14 month old power struggle with food

[aperret]

Help!!!! My 14 month old has found the power to control what he wants.  He will not eat any chunky food except mac and cheese, Gerber dried fruit, cheerios, or any kind of crackers.  He will now only eat Stage 2 meat or veggies if I cover it with fruit.  He usually will cry until I give him some baby yougert.  I have tried grilled cheese, cut up bananas, meatballs... he just refuses to eat them.  I have gotten to the point I feel like I need to not give in to him.  I don't want to starve him, but he always gets a big grin on his face when I finally cave in to him.  I know this is not a developement/texture problem because he will eat grahm crackers.  Does anyone have a suggestion?  Should I just give him what he wants and hope he will grow out of it?  All of the kids in his day care class eat a "real lunch" and he refuses.  :?

[Poppy & Lily]

hi,

I remember my dd went through a picky and choosy stage around this mth.  It's completly normal for them to become food 'independant' at this age, it is a phase and it will pass.  In then meantime just being persistent and consistent with him is the key.  Keep offering him differant types of food if he doesn't eat it no big deal just try again later or the next day.

Just try lots of finger food and keep trying eventually he will get curious and want it.  Don't worry about him starving you would be surprised at the amount of food that toddlers actually need to eat.

HTH

[evanskimberley]

Yeah i agree, DD frequently goes on hunger strike so i really sympathise with you.

My HV said the same as poopy pop, that don't actually need that much so don't worry about starving them. She said to me that if she refused something she had had before and that you knew she should eat then don't offer her any thing else. if you are trying something new that you are unsure of, offer it at the beginning, if its refused then offer somehting else, try again at the end but don't force it.

there's a really fine line to find between you gaining control again and not forcing the issue so it becomes worse. Good luck!!!

[murensmom]

My daughter Muren is 16 months old and has decided not to eat anything at dinner.  She eats 6 ounces of milk from a bottle in the morning and another 7 ounces at night before bed.  Her dayhome provider says she eats fine there, but at home she just cries and signs for milk.  The last 3 nights she has refused to eat anything.  She's always been very picky and would often not eat at meals once in a while (that's why we cut back on the milk) but now she won't even put food in her mouth.  The last 2 nights I've tried the 'tough' method of letting her out of her booster seat and listening to her cry until after her bath when I give her the bottle.  I can't just feed her cheese and crackers every night!!  I'm at a total loss about what to do with my very "spirited" daughter.

[ElleB]

We have been through a few fussy stages with 15 mo DS and the best advice I got, was that the next meal is in a few hours not a few days so don't offer them anything else if they've refused somethign you know they like, and they'll eat more at the next snack/meal.  In saying that I wouldn't expect my son to go hungry if he had refused something I know he dislikes (like broccolli!), but if he sudden;y decides he doesn't want a plate of meat and veg that he would normally have I just take it away without a fuss and take him off his chair.  If he cries hungry later I reheat it and offer again and 9/10 times he eats it.

[abwalk]

We just talked about fussy eaters at my son's toddlers group.  The leader's suggestions were:

Parents decide what the menu is
When the meal is eaten
Where the meal is eaten

Kids decide what to eat of what is offered and
How much to eat of what is offered.

She said we should always have something on the table that we know the child will eat (don't make a meal full of things they don't like).   So if we offer them ham, cheese, and fruit for lunch and they just eat cheese, it's fine.    They will survive.  The next meal or snack, offer something that is different from cheese, like applesauce or crackers, etc.

She said to think of how kids are eating more long term - like over a week - and not worry about meal to meal intake.

Hope that helps!  I thought is was interesting and a much less stressful way to approach our meals.

[murensmom]

Hi all - I knew about the eating 'boundaries' from the Child of Mine book, but it is sooo difficult.  Tonight we gave Muren something she's eaten a half dozen times and all she kept saying was cheese.  I let her down from her chair, and she walked to the fridge asking for cheese.  It seems as though we are in a battle of wits at this point.  After about 10 minutes of tantrum and twice back in the chair, we finally gave her buttered bread!  But no cheese.  I wouldn't feel so bad about letting her go without food if it wasn't dinner because then she just ends up drinking more milk before bed, which I think she prefers anyway.  I guess we'll just keep at it.  Eventually she'll eat, just like eventually she walked (at 13 months!!).
cheers