6 Month old WHINES,cries, screams all day (xcept when sleep)

[Nic and Jackson]

PLEEEASSE can anyone offer any solutions, i am slowly going mad and Jackson is going to be an only child at this rate!!

My darling boy whines, cries, screams (in that order unless i placate him first) from the moment he gets up to the moment he goes down.  He even manages to whinge when eating.

A GOOD day looks like this:

6.00 wake                   6.30milk            7.00 solids    8.00 sleep
(whines the whole way through except for maybe the first 20 mins)
9.30 wake                 10.30 milk          11.00 solids   11.30 sleep
1.30 wake                  2.30 milk                               3.30 sleep
(this sleep he won't go down willingly, i have to rock him to sleep, most others he manages ok with just a dummy which i pull out 5 mins later)
4.30 wake                  4.30 - 5.00 solids   
                                 6/6.30 milk and then bed or else up to 7 then bed.

Also lately i have had to start giving him a 10.00pm feed again.  I tried just water but he kept on waking up periodically through the night.  Giving him the 10.00 feed seems to settle him down for the entire night.

He doesn't fancy milk much and takes a good ten minutes to down maybe 140mls.  Usually has about 160-180ml, can't get him to take anymore.

i don't know what to do or who else to turn to.  my husband offers no solutions aprart from telling me not to feed him at 10pm!!  My 'Y' time is spent either trying to catch up on sleep or preparing meals etc for Jackson and hubby.  I just want a BIT of a life.  I can't even go make myself a cup of tea without his whining.  Even taking 45seconds to heat his bottle up in the microwave can't be achieved without him starting.

I have thought about just feeding him, putting him down with his toys and just full on letting him scream for the 2 hours while i go sit in another room.  it's very depressing haveing a child who is never happy.

sorry to go on so much about it - i am just so exhausted and so badly need an answer!!

Thanks for any help you can offer.

Nic

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

{{hugs}} - things do sound pretty stressful.

Has he always been this way or is this a recent development?

He could be uncomfortable from teething perhaps if it's a new thing, have you tried something for that?

Is he content if you're holding him?

How does he go down to sleep?  How have you dealt with him at these times in the past and currently? 

Sorry for all the questions, but your post is quite concerning and I'd like to help with some suggestions.

 

[Nic and Jackson]

Thanks for your response.

He's pretty much been like this since about 3 months of age.  I thought it was teething then but i don't think they teeth for 3 months solid (do they??).

Anyway i try not to drug him up but panadol, nurofen doesn't make a difference when i have tried at really bad times because i've thought he MUST be in pain.

he goes down to sleep great for the 1st and 2nd nap.  Nighttime isn't too much of an issue either.  the 3rd nap he fights me and i have to rock him.
he uses a dummy every time i put him down to sleep but i sneak in and take it gently out of his mouth after 5-10 mins.  When i give him a
10.00 pm feed i can just put him into bed and leave the room and he will go to sleep.

i've never dealt with this any other way then by trying to make him happy.  i will put him in his swing, sit him up, lay him down, change rooms, change toys but nothing seems to work.  the only times he doesn't whinge is if i take him in the pool, take him in the bath, sit with him in the hammock, take him for a drive or go shopping and push him around in trolley or pram.  these all seem to distract him.  the only problem is i still can't get anything done for me.  (as i said he isn't a fan of being in his electric swing by himself)  It appears that he likes water and motion.

his dad is home now so he looks after him while i cook tea, do laundry etc.  my day doesn't finish until about 10.pm if i'm trying to keep on top of everything!

i always had these visions of him lying contentedly on his play mate, playing with his toys etc, while i stay with him doing the ironing or perhaps reading a magazine from time to time.  I understand of course that i need to interact with him but surely he should be able to keep himself amused after a feed for perhaps 20 - 30 minutes (if not more) at this age??

Maybe i am expecting too much?

Nic

[Katet]

My first ds was a bit like that from about 5 months old though... he still needs lots of stimulation & it sounds like your ds does too.

Did anything change at the point he started to be grumpy all the time... like going from breast feeding to formula, moving from bassinett to cot... sleep training?

We made the "mistake" of doing Controlled crying with him, which for us seemed to be one of the things that set it off...that & my dh being very sick. It was like he accepted us abandoning him at sleep time, but not day time.

What we found was he also needed more sleep & his awake times were considerably less than average... the more tired he got the more he needed company right with him. We found that by giving him the attention he did improve over time... once he was sitting up I used to take him every where I went & I would sit outside & read... he was happy there & if I was in the kitchen he was in the highchair with finger food. I found I just gave up on trying to achieve things & that made it easier

One thing I would suggest is getting a Dr to check him out as he sounds a lot more unhappy than my ds was & maybe there is a medical reason for it???

[ChasMom]

Hi Nic,
How old is your ds?  My little guy is incredibly demanding and high maintanence since day one and I always used to wonder why I had such a miserable baby.  I have found that as he's gotten older and is now able to crawl and get around more he seems to be a bit less frustrated and able to play independently more.  He's still way high maintanence and I find that he still gets incredibly frustrated if he can't figure out a toy and gets bored very easily. 
He's like an old man trapped in a baby's body.  He wants to do so much more than he's physically able to and he gets annoyed cause he can't. 
Just wondering if this is what your ds is going through and hopefully will grow out of as he's able to do more. 
I totally understand how physically and emotionally exhausting it can be.
I always joke that he makes me not want to have anymore!

[Nic and Jackson]

Hi Kate and Chas Mom
He's 6 months old and NOTHING changed.  Maybe Chas Mom is right about the getting frustrated part.  when he started to roll he used to not be able to get from his tummy back on to his back and that used to annoy him and he would start to scream.
i would then try to show him where to put his arms and how to roll over again.  Maybe then he got used to the idea that if he screamed i would come and help him.  But i have to help him if he is stuck don't I? 

Now of course he just screams all the time.  should i just ignore him if he appears to be doing it because he just wants my attention or is there some other way i should handle it.? Thanks for any advice i really appreciate it. 

Nic

[FrasersMum]

Hi Nic,

I see you are in Brisbane.  I'm in Brisbane too 

I can really relate to the difficulties you are experiencing.  I too have a high needs baby who is now near 8 and a half months old.  I remember everyone saying - it will get better after 6 weeks, it will get better after 3 months, it will get better after 6 months....  Well, we're here at 8.5 months and just recently things have been starting to get "better".  Just like Chas mum said, when my DS started to be a bit more mobile things got a bit better.

That said, he still does not like to play by himself and he is very vocal about being with us and/or held by us.  So we do.  Do you have a baby carrier or sling?  A lot of the time Fraser is happy as long as he is close with us (yes, even in this nasty heat!)

Please don't think that Jackson is crying just for attention, and please don't ignore him.  Babies of his age cry because they need something.  He is not trying to annoy you.  Try to remember that he is only little once, and try to enjoy all those extra cuddles you are getting because when he is bigger cuddles from his mum will likely be the last thing he wants 

I know it is hard and frustrating but things will get better.  Try to give yourself a break from him too - I used to often go to my mum's or my sister's and let them hold him and play with him for a bit - just so I could sit on the couch and not be touching anyone, or having anyone touching me. 

HTH
Good luck

[Katet]

I have to agree with Fraser'sMum, some babies are just higher need... that said at age 2 Aiden is pretty independent now & his "Grumpy" state is reasonably easy to manage with lots of preparation & knowing "how he works"... most people tell me he is a delightful boy & he is   except those times when he is a 2 yo & that is normal... hey we all have our moments
I have to agree you shouldn't ignore him, babies at this age don't have the cognitive ability to "be attention seeking" they cry whinge etc, because they have needs... some babies are more needy than others & I have to say if you look at family members you can probably see Jackson takes after someone :lol:  :lol:
The way to make sure they "grow past this stage" is to meet their needs, so the more effort you put in now the stronger his trust will be that you can meet his needs & so he will be more secure & one day be much more independent... you can't spoil a baby & they can't manipulate you. Babies that seem to neve make demands are often those whose needs don't often get met & gradually start to learn to shut off.... there is a number of studies out there that show babies left in orphanages after war do not adjust as well or grow up as stable as those cared for by uneducated villages etc & infact those in poverty with love actually end up healthier than those that get their food & "health needs" met, but no love. That is an extreme... but I do know I have found since I stopped listening to people saying leave him to cry... He has developed into a happier child.