Am I doing this right? Nap Extensions/sleeping

[Luke-n-Me]

My DD is 13 weeks old and we have done EASY from day 1.  She still doesn't go down on her own easily, though she will go down eventually, now that we're past the pat/shh stage and it does nothing for her, we do PU/PD and after less than 5 minutes, she normally goes down.  As for naps, she nearly always wakes at 45 minutes and today I've done PU/PD for both and they've worked, but she has woken up screaming from naps today and when I put her down for naps she has been screaming more than ever.  After 13 weeks of being very consistent, I'm getting a little discouraged.  I partly think it has something to do with the fact that she won't take a paci and that she can't suck her thumb yet.  She sucks her thumb at night and I leave one arm out of her swaddle for that, but if I leave an arm out during the day, it's just a nightmare and she never sucks her thumb, just ends up flailing her arms.  I guess, all-in-all things aren't that bad, but just after 13 weeks I wish she could be put down in her crib without needing PU/PD......she does it for night sleep, but not yet for day sleep.  I guess the reason it really bothers me too is that she is now at a sitters on Tues/Thurs, so on those days anything goes....I can't expect the sitter to spend the amount of time sleep training that I do.  I just thought that if I was really persistent in doing this sleep training for 12 solid weeks, one part would be easier by now.  Guess I just need some reassurance.

[KellyC]

Hi

My DS Zander is also 13 weeks old and it sounds as though we're in exactly the same situation as you.  Night sleeps are good and he goes down with no/minimal fuss and sleeps through but daytimes are a bit of a nightmare.  For the odd nap he'll go down really easily but usually it's a struggle and he always wakes after 45 minutes often screaming his head off and I'm really finding it difficult and emotionally draining.  Zander no longer has his dummy and although he sucks his hands when he's awake we still have to swaddle him day or night as his arms wake him up.  I haven't tried PU/PD and am still using Pat/Shush - how have you adapted PU/PD for a LO of 13 weeks?

Kelly x

[Luke-n-Me]

I honestly can't say that I adapted pu/pd for dd, it's just pat/shhh doesn't work anymore, so last week, when she fussed, I'd pick her up until completely calm, then put her back down and it took maybe 1 time, now I've been trying to put her down before completely calm, I feel like this is somewhat becoming CIO (though I never leave her).  She's such a good baby I hate for her to scream, but after investing 13 weeks, there's no turning back (and after having already done this with ds and knowing what a great sleeper he is).  I just need reassured that this is going to get better.  I've resisted posting any questions almost this whole 13 weeks, but I'm getting a bit discouraged.  I know in my heart it will get better, but right now I'm not seeing the light!!!

[Meg's Mom]

I hope i can offer some encouragement - it will get better.  She will get to the stage where you can just plop her in the crib w/ a kiss and off she will go.

IME they goes in phases - for a couple months she will be like the above and wake up talking.  Then out of the blue she needs more of a wind down and assurance then wakes screaming.  I think they are just trying to sort it all out - the have soo much going in such a short period of time!

What does your nap wind down look like - it could be too stimulating. 

BTW - if you are staying w/ her, then it is not CIO!  You are there and helping her learn how to fall asleep.  Some babies just need to blow off more steam then others and this is their only way to communicate.

[Luke-n-Me]

Thanks Michelle.  Wind down is brief as after she is swaddled, she really doesn't want to do anything but be walked, if I try to cuddle in a rocking chair or even stand still, she just fusses.  I still try to get through one song in a rocking chair, but often I just wrap her and lay her down when I notice she's tired. 

She was at the sitters all day today and slept maybe an hour total.  She just screams so hard when you put her down, and my sitter won't let her scream like that and do pu/pd, she just holds her instead.  I always freak out about how she does at the sitters because I know her days are a mess there, but 2 days a week won't totally kill everything I"m doing will it?  We often get a little off track on Sunday when we go to church too, but we are always home for the afternoon nap. 

Oh, I just can't wait for the day when this gets better!  It totally stresses me out.  I know I'm not letting her CIO, but it just breaks my heart that when I'm doing pu/pd, as soon as I pick her up she stops screaming-I feel like she's telling me she needs me, but in the end, I know that if I stick with this it's worth it.  I just need a little pep talk from time to time.  Thanks!!!