How are you getting on - 45 minuters?

[1sttime]

Hi al, we have just started the 45 min napping. My lo is 8 weeks old today. Sometimes if I just leave him he'll go back to sleep or just lay in there happy as can be. I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do or not. He's having only 30min-45min of waketime, so I'm not sure if I should try harder to extend that. What does your routine look like if you're letting them do 45 min. naps? Sometimes I get him up and he's happy for about 30min and cries and cries until his next feed. I have one book that says 45 min. naps are a sign of hunger and to go ahead and feed them early. I'm so confused!! Sometimes he does seem hungry, but most of the time he just seems grumpy. I could use some advice- I don't really get the wake to sleep thing either.

[TnTsmama]

Well, thought I'd jump in on this as well.  Sounds like most of you are all doing so well working with your LOs.  I, on the other hand have temporarily given up on trying to extend naps.  My LO takes his 45 minute nap in the morning and wakes up happy as a clam.  As for the rest of the day, I just try to go with it and get him as much sleep as I can (in those 45 minute jaunts).  Lately I have been using the dreaded swing, because he will sleep in that for 2-3 hours in the midday.  I just can't spend hours trying to keep him asleep, when I have a toddler in the house to look after too.  I'm just going to go with it for now, and hope for the best.  Good luck to all of you.  You all seem to have more staying power than I do.  We'll see how long I last doing this...

[Matka]

Jenean,

I have to tell you I use the swing too for ds 3:00 nap.  He'll sleep until I wake him up!  I have to agree with you getting one long nap in is better than keeping him (and yourself) miserable with extensions.  Don't feel bad, not a day has gone by that I haven't thanked God for our swing!

[KellyC]

Hi Guys

We've had mixed successes this week.  Zander is now going to sleep independently at night (and staying asleep!) and has once gone down for his nap in exactly the same way.  I was very impressed, particularly as for that nap I went in and turned him on his back at 35 minutes so he stirred and he stayed asleep for a full 2 hours, yay!  I've tried it again since but don't think I disturbed him enough as he still woke after 45 mins. This morning something woke him before I had to chance to try and extend his nap but I got him up after 45 mins as he seemed happy - this didn't last and I was having to use PU/PD / Pat/Shush to get him back to sleep about 20 minutes later!  It's 11am and I'm not even dressed yet (so why, you may ask, am I on here!!).

Good luck for the next few days, we shall remain calm at all times!!

Kelly x

[bneydgrl]

Frequent lurker sometimes poster here

Hi I'm rebecca and I'm the mother of a 45 min napper...Hi Rebecca (a la 12 step program)

Well that's how I felt at least when we started out with this nap stuff just a while over three months agao (ella was born 8.26).   I initially made the mistake of reading Babywise and was so frustrated with myself and her because I didn't understand why we couldn't DO IT BY THE BOOK!!! Think you have a textbook mom here?

Well I discovered Tracy Hogg's books and that only reinforced the..WHY CAN"T WE DO IT BY THE BOOK as far as naps.  And for a little over a week I drove myself crazy trying to extend naps,wake to sleep....sleeping on tummy, pat shush..all of it.   And then I realized..hey...I need to just listen to Ella.   

One book I really do like regarding sleep is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child.  Basically because it made me feel like we (ella and me) weren't doing anything wrong.  And I realized her sleep patterns will emerge when she's biologically ready to.  Sort of like they'll walk when they are ready, talk when they're ready...it will just happen when they're ready.  I learned to read her sleepy cues and not keep her awake for more than two hours.  I felt a lot better just rolling with it and not stressing so much.

Now we have a rough routine that she sleeps pretty much from 7-7.  She takes her first nap at 9 and then if all of her naps are 45 min - 1  hr she naps again at 11, 1, 3 and five.   She is starting to put together a longer afternoon nap....and yes she is in a better mood when she does this vs. a 45 min one...and I'm sure the morning one will come along in it's own time too.   Some days I feel a bit limited because I want her to be able to nap in her crib and not 'on the run' but in the end she gets the sleep she is 'supposed to get' during the day, is well rested for the night and is a happy baby...which equals a happy mom.

I do like BW for teaching me to listen to her and for some of the ideas of feeding schedules and soothing routines.   We now have our nap routine down to ten minutes -- a diaper change, quick lullaby, pat shush while rocking for five minutes and then she's down with minimal if any crying.

ALLLL that being said...it is nice to know that there are other moms who are 'struggling' with the 45 min naps.  And it's nice to read that many of you like myself have just surrendered to the 'terrible' 45 min nap and are keeping the faith that our bebes will get that morning and afternoon nap down thing...eventually!

[FreddieEden]

Rebecca - your post really made me laugh.  I always get terribly disappointed that Daniel doesn't have the same timetable for his day as me in mind.  Everything I have done previously in life involved getting neat solutions from books and being a mum just isn't that easy!  I've got the Healthy Sleep Habits book too (I have all the books) and thought it was pretty good.  I'm not sure what Babywise is but I have seen it criticised on lots of pro breastfeeding and attachment parenting type sites so I assume it must be the US equivalent of Gina Ford.  The good news is that Daniel has settled himself back to sleep and taken a nap of 2 hours plus at lunchtime for 2 days running now.  I've seen enough posts from other people not to expect that this is the end of the 45 minute nap.  I expect there will be regression and he will scream his head off in the afternoons again (probably in the next two days when we have visitors!) but this is a good start.

Freddie

[PeepersMom]

Hi - I too have a short napper. 

Sometimes just 20 minutes.  Brings me to tears.  I have been trying extending naps with pat/shush for 4 weeks and have only had success with it taking less and less time to extend with most naps, and the others just simply won't extend at all.  I am now down to taking 10-20 min to extend a nap. (vs 45-60min!) and pretty much if he doesn't show signs by then he won't nap longer.  He has started pitching a Royal fit after 20 min if he isn't willing to sleep longer.  That is new, too.  He used to just fuss.  But at least I know his limits now.

I feel the biggest reason for our problems is our prop the pacifier.  DH and I have set a date to take it away and frankly I think our night times will come together as well.  A week from tomorrow is the day.

I am still exhausted but it is much easier on my back to give up after 20 min.

I am very disappointed, though.

Freddie - the babywise books are very much scheduled - more than babywhisperer.  And if the baby doesn't want to eat when you tell them it is time, well then they missed a meal.  And if they are hungry early, they have to wait.  This is even with tiny newborns.  No demand feedings aloud even during a growth spurt.  It is criticized for causing many cases of  failure to thrive in otherwise healthy babies and homes.  I have seen it happen with a friend of mine who had a 9 pound 3 month old who was as far as I was concerned lethargic (she was full term and 6lbs 7 oz at birth).  She used babywise and was happy to say her baby slept through the night by 6 weeks.  Well, clearly that baby shouldn't have been!  She needed to eat.  And many breastfeeding moms note that their milk supplies diminish on this routine.

If you do a google search on it you will see all the research studies on why it is a bad idea.  Over scheduling a baby can be very bad.  And not listening to your baby is worse.  I know that critique was harsh, but like I said, my friends baby - well I was shocked.