What proportion independent play for your 1yos?

[SophieB]

Can anyone with a LO around 1 year old please tell me how much of their activity time is spent playing on their own, and how much playing with you?

Ellie seems to play on her own for most of the day quite happily, but then suddenly and without warning cracks it and wants to be cuddled.  Always happy to do that, of course, but it seems a bit unpredictable and I'm wondering how to get in first so she doesn't think she has to whinge and grizzle to get my attention.

Sometimes if I go to her and start trying to play, she looks at me like 'buzz off, mumma'.

Not sure what to do.  Any suggestions?

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Well my personal feeling on this is, that she's doing great to want to be playing independently on her own most of the day, and if she suddenly decides she wants you at random times I don't necessarily think you *need* to predict it and get in first.  I think her knowing that you're available for her is the most important thing and that her emotional needs are met as she needs them to be met.  For example; even if you choose to play with her at set times throughout the day, it doesn't mean that she necessarily won't *want* you 10mins later and I think it's important that you can help her as needed.  Hmmm, not sure if I'm explaining it right...  Just looking ahead at my 2.5yr old, he plays pretty much by himself most days, if he wants me to play (or just to have a cuddle) and I'm able, I will, if not I say "I'll just finish xx and then we can play", but I complete my thing quickly because waiting is still a REALLY long time LOL - can't say when it kicked in that he had the understanding to allow this sort of thing to happen though, definitely not at 12mths, probably closer to 18-24mths.  Also, whining is generally the way that they communicate at that age, perhaps, you could show her a "sign" for requesting your help and when she can talk give her the words that you'd prefer to hear.  Modelling the preferred behaviour, but not necessarily expecting it at this age is probably your best approach.

Of course, interested in hearing others takes on this. 

[SophieB]

Thanks Nikki.

Sometimes it seems that just when I think "oh, I'll start that (10 minute job) because she's happy playing at the moment", is exactly when she decides she DOES need me.  They're little mind readers.  And not in a good way.  :lol:

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Yep, I know that one!  :lol:

Can you get her involved so she's there helping you, they just love our company, they're social creatures, so would she "help" (yeah right  :wink: ) you and then you can do your thing and she's getting some other form of learning at the same time?  My ds would start to help hang up the washing on the drying rack, I'd talk about who's were what clothes, what colours they were etc.  My ds tends to still like to know where I am and often will choose to play on the floor of whereever I am.  Maybe if you give her a warning that you want to do something, and invite her along, that way it's done as a team effort if that makes sense.  You and your little buddy going to clean, wash up etc.  Then when you change location, help her get engaged in an activity near by (playing with pots or pans for example).  If it helps any, I don't know of many children that will happily play completely by themselves for long without us around in sight or hearing where we are.