is this cruel?

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

We are having such a hard putting my ds to bed at night. He puts himself to sleep for naps fine, but bed time he has a hard time. I think it is because he is overtired. I am trying to work on extending his naps.

Gage will lay in his crib for hours until he finally falls asleep. He will coo, laugh, fling his legs, and sometimes even cry. When he is in there for about 40 min I try to help go to sleep. This seems to either make him mad or the efforts are pointless. If I get him up then he becomes more stimulated and tired. Should I just let him lay in his crib for hours until he falls asleep? It just seems cruel. What should I do? I know he knows how to put himslef to sleep, it just takes 3 times longer in the evening.

[LindseysMom]

How old is your ds?  How long is he awake from last nap til bedtime?  Mind posting your schedule for us to have a look?

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

My ds is a little over 12 weeks. Our schedule is never the same, but here is yesterday's schedule.

8:45 eat
Laid back to sleep because very crabby
10:30 sleep

11:30 Eat
12:45 sleep

2:30 Eat
3:55 Sleep
4:35 wake

5:00 Eat
6:30is Sleep
7:05 wake

7:30 Eat

10:30 Sleep

1-2am farted aroud (loudly) in crib

5am Eat

9:55am Wake for a new day

He laid in his crib last night from 7:00 t0 10:30 until he finally fell asleep. We tried 3 times to rock and/or pat/shh. It did nothing but make him mad. Another person thought that the bedtime resistance was due to being overtired. The day before I had to wake him from 3 out 5 naps at 1.5 hours. She suggested to let him sleep for 2 hours as he may need it.

[Kimberly®]

My DD is 3 1/2 months old and does the same thing as your DS. From my experience I feel its better to leave her be. She'll sleep when she's ready. Her Bedtime is at 7pm. She started doing this at about 10 weeks. If I lay her down at 7:00 or even 6:30 if she's extra tired, she'll go to sleep on her own. If I wait any later then 7:30 tops, she'll fuss for hours because she's over tired.

When I put her to bed she'll often times just coo to herself for a while before sleeping.

Perhaps you should start your bedtime routine earlier. He may be trying to tell you that he needs an earlier bedtime.
When I started the 7pm bedtime with my LO my life changed. She sleeps more, she's less fussy, she's just happier. Before I would put her to bed at 10-10:30 and she just wouldn't sleep because she was over stimulated and overtired. It sounds like this is whats happening to you.

Try putting him down for bed at 7:30 after his last evening bottle, if you do this every night  he'll learn that thats the norm. That its bedtime and time to sleep. If he cries try PU/PD or pat shush. Also when you do your bedtime routine, I recomend you try Bath, stories, then bottle. That way it will help him wind down and he'll know as soon as you get him in the bath that its time for sleep. Also maybe you could introduce a dreamfeed before you go to bed, this may help him sleep longer, although sleeping through till 5am at 12 weeks is pretty impressive. My LO sleeps till 6-6:30 with the dream feed. She starts her day at 8:30-9am


HTH
Please let us know what happends