Almost two... winding down to sleep?

[SandyGal]

Hi Ladies:

I'm at my wits end. I need ideas to help my dd wind down and stay that way for sleeping (both naps and night). She will be two in January. She has a new baby brother at home... almost three months now. I was trying to ride this out thinking that it is the change of having a new baby around, but it is not getting any better. We have not changed her bedtime routines... she gets stories, lights out, special blanket and lovey and off to bed (at night she has a bath to kick this off). She has always taken about 30 minutes to fall asleep from that point up until a month ago when it started taking upwards of an hour and then sometimes nearly two for her to actually fall asleep.

At night time... she is having a dirty diaper, so I think that is causing some issues as I almost always have to go in and change her diaper and then we are looking at starting all over with her winding down. She kicks the crib mattress and bangs the wall. I have tried ignoring it, but it drives me crazy. Going in to tell her to stop doesn't seem to be working either. She sleeps in the room adjacent to the baby and has woken him up which infuriates me  :evil:  :evil:

Naps are the same or worse, but more of the same. Is it even possible to get her to lay quietly and not get up and run around her crib, kick the wall or kick the crib? It almost seems like when I go in to tell her to stop, I just prolong her falling asleep. She isn't crying for me or anything like that, she is just being very loud and obnoxious.

It is making me so angry... does anyone have any ideas? Today, I took away her lovey  :cry: and told her that if she didn't stay laying down I would take her blanket as well... which I did. She did settle down and go to sleep after crying over the loss, but I'm not sure if it will help teach her to stay calm (she seems calm and very sleepy when I leave both at night and at nap).

Am I unreasonable to think that she should be able to understand the "rules" of bed time? I was wondering if she needed to make the transition to her big girl bed, but I am afraid that if she has more freedom she will be even worse to settle down... like she will just run around her room instead of running around her crib. We just bought a nightlite plush turtle that projects constellations on the ceiling to see if it will help her stay calm and drift off. If she really likes it, I could tell her it only stays on as long as she is calm and quiet. Also, I'm thinking I will play a game with her showing her how we go to sleep (laying quietly, etc) and see if I can get her to practice with me.

Sorry so long... does anyone have any ideas... I'm really going crazy about this. I think it is stressing me out enough that my breastmilk supply is starting to tank!

[Katet]

Sandy
Sounds like she is doing it for the attention, which she (understandably gets less of with a baby brother) & also as it riles you up, she gets a response.

I find I have to run Aiden around in the hour before bed/naps to burn off energy... we play chasings & it works well... I often have done it carrying Liam.

I think also taking things away is a bad move... I find the more frustrated & angry you get the calmer & more soothing you need to be in response. For Naps if Aiden fights it I will ask him if he wants it in my bed... novelty factor seems to work. He is in a Big bed & after the first few weeks we have not had a problem with him being there.

Life changes for them when you have 2 & I found I started taking my frustration out on "toddler difficulties" but when I sat back & thought about it... I realised I needed to be making more time to meet his needs & he is a happier & better boy. A few extra stories & "new" games made such a difference to this household

[tylersmommy]

Tyler usually makes a racket while he's falling asleep, it often sounds like there's a wrestling match in his crib! I let him have at it, but I don't have a sleeping baby to worry about. While I think it's normal from the perspective that lots of toddlers flop around while falling asleep, I agree with Kate in that it sounds like she knows it gets your attention. Could you move the crib away from the wall, maybe to the middle of the room so she can't bang on the wall? Also, you might think about some white noise for the baby's room to help muffle things a bit. My guess is that if you create an environment where you don't have to reward the behavior with attention, it'll die down. For the dirty diaper, Tyler pulls this one at naptime a lot. I refuse to start over with wind down. I go in, turn up the lights just enough so that I can see, lower the crib rail, slide a towel or something under his bum, and change his diaper right there in the crib. I don't say a word until I'm done, and then I just tell him night night and I leave.

Hang in there!

[SandyGal]

I agree that giving her the attention is not the way to go. It doesn't seem to help, but I also can't figure out a way to make it better since I have been ingnoring it and it isn't getting better. I suppose we could try running her around... I've always been worried that it just gets her wound up and makes it worse. Both  she and the baby both have white noise in their rooms.

Ugh. I feel like this will never get any  better. :cry: