny!!   :D  :D

No, I bet they are there for men's enjoyment.  :?
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annamum

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« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2005, 04:29:24 am »
I like the thought " Why should I give my child a cow's milk if I have a human milk for her?".
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Offline GG

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« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2005, 15:53:11 pm »
Monika's comment - which I completely agree with, btw - made me think... technically we are animals, aren't we?  We're just very highly evolved, with the ability to think abstract thought, know the concept of right from wrong, etc.   (Unfortunately, some people still act like the unevolved animals that they came from millions of years ago, but that's a whole other discussion.)

If anyone ever made that comment to me I might just say something smart-alecky, like, "Well, what are you?  A car?"  (is that too much?)
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Offline deb

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« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2005, 16:01:07 pm »
Quote from: GG
If anyone ever made that comment to me I might just say something smart-alecky, like, "Well, what are you?  A car?"  (is that too much?)

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol: LMAO :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
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Offline Katet

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« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2005, 05:59:38 am »
Do you know I actually think a lot of people make those sort of comments about bfing as they feel guilty that they didn't & by putting someone down about their feeding it makes them feel less guilty. We women carry a lot of guilt & being catty or B!itchy is very often the way we try to lessen our guilt... just a thought, so maybe next time just feel sorry that they didn't have the joy we bf mothers do :)
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Offline zelkad

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« Reply #12 on: December 01, 2005, 14:50:16 pm »
oooh.. I like that perspective!
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Offline Kayna

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« Reply #13 on: December 01, 2005, 15:27:21 pm »
Quote from: Katet
Do you know I actually think a lot of people make those sort of comments about bfing as they feel guilty that they didn't & by putting someone down about their feeding it makes them feel less guilty. We women carry a lot of guilt & being catty or B!itchy is very often the way we try to lessen our guilt... just a thought, so maybe next time just feel sorry that they didn't have the joy we bf mothers do :)

I totally agree with this.

My MIL keeps asking "How LONG do you plan on nursing?" (dd is 5 months old)

Also, since dd is MSPI I'm constantly battling people who assume I'm harming her by bf instead of helping. :x Uninformed people annoy me!! :roll:
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Offline rebecaq

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« Reply #14 on: December 01, 2005, 16:35:39 pm »
I don't understand how some people can look down on bf.  They don't tell the cow to cover up with the calf is feeding!!  :roll:

About a month ago I was at the mall and my ds got hungry, so I sat at a bench out of the mainstream of people, and opened my VERY discreet bf top and put a blanket from my shoulder down to cover him up.  And believe it or not this lady came up to me and asked how could I be so SEXUAL with my son!!! That it was because of mommies like me that men were obssessed with womens breast!!!  Mind you I have a quick wit and an even quicker tongue and I was left speechless!! ( Dh got a good laugh at my shocked face ) :shock:

I got so angry that I finished feeding him and went straight home, a nice outing with my new little family RUINED by this ***** lady!     :!:  :evil:  :!:
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