He's not doing what the book says!!!

[M&M's Ima]

Hi guys, I'm venting on you!

I've been trying to get on EASY for about a week now. I'm still using nursing as a calming down method if needed before sleep, but I see that kind of like the pacifier he refuses to take. He is good and quick at E, and happy to wait his three hours, I've noticed A is pretty short - like an hour or an hour and a quarter, in the morning or after a really good nap. With S, things get a little out of control. Shh-pat was starting to take about ten minutes total - I'd do a short wind down and put him in the crib, before stage 2 even, he'd cry a little, then give that stare, and go to sleep, sometimes sucking his fingers. We had a bit of a regression yesterday when this went back to taking about twenty minutes. He's often taking short naps, and if I can (big brother's not home) I try to lengthen them. Sometimes we get a long nap and then there is a Y in EASY too.
DH will help with the kids whenever I ask, but he isn't a baby whisperer, so I'm in this on my own and it takes more strength than I have. so i'm inconsistent.
I finally borrowed the book again - i was going on memory and this website (in Israel I can't just buy it or get it out of the library, esp if I wanted it in English) - and i see Tracy says to put him down in Stage 2 - drowsy. The problem is, I can't get him drowsy, unless he's way past his nap time. I can't calm him down on me without nursing or walking around forever. and when i take him into a dark room, he fusses so much more! Tracy says that's the only thing that's supposed to calm him down!
For some reason, it makes me really frustrated that he's not acting like it says he should. Can anyone explain to me why he doesn't like the non-stimulation of the bedroom, and how to get him to calm down with our nap time routine? AND WHY HE KEEPS WAKING UP after a few minutes?

Sorry, everyone.

[Deb_in_oz]

OK Rafaella,

I've noticed A is pretty short - like an hour or an hour and a quarter, in the morning or after a really good nap

i want to reassure you that your lo is doing fine.   his A time is actually not too short for a 2 month old - actually really a lot longer than many babies his age so if he is happy with that don't think "oh he is not doing 1hr 30 yet..."  olivia could only do 45 min - 1 hr at that age due to her spirited temperment - this is where EASY gets adapted to your child - you do the things in the right order but the times evolve with your child as they grow and their needs change and their A time increases...

With S, things get a little out of control. Shh-pat was starting to take about ten minutes total - I'd do a short wind down and put him in the crib, before stage 2 even, he'd cry a little, then give that stare, and go to sleep, sometimes sucking his fingers. We had a bit of a regression yesterday when this went back to taking about twenty minutes

10 minutes is fantastic - and even 20 min is not abnormal...just remember to not overanalyze day to day - don't focus on the fact that yesterday took 20 min - he is goingto have wide variations over time - sometimes he might have needed to get to bed a little earlier, got overstimulated, as he reaches milestones like rolling, crawling, etc he might "regress".  Olivia regresses at each milestone and i revert to shh/pat to help her sleep (did this at rolling, crawling and currently for pullng up - just had to go in and shh her to sleep for 5-10 min before i came to answer your post  ) and within 2 weeks each time she has gone back to indepently putting herself to sleep (and this time she only needs it for some sleeps) you can't expect every day to be identical so don't put that pressure on yourself

i see Tracy says to put him down in Stage 2 - drowsy. The problem is, I can't get him drowsy, unless he's way past his nap time. I can't calm him down on me without nursing or walking around forever. and when i take him into a dark room, he fusses so much more! Tracy says that's the only thing that's supposed to calm him down!
For some reason, it makes me really frustrated that he's not acting like it says he should

OK the biggie!  don't worry about the "drowsy" state.  I think the distinction for stating about putting them down at DROWSY was to make it clear to get them to bed before they are asleep!  if your lo is ok with being put into the bed straight after a quick windown and then either putting himself to sleep or you doing shh/pat then that is all you need to do.  you are otherwise creating more work for yourself trying to "get him" to the drowsy state.  Neither of my girls ever got "drowsy" with us. alex yawned once (textbook) and we knew to get her ready and we swaddled and put her in bed and said night,night and left her to it! olivia does not yawn/limited tired signs, but we watch the clock and at her "nap times" we just took her to her room and changed nappy, swaddled, topped up with food (sometimes), and sang rocka bye baby, in the cot and left.  if she struggles to go down THEN we go in and use shh/pat but we always gave both girls a chance to do it themselves  from AWAKE to ASLEEP - i never had the experience of sitting in the rocking chair leading to getting droopy eyes etc NOT ONCE. not in their nature to enjoy that quiet time to get sleepy, they just want to be left to get sleepy in their bed.  HTH

[M&M's Ima]

Thanks for helping me get this in perspective!

[thitz]

My dd never liked to sit in a chair with me for a winddown.  She'd just start screaming, cause she knew what was coming.  We did our winddown on the changetable with me changing diaper, brushing hair, making funny noises etc. Then I'd pick her up lay her in the crib to swaddle and start sh/pt.