EASY for my 3.5 month old - advice please!

[KellyC]

Hi guys

My little man Zander has been on EASY since birth.  We've been experiencing the dreaded 45 minute naps for the past few weeks so it's difficult for me to leave you a typical day but we aim for the routine in Tracy's latest book, ie. wake up at 7, feeding every 3 hours, 3 naps and a catnap and bed at 7.30 (it's usually closer to 7 as Zander fights his catnap and struggles by the end of the day).  I've got a couple of questions so here goes;

I feel as though Zander is ready to move towards a 4 hour routine as he is not hungry every 3 hours (though I feed him anyway) and only takes 10-15 minutes BF at each feed.  It's now 5pm and Zander was last fed at 1pm but is fast asleep - so he can definitely go longer than 3 hours.  He also sleeps the whole night from 7pm to about 7am with a dreamfeed at 11pm or thereabouts.  However, I don't think he's ready to move to a 4 hour routine with regards to his Activity time.  He still only manages about 1 - 1.5 hours max.  Is it possible to tweak my routine to take account of the fact that he doesn't need to feed every 3 hours but can't take too much Activity time yet?

My second question is with regards to the mornings.  He often wakes up at about 5am and fusses for quite a long time.  I don't go to him unless he really asks for it and more often than not goes back to sleep.  He's also usually awake for a little while before I get him out of bed and feed him - I make sure not to rush to him just because he's fussing and he also needs to make quite alot of noise to wake me up properly!  I set the alarm for 7am but I know he's quite often up before me.  I think he's waking up fairly tired as he's ready for his first nap only 45 minutes or so after I've got him up for a feed.  I find it really difficult to judge when to put him down for his nap first thing - how do I know how long he's already been awake?  This puts the routine out right from the start of the day too.  How do others handle this?

Sorry I've not been very concise - it never has been my strong point!

Thanks
Kelly x

[Deb_in_oz]

how long does he nap when you put him down?  does he transition fine through 45min?

if he naps 1.5hrs at least per nap then i think it is doable if you really want to move to 4hr feeds.  just thoughti woudl throw out for you that 10-15 min BF at 3 months seems totally normal to me and sounds like a full feed, so if you are just worried because at 3 hrs he does not feed for 20-40 min that is all part of them getting more efficient at BFing...and i woudl consider staying with 3hr EASY if he is otherwise happy on the routine you have

anyway IF you still want to move to feeding every 4 hrs (some feeds 3 1/2 hrs, others 4) but working on shorter A times you coudl do something like this (adjust according to wake times etc)

wake 7am
nap 8-9:30 or so
feed 10:30
nap 11 - 12:30/1pm+
feed 2pm
nap 2:30 - 4
catnap 5:30 - 6
feed 6pm
bath and bedtime routine as usual and in bed between 7-7:30
DF 11pm as usual unless wakes looking for it in which case I woudl feed at waking or move DF earlier to catch him before wakes (might not be able to go 6pm - 11pm)

this is just an idea, obviously if he does some 2hr+ naps then you can push the feeds later
i put te timings i did so that you can feed later in the A time, but after 15 min feed still have 10-20 min for A and windown so not feeding to sleep (it is okay to feed later inthe A cycle you just don't want to create a feed -sleep association if you can avoid it)

about your questions

I think he's waking up fairly tired as he's ready for his first nap only 45 minutes or so after I've got him up for a feed

even if he was waking when you were up, he could still be ready for a nap at 45 min.  at 3 months my spirited dd was only up 45 min for first A time and then 45min- 1hr for other A times.  3 months is still very young and 45 mn A ti8mes are VERY common especially for first As as many babies see that first nap as more of an extension on night sleep.  they wake and want to eat and hav a little up time before hitting the sack again.

This puts the routine out right from the start of the day too. How do others handle this?

don't think of it as "out of whack" if you can help it.  it is not a schedule that you need to adhere to (unless that is what works for your lo).  EASY is a flexible routine that changes with each child based on temperment and A times that work for them.  if a 3 mo old was only staying up for 30 min max through the day or eating every 1-2 hrs I woudl say to try to push them out to stretch a bit more, but when they are doing reasonable A times and feeding 3+ hourly and sleeping through, they are doing fine and the day can be a bit more fluid - sometimes they get really tired during an A time and want to get to bed 20 min early, if he gives you clear cues at 45min -1hr that he is tired I woudl put him down etc.  You woudl be amazed how many times it happens that when you put a lo down "earlier" for a nap/sleep they actually add that time onto the nap as they were not overtired for the sleep.  obviously it varies for each child, but i have always found overtiredness is the biggest culprit for routine busting so better to follow their cues and err on the side of getting to bed earlier rather than later.  HTH

[KellyC]

Thanks, that helps so much.  Zander's just starting to sleep for 1.5-2 hours at his naps (with wake to sleep) and we've been feeding towards the end of the Activity time quite often as this is just how it's worked out!  Your suggested routine sounds like it could work for us at this time and I could then develop it into a 4 hour routine with longer Activity times when Zander's able.

Thanks again
Kelly x