hi & welcome!
yes, it does get better. just takes time & effort. and since your lo is so young hopefully it won't take too long.
re picking her up... yes, if she isn't getting any better with you trying to soothe her in the crib. and then hold her till she is completely calm.
you are also correct - there is a difference between real upset & fuss upset. if it's just a fuss, go ahead & leave her; she may be letting off steam before drifting off. if it escalates, go back in to her.
at night, you do want to keep things as low-key as possible, but you are hoping to put her back in bed drowsy, but not totally zonked. reason being, she does need to eat now, but later on she may start to associate bf with going back to sleep. hopefully at night she will be so drowsy that you don't need to pat/shh
btw, rocking can escalate to a prop as well. just my 2 cents. :wink:
the key is to stay persistant. she will protest - she doesn't understand why you're doing things differently now. but if you stay consistent, she will learn.
HTH