Author Topic: 10.5 month old tantrum  (Read 1828 times)

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Offline sa

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10.5 month old tantrum
« on: December 14, 2005, 20:36:56 pm »
my 10.5 month old DS is starting to have tantrum.

if i remove something he is playing (which i think it's dangerous for him to play), he yells and cries.

i ignore him, very calmly give him something else. most times, he will still cry. i then walk away until he stop crying.

am i doing the right thing? should i try to calm him when he is crying?
mum to samuel 25JAN05
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Nikki~Nathan&Danielle

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10.5 month old tantrum
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2005, 21:11:23 pm »
Hi, at this age he won't really be having a tantrum in the same sense as what an older toddler does - he's just showing disappointment in loosing an exciting toy.  You are doing the right thing by distracting him with something else more tempting and maybe just start to give him words like "I can see you're upset at mummy taking away the X, but it's not safe for you to play with, here this is your toy" - obviously it won't make too much sense at this age, but it's good to start explaining why something isn't ok.  As far as walking away, I would probably pick him up or sit down next to him instead, and instead of cajoling him as such (oh poor baby etc), I'd ignore the crying in the form of walking him somewhere else (once you've validated his feelings and why he's upset) and distract with your voice or pointing to something or playing a game etc.

Oh, and probably remove the things that you don't want him playing with/touching, it will be quite a while before he'll understand about not being allowed them.

Good luck. :)

Offline 949nikkirn

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10.5 month old tantrum
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2005, 03:46:38 am »
DS will be 10 months tomorrow and is doing the very same thing!!! Thanks for posting!! 
We bought this neat play yard type thing that is in our living room that is totally 100% safe so I have no worries with that. The problem is that I have a hard time putting him in it 100% of the time. I do think it's good to do SOME exploring, but we have a little house that can't be 100% safe all the time, hence the play yard.  I know ds has learned the word no, but lately he keeps doing things even after I say no, then when I redirect he gets super ed off and cries like I have slit his wrists.  It is so sad, but really I know better.  What do we do????  Another thing he keeps doing is when we are holding him trying to love him he just tries to hit our face and wont stop when we ask.  What is this deal??  Btw, he has been a wonderful easy baby.  Sleeping through the night since 2 months, crawling almost on schedule, and trying to walk now...it's just been so much fun for us.  I have realized that he really hasn't said anything other than a rare "daddy" so maybe this is all related to communication.  What do you think?

Nikki~Nathan&Danielle

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10.5 month old tantrum
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2005, 04:19:34 am »
Hi, it will be a very long time before your ds will actually take "no" as being no.  They lack ANY form of self control at this age, so even though he will be noticing when you say no, it doesn't mean that he's going to listen and follow through and then remember for next time.  It will cause a lot of stress to you to expect that from him just yet (been there done that  :wink: ).  What sort of things are you saying no to?  If there are precious/dangerous things within reach (plants, good books, lamps etc), I'd put them away for 6-12mths and then start to work on it again.  Place things that he is allowed on the shelves, or maybe things that aren't so precious and are safe for him to play with - you can get down with him on the floor, talk about the item, explain that it's yours and that he is allowed a little play, then put it back and distract him on to other things.  It may take a few weeks to months for him to start to ignore that particular item - but allowing him to have access to some stuff actually takes away the mystery and need to always check it out.

With the hitting in your face, I'd say keep it simple and say "just gently" show him how to touch gently, take his hand, stroke your face, you do the same to him etc.  For now you will need to model the "preferred" behaviour, so he learns through your actions, once again it may take a little while (same goes for grabbing animals).

Communication, I don't think many babies can communicate in a way that would ease their frustration when under 12mths (but probably more like 18mths, and then as older toddlers there is even more frustration, so even being verbal doesn't necessarily fix it), they're just not verbal enough where they can explain their needs.  If it's simple things like wanting food/water etc, you could teach him sign language which may help in that way.

HTH :)

Offline Katet

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10.5 month old tantrum
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2005, 09:20:25 am »
I have to agree with Nikki, you can't expect them to "understand" & remember No for a long time yet.

I have found redirection & diverting the attention to be great. showing them the things that they aren't allowed to play with does take the mystry out of it... my ds#1 only ever looked in our (unchildproofed) china cupboard once & then after I sat with him & "showed him it" he has NEVER looked in it since.

When ds used to Hit (for affection) we showed him how to pat instead & by the time he was 1yo we used to get comments on how gentle he was "patting dogs"
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Offline 949nikkirn

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10.5 month old tantrum
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2005, 17:32:11 pm »
Thank you so much. I will try the explaining and the gentle patting.  I appreciate your comments and find that knowing that you all have been here helps with my patience. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Have any idea why I never get a notice when someone replies despite checking the box?? Am I missing something?