Author Topic: Feeling low - looking for encouragement!  (Read 782 times)

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Offline milliesmaw

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Feeling low - looking for encouragement!
« on: December 08, 2005, 14:37:22 pm »
Aren't we all :)
Ok I really need a bit of perspective from you sleep gurus. From 0-3 months DS was an incredibly overtired spirited grumpy bub during the day. Getting him to sleep was a real struggle. But during the night he would sleep good 5 - 6 hour stretches.

When he was 11 weeks I inroduced a paci as he had a chest infection and we were staying at IL's and it all got too much! The paci sent him off to sleep great (of course!) and he didn't seem to wake for it in the night. We also used it for naps although he will only ever do 45 mins...

Now he is 4 months and the nights have gone pear shaped. He is actually v good natured now during the day so the tables have turned. Last night for example he woke at

9.15pm - I offered paci but he started crying so B/f him. After the b/f I still have to give him paci to get him off to sleep.
Woke again at 1.30am - b/f
Woke at 3am - i gave him paci - he chewed on it for 1/2 an hour. then I discover he's got a dirty nappy so change it. Then b/f as sleep is elusive. Still not sleeping at 4.30am. Must have fallen asleep.
Woke at 6am.

It is all so exhausting and I can't even remember when he wakes. it makes me feel so bad to be feeding him so much in the night especially when it's not as if it gets him back to sleep :oops:

I just feel that I'm adding to the problem.

I was wanting to ditch dummy weeks ago but we have had illness and DH has been away so I'm going to do it after Xmas so I can really work on it. Until then is there anything anyone can suggest that will help with the nights? My head is really pickled with it all and I feel upset most of the time as I feel that I have created all these problems.

Just looking for some words of support. :cry:
Jo

Mum to Millie
4th November 2003
and Benjamin
31 July 2005

Offline Katet

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Feeling low - looking for encouragement!
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2005, 02:58:40 am »
Jo, 4mo was a hard time for me with both boys, not quite sure why, but things got heaps better by 6months. I think getting rid of the paci will be a good step & I did around the 5mo mark with both boys & then stupidly re-introduced with Aiden. I found that with Aiden, being my "spirited red headed Firey Leo" that routine, routine & more routine in the day really helped the nights, still does. Also a good calm wind-down, I started reading stories to him at about 4mo & do that with Liam now & it seems to be working well.
I think you have to decide when you are going to feed & not as the calories will start transfering to the night & so "hunger will be real" so you will need to feed. I would use the paci, while you have it to get down to 1 maybe 2 feeds at night say around 10pm & 4am & then all other wakeups aren't feed times KWIM, then you kind of have something to work towards... it is really hard work (I'm sure it is the July 31 curse :cry:  we both have) but it does get better
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline milliesmaw

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Feeling low - looking for encouragement!
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2005, 10:09:28 am »
Kate - thanks so much for the reply. I value your feedback :)  Don't know why this is all getting to me so much! As in "real life" I'm not good with confrontation or saying no so the night feeds are a problem.

If the hunger is now learned for 10pm, 1am and 4am  :cry: and I try to get rid of 1am feeding wih paci what would YOU do :wink: if he rejected it and continued wailing? do i put him off for as long as i can. I know he's not hungry but he still takes a full feed and none of this seems to affect the daytime.

so in advance of tonight, so i have a plan,  just wondered how best to proceed if he doesn't fall for paci which i'm sure he won't as he loves boob every time.

i might try and get in there with the paci before he wakes up completely...?
Jo

Mum to Millie
4th November 2003
and Benjamin
31 July 2005

Offline Katet

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Feeling low - looking for encouragement!
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2005, 09:18:57 am »
Jo

Sorry I didn't get back to you the other day, I have so many posts on the go at the moment & not much time at the computer... lots happening here... mostly good stuff, but some not so, but it doesn't make keeping up with BW easy.

How is it going?

I would only try to get him back off by other means for say 5-10mins & then feed, but only let him suck while it is really strong, once it gets slower try to take him off & settle him... if he gets upset, offer a bit more.

If it wasn't working to drop the middle feed, maybe he does need it as you say he takes a full feed... does he take a bottle, if so have you tried offering water? Otherwise try to cut back on the amount he on the breast each feed, work out what an average length of feed is & cut back by 2 mins ( or about 20% of the time) each time

HTH

Kate
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05

Offline milliesmaw

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Feeling low - looking for encouragement!
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2005, 11:17:22 am »
Hi Kate - thanks again. Hope everything is ok with you - and that the not so good stuff happening is not getting to you too much. I appreciate your advice as I said, I respect your judgement!

The nights have really got worse (of course!) and it feels like he is a newborn although when he was a newborn his sleeping skills seemed to be better.

Last night : dummy falls out twice between 7.30pm and 9.30pm and needs to be repalced. He wakes at 9.30pm, 11pm, 2.30am, 4am, 6am and 8.30am :evil:

I feel like I am going out of my mind! Any semblance of routine that we had is falling apart.

I try to offer paci but he's having none of it. Last night DH tried to settle him at 9.30pm and offered a bottle of ebm but he didn't take it although I'm not sure how hard DH tried. He came storming out of the room in a foul mood almost blaming me for the fact that he hasn't had many bottles. Another harmonious night!

So I will do as you suggest. I t will be good to have something to work towards. Is that sort of No Cry Sleep solution tactics? It seems to me that he is looking for boob to settle each time now and in fact when he feeds and goes off to sleep he sleeps a longer stretch. With paci now we just get 45 minutes :shock:

All this feeding is now having an impact on the daytime.

He has a chesty cough which we have meds for. On paper it sounds like that is why he is waking so much but I don't think so. I think he is looking for something comforting to get him back to sleep.

Why is this so HARD :evil:

I enjoy b/feeding but I'm not an earth mother and am not into feeding round the clock.

I guess I need to go with it till after his cough and Xmas have passed and then ditch dummy and do PU/PD for some of the wakings?!

Apologies for the vent - it's been a long night  :cry:
Jo

Mum to Millie
4th November 2003
and Benjamin
31 July 2005

Offline Katet

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Feeling low - looking for encouragement!
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2005, 03:36:23 am »
Jo, I know where you are coming from with enjoying bf, but not being an "earth mother"
Ben is Aiden's twin, I'm sure about it... must be in the date.

I am going to ask a friend for some ideas as she is battling a simular problem & I am a bit rusty on what I did, when it got really tough... like 10 wakeups KWIM... I know it was a paci problem too for us... so I will get back to you when I have chatted with my friend.
dc1 July 03, dc2 May 05