pls reassure me bf is more portable than it sounds

[Stacie:Emma&Josh Mom]

Okay so I have to be honest here.  I want to want to breastfeed.  I really do.  And part of me does want to.  But part of me also knows that bottle feeding is so much easier in that dh can take a night waking or I can go out for more than 2 hours between feedings...but I also know that pumping is an option.  Please reassure me that you get used to the pumping and scheduling and that breastfeeding can be portable even for those of us very modest people.  I know it's best for baby so you don't have to convince me or anything and I really do want to give it my best shot, even knowing the issues I had the first time, but part of me thinks it's just so much harder, especially in the beginning with the frequency of feedings and having to do it all yourself cause dh can't.  Thoughts???

[deb]

For the first month I'd plan on being at home for feeds as much as possible if Bfing, just so you and baby can get to know each other w/fewer distractions. After that, though, once you have your system worked out, go for it!

I know many moms can feed under a blanket over their shoulder - I am NOT one of those moms! (at least not once baby starts to learn to wiggle LOL) I just find as discreet a place and position as I can and go for it. I figure it's legal (at least here in the States), I'm being as discreet as I can and still nurse, and hey, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FOR!!! :lol:

Once we hit a month or two old, I could start to sit Josie and Nat in my lap to nurse and they'd do most of the latch-on work for me, so it did get easier. And while they took bottles, I could give them EBM, formula, or a mix if needed - sadly, when Nat got sick she nursed so much and never went back to taking bottles, but maybe if you can keep it up you can stretch it out. With Josie I'd pump every night around her bedtime while DH gave her a bottle from the previous night's milk topped off w/formula if needed; managed it for a while with Nat, but her cold threw a monkey wrench into that so I'm still the one and only milk source since she gave up bottles. Yeah, well, sooner or later I'll have "the girls" back! LOL

Good luck!!! Yes, it's a little tricky at first, but you can do it! If we did it, it's definitely possible!

[alligirl]

You can do it!!!  It's got to be easier than carrying around bottles and water and formula!!  And you might surprise yourself on the modesty part...I found I was less worried/modest this time around. Get yourself some good nursing shirts and maybe one of those really cool nursing blankets and like Deb said, find a discreet place.   And you can work out a pumping schedule that fits for all of you.  You just have to go into determined that you will make it work or give it your best.   

I was able to work it that Z never even got a bottle...he's on a sippy now, but we never even had to think about bottles.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!   And you'll be so proud when you do!

[teezee]

i too am a very modest person - and when out shopping at the mall i couldn't do it when dd started screaming cuz she was hungry - was good i carried a small bottle of formula (they supplied it to me at the hospital) and a bottle to tide her over.  i didn't like doing the blanket thing either.  that's when i started pumping...which i really didn't like at first but it was well worth it and it did get easier after getting a good night's sleep here and there and having a little freedom...altho as it was said in another reply, for the first month u should really solely bf ur lo to establish bfing well before introducing a bottle.  my lo will nurse, take a bottle, drink out of a sippy and a straw - she's not too fond of the bottle but will take it when she's hungry and i am not around - and she's six months - she loves the straw cup - it's her favorite..so i wouldn't worry too much about being 'bottle dependant' as long as u continue introducing other ways of drinking/eating early enough - for me i started around 4 or 5 months.  funny i could throw my boob out in front of ANYONE in my home - but not in public... :oops:

[webfoot]

Given that you don't have the luxury of bf in private w/ a toddler (I remember a vivid horrific scene of me chasing Kyle through the lingerie department at JC Penny w/ boob hanging  out, Amy crying (we'd ducked into a dressing room to bf, he figured out how to open the door!) I highly recommend the one bottle of formula a day approach.

I always subscribed to the philosophy that if I was attached to a breast pump for 20 minutes I wasn't sure what all in terms of freedom I was buying for myself.

At 3 weeks I introduced on bottle of formula a day, usually give it around dinner time. but once you have baby taking a bottle you can really use it whenever and pump if need be if the timing leaves you uncomfortable. ONce you're well established in your milk suppy it really won't matter if you miss on feed here or there. I would have dh give the "relief bottle " if he was home, if he wasn't usually I would just prop it up with a burp cloth or something. I found/ still find/ the most stressful time is when I'm trying to cook dinner. Baby is cranky, K and A are cranky, dh comes home and is unwinding from work, it just helps me to keep things peaceful.

Evan actually won't take a bottle unless he's really hard up these days, he'll hold out. I've gone back to the 4 oz bottles b/c I was tired of dumping out the 8 oz ones. BUT I do know he'll take one and it is such a relief to be able to leave him. And also in public as I"m usually chasing someone down... we don't bf in public.  ROTF... That's how it goes.

Good luck!

[Windsurfer's mum]

Bf was hard to start with but so much better and easier in the long run. We do wish we had given a bottle of expressed from a week old because at 6 weeks we had problems. We got in to a routine after 4 weeks which i established for him, this meant i knew when he needed food so could organise my day around that.
good luck and enjoy your newbee x

[Jennifer2e]

Stacie-

I can totally relate to everything you are saying.  I'm the kind of girl that needs to get away and go to the store ALONE sometimes.  Things I did to accomplish this

-Made sure we introduced a bottle as soon as nursing and latch were well established.  Ds was a week and a half.  I know others say to wait longer but for me he HAD to take a bottle and I didn't want to wait.  He does great and has no nipple confusion.  He didn't take right to the bottle but it only took a few days for him to be okay with it.

-I had Dh do the DF.  This meant I would pump as much as possible to ensure good milk supply.  I had a lot of milk so I single side fed and pumped the other side.  Yes it is a lot of work but I knew it meant freedom at other times.  I still pump a lot but this is because I don't want to give formula yet.  The morning is a great time to pump after LO eats.  You usually have good supply then.  I also pump again right before I go to bed even if it has only been 1.5 hours since I fed him.  It has taught my body to make more then.  Since Dh would DF I would have pleanty by the time he ate from me again.  If you are okay with formula then I would just wait 2-3 weeks until your milk supply is well established.

-I bought two extra pairs of breast shields.  The part that attaches to the bottle and to the pump.  I was going crazy washing them all the time so the extra ones help.

-Didn't worry about who was around when I fed him.  I remember with ds #1 being shy about it but with #2 I don't care.  I think it is because it was a goal of mine to BF and I feel like it is a job and people have to deal.  That might sound bad to those moms who just love nursing but it just isn't me.  I don't love it most of the time but I do feel like it is best.  Since we got started good right from the start and things are going well I have no excuse to quit :lol:  I have also grown to enjoy walking out of the house with the baby and a diaper.  No bottles for him is great.  I also like it in the middle of the night.

I understand you saying that you "want to want to do it".  For me I really wanted to but purly from a health stand point.  I really hope to avoid allergies with this kiddo.  That is my motivation.  People would tell me it is so much better for bonding and this I do not agree with.  So I needed other motivation :wink:   I also find it cool that my body is keep another little body ALIVE.  Amazing.

Sorry this is so long I just relate to the things you are saying.  I have been nursing for 9 weeks 3 days so you can do it!!

[GraceKellysmom]

Wow, these messages are amazing. Jennifer2e you made me cry!

A planner can make breastfeeding pretty portable. In the beginning, you'll be home a lot anyway, getting used to two. As time goes on and you're ready to get out, it is pretty easy to plan. You can feed right before you go, get to the store and back in time to feed again. You can plan to feed while out (in your car, a dressing room, your mom's house, etc) if you'll be out for a while.

I do agree that the modesty does go away as time goes on but you can also be very discreeet about feeding in public (like at play group)

You've gotten some great tips on pumping and how to integrate formula. These are very doable options.

I also kwym about "wanting to want to" I desperately want to this time around, and even I am questioning myself, am I crazy to think I can?

Whatever way we feed our babies, we FEED our babies. They thrive, they grow. We do what is best for our babies and our families. Thank goodness there are options and choices to fit almost everyone.

[rachelle]

you can totally do it stacie!! Don't you remember sitting in the bathroom at the mall in college station while alli, crystal, and I all fed our babies?  hehe, wasn't that fun?? :lol:

anyhow, with kiandra, she had some formula off and on after she was a few months old because I wasn't huge on pumping at that time.  I don't think that supplementing with some formula is the end of the world, like when you're out and about or whatever. 

Now, with kalli, I never had to.  We'd moved to texas and didn't have nearly as many opportunities to get out (didn't have family around,etc), and when we did she was either with us, or I pumped.  I got used to feeding in public...I was able to use a blanket (tanya's huge swaddling blankets work well for feeding!), and people got used to me feeding.  I'm pretty modest, but eventually got to the point that most of the time, I'd feed covered up wherever I was (to a point).

Anyhow, that's kinda babbling but there ya go.

[Lilah'sMommy]

Everyone has already given you such great advice.  I just wanted to add that you can do it, and that really bfing is much more portable than formula feeding.  Do you have a good baby sling?  Some are great for those early days of constant nursing, when you must get out of the house.  You can put the baby in, and when s/he needs to nurse, get yourself situated (in the bathroom, if need be), and go.  You can get pretty well covered, and if you have a nursing shirt, no one will need to know you're nursing at all.  Plus, you can have your hands free!

You can do it!  If you run into trouble, we're all here for you!

[annamum]

I second Sabrina, get yourself a good sling as you will need it while chasing Emma anyway :lol:.

I always thought that taking bottles and formula and water is much more demanding, I have a short memory :lol: , than just taking a baby, myself and going.

Good luck!

[teezee]

just wanted to add that i have never in 6 months bf at all in public - besides a playgroup or at a family members/friends house and today at the doctor i did right in the waiting room!!  it wasn't bad at all - not like i imagined it would be - u do what u gotta do!

[Jennifer2e]

Stacy-Why did I make you cry..hopefully in a good way and not bad :?

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

It's VERY portable!!  I was really glad to be breastfeeding and not have to worry about carrying anything to feed dd. You'll find a comfort level that suits both of you for feeding in public (or not!), but it's a great feeling to be able to feed your baby from just you.  And we'll all be here to support you, remember! 

[GraceKellysmom]

Jennifer, it is just so wonderful, what you are doing and what you have overcome. It feels my heart with hope, and yes, the tears are happy ones.

[cdfox]

I have a six-week-old son and was terribly nervous and anxious about breastfeeding too.  I wasn't sure about it either as I didn't know anyone who did it.  My mother, mil, and sil didn't breastfeed so I didn't have any support or guidance from them.  However, I was determined to give it a try and I've been pleasantly surprised by my breastfeeding experience, though I definitely had some hairy moments yet stuck with it in the end.

Here are some of my suggestions:

1) Breastfeeding is not innate nor necessarily easy.  Some babies latch on right away while others do not (my baby did not).  Be persistent and keep repeating to yourself that breastfeeding takes time, patience and skill.  It does get easier and less time-consuming, believe it or not.  If you tell yourself that you're going to try it for a week, but aim for a month, you're more likely to succeed than trying to commit for six months or a year before you've started.  Well, that was my experience anyway. 

2) Ask the nurses in the hospital to verify that the baby is correctly latched-on.  Call lactation consultants if you experience any problems.  I had to call one at my hospital the second week after delivery.

3) Educate yourself about the correct latched-on positions.  I received a free copy of breastfeeding your baby pamphlet from the hospital (I think) which was a lifesaver for me.  The baby's mouth has to be wide open (as if eating a big mac) and you have to bring the baby close enough to the breast so the baby's nose, chin and cheeks are pressed against it.

4) It's worth repeating that if your baby is latched-on correctly, you won't have sore nipples and breastfeeding will get easier. 

5) We introduced a bottle during the second week so Dad could do a feed.   Do it slowly and gradually (aim for 1/2 oz. for example at first) and the baby will likely take it.  I haven't found pumping to be a problem but actually found it easier than I thought.

6) Get your baby on a routine with set times for feeds.  I've now got my six-week-old feeding every three hours during the day.  Before I started an EASY routine, I was feeding on-demand; fostered a snacker; had a fussier baby and was rather unhappy with the lack of predictability.  If you've got your baby on a routine with set times for feeds then it's easier to travel with your baby.

7) Enjoy the time with your baby!

[Jennifer2e]

{{{{{HUGS}}}} Stacy

[kate585]

I second (or third or fourth or...) what the other ladies have said.  I haven't had to bf in public, but have hit a few dressing rooms here or there.  (One time we even stopped at a mall, walked to the dressing room, fed, and then left.  Much better than a gas station restroom I thought.   :lol: )
I agree that it's much easier to just get my little man and go.  No measuring things out, bringing water, and NO CLEANING BOTTLES AND BOTTLES AND BOTTLES! 
I pump daily so I always have enough milk for ds to go to mil's house 2 mornings a week so I can go to work or if I want to go out alone or wit my girlfriends.  When Ryan dropped his dreamfeed, I kept pumping at 10 and that's worked well.  I also TRY to remember to pump when I put him down for nap # 1. That way I get a lot of milk (morning seems to yield more?) and I have enough time to recover before his next feeding.
And, finally, I know this isn't really about being portable, but it is SO MUCH EASIER in the middle of the night.  Instead of getting up, measuring, heating, etc. you just go in there and whip it out and stick it in.   :lol:   Sorry to be blunt, but I thanked my stars many times when I was back in bed relatively quickly after a 2 am feed. 
Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!!!

[Jaime]

another thought... department stores with furniture sections have very cushy recliners and very few people.  so much nicer to sit & bf there than in a dressing room (though i've done that too.)  and put one of those harness things around dd & chain her to the double stroller... she has some freedom & can't get away either.

[seaflower]

I see the others already said it all... I totally agree it is so much easier down the line. I used to be very tempted to give forumla, but now DD is 5mo and the days when MIL is babysitting there is so washing/sterilising etc involved... so much easier to put her on the boobie and feed away. Also it is great comfort for her when she is upset, as DH calls it 'a secret weapon' - worked like a magic through her vaccinations so far.

[thodder]

Hi,

Sounds like you got a lot of good suggestions.  Having had a baby who would not latch for the first 4.5 weeks of life, I had to go through bottles, pumping etc...  It was such a pain to lug a bottle around everywhere, and find somewhere to heat it etc.   I thought I would be super modest about feeding in public, but after it being a pain to hide under the blanket, I gave up.  And the hubby was super supportive.  In Canada, if someone bothers you when breastfeeding they can be charged.  It got to the point that I'm in the middle of the local Donut Shop and am just flopping out a boob and feeding.  Soooo much easier than bottles.  :-)

You can do it, it really is easy once it starts to work.  And as you said, you can always pump, or just supplement with formula if you want some freedom.

Theressa

[teezee]

theressa - i didn't know that u could charge someone in canada if they bother u while breastfeeding?!...good to know...makes me a little less 'intimidated' to feed in public - thanks!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Yes, it's in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms that we have the right to breastfeed in public! 

[Stacie:Emma&Josh Mom]

Thank you all so, so much for your replies.  I really am going to give this my best shot.  If nothing else, it's a great money saver and that's a great motivation for me right now, especially right after the holidays.

Jennifer - thank you for admitting that not all women love to breastfeed.  That was part of my struggle the first time.  It's just not my thing, but I do know that it is best and really do want what's best for my ds.  I'm trying to think positive above all else and plan in advance as much as possible to have all that I need on hand including a lactation consultant's phone number and fees. 

Thank you all and I'm sure I'll be back with more questions down the line!

[GraceKellysmom]

Stacie - YES heavens YES not all women love to breastfeed, in fact it is hard to find a woman who swears she loved the whole experience. Babies and moms go through periods where it is harder, periods where it is easier, times mom just wants to quit, times when they can't imagine ever weaning. The thing is finding the continuing motivation and support to keep going, no matter what stage you're in.

Well that's what we're here for.

And that is what La Leche League (most groups  :wink: ) and other breastfeeding support groups are there for.

It just depends on your level of need for interaction with other nursing moms and desire for personal or online support.    Everybody's different.