need help. Lots of it!

[JanetP]

This is my first time on this board. I have a 11 week old baby. At her two month check up, her doctor asked about her sleep habits and advised me to get Tracy's book.

The problem is that when we brought our baby home, she was a horrible sleeper. She never slept. she cried most of the time and if she did sleep, it would be for 20 minute intervals.  After reading some of Tracy's book (haven't read the entire thing yet) I realize that now, the baby was probably very overtired. 

Anyway, my husband and I didn't know what to do, most nights, i'd pace the house trying to soothe my baby to sleep. there were many nights when I only got 2 or 3 hours sleep in a 24 hour period.

 We found by accident that she'd stop crying if I sat on my big exercise ball and bounced while holding the baby. it worked like a charm!  Most times, babe would stop crying immediately and fall right to sleep. Well, guess what, it's become our prop,. She's addicted to the ball.  I am tryying to use it less, but after all those sleepless nights in my past,  my husband and I do whatever we can to get the babe to sleep. Now she's sleeping through the night - most nights.  And she's napping more, so we don't want to mess with the system.

I know we have to wean her off the bouncy ball. She has no idea how to fall alseep on her own. Our second problem is that she sleeps in her little baby seat. (Fisher Price Baby Papasan) We have that in her crib., I have tried several times to get her to sleep in her crib but she wakes up immediately when we put her down. i've tried many nights without success. 

I want to add that we tried letting her "cry it out" several times. (Before getting Tracy's book.) That was horrible and I'm still scarred by it.

So we're back to our bad habits. Anything to get our sleep.

Does anyone have any advice on how to wean from the prop and get a stubborn little one to sleep on her own???

Help would be greatly appreciated!
Janet

[reecesmom]

Our DS is now 8 mo and a pretty good (knock on wood) independant sleeper and I attribute that to Tracy's book (BWSAYP).  My DH and I couldn't figure out why Reece was so cranky and fussy b/w 7 and 9 each night from age 2 week to 4/5 week...turns out he was overtired.  So we started shh/pat from the book and it worked great.  It took time and persistance and sometimes took us 15-20 minutes standing over his crib, patting his back and shhing in his ear (which made for sore backs and feet) but it worked.  Also, we used a white noise machine to help give some background noise and provide some faux "Shhing" when we finally left the room.  Give it a try and see what happens.  It won't happen right away, but you just have to remind yourself that the extra time it takes is so worth the long-term reward ---sleep!  At 11 weeks I wouldn't suggest CIO ... he's just too young to sooth himself.  Hope this helps...good luck and don't give up...one thing I've learned in my 8 months of mothering is "this too shall pass" !

[GG]

Sometimes a baby is able to sleep in a car or baby seat may be because the incline is helping with an acid reflux problem.  I would suggest checking to make sure that is not the problem (the Colic, Reflux and Crying forum has a thread that helps you identify the signs of reflux).  Another reason could be because the baby seat is bouncy and this comforts them when they move.

You are right in realizing that you need to change the accidental parenting ways.  While they work now, they will only cause problems in the future... when, for example, the baby no longer fits in the baby seat or if you travel and don't have it with you.

She is still young enough so that you can train her and she should adapt fairly quickly.  The first thing I recommend is making sure you and your dh get some rest.  If you yourselves are overtired, you won't be of any help to your lo.  Then, come up with a "plan of attack."  I suggest beginning at the start of a new day.  Your plan should include what you should do to get your dd to nap (at her age, pat/shush).  Getting her to sleep enough during the day will make it easier for her to sleep at night.  Also, be sure to look through Tracy's special sleep interview.  There is a lot of information in there but just look for the information that pertains to babies under 3 months old.

Make sure you are doing things the same way all day (and all night).  Don't fall back on an old trick that worked because this will only confuse your dd and will take longer for her to get used to sleeping on her own.

Let us know if you need additional direction and support.  Good luck!

[Cora Marie's Mama]

I agree with all that's been said above.
Most of all... hang in there.  You're not alone & you ARE a good mama, even if you feel lost & frustrated (like we all do) sometimes.

One comment: having a sleepy-time ROUTINE is indispensible.  Whether it's reading the same book (Good Night Moon is Cora Marie's fav) or singing the same song or playing the same music or white noise at each nap & at bed-time, your LO will begin to wind down & anticipate sleep.  It's a beautiful thing!  Babies love patterns and thrive on them...
We add a bath and massage at most bed-times as part of the routine and by now our naps (at 5 1/2 months old) don't require as much work.  But I recall all too well how SICK I was at times of shhhhh-ing.   :wink:

[GG]

Cora Marie's Mama is SO right!  A wind-down routine (and a good daily routine overall) helps a baby know what's coming up next.

But I recall all too well how SICK I was at times of shhhhh-ing.   :wink:

This just reminded me of the fact that, sometimes, I even accidentally shushed my dh or parents when they spoke too loud!  :lol:  Talk about too much shushing!!  *LOL*