help I'm stuck in the room !

[Khyan & Sahria's mum]

Ok so Khyan has not been allowed to start sleep training for what feels like forever now - so while I was waiting for his grommet surgery I started a technique of the slow hand removal which is working really great (thanks Kate ) but I'm still stuck at being in the room till he is asleep  :?


Our night goes:

Khyan has a cuddle with me, and then into his bed
I then sit on the floor beside his cot and pop my hand into the cot beside him but still LIGHTLY touching him for a couple of mins then I slowly remove it until he is lying there on his own, he can't see me as there is a blanket hung on the side of his cot to prevent him seeing me, most of the time he will lie there and settle himself and fall asleep without any other help, sometimes he will fuss and stand up - to which I lay him back down and start with the hand lightly beside him again

The problem is that I can't leave the room till he is asleep - so if I do everything as normal and then when he is settled and lying in his cot falling asleep I get up and start to leave he hears the foot steps and stands up or if I get to the door and silently open the door he sees the tiny amount of light and CRIES lots and lots  :cry: and then we have to start again and this can go on for hours.

Now on Wednesday we have our followup appointment and hopefully we have the all clear that Khyan is a normal little boy without ear problems      but this too poses a problem !

Do we stick out the current technique (ofcourse with your imput as to deal with me in the room) or do we go with the same technique and then I leave and when he cries go back and start the walk in/walk out technique? and if we change I'm scared I'm going to ruin all the good work we have already done  :shock:

KateT- if you are reading this do you think that the "night night" every 5 secs that you did with Aiden might help his situation ? - I'm just scared that it might stimulate him with the talking (because I don't do any right now)

Also I am concerned that he is needing me more than I think as he still wakes most nights at least 2 times, although it may only take 1 min to help him back to sleep - he still does seem to need me most of the time which means it's not really independant :roll:

TIA

[jessica and emilys mummy]

I have this with Emily.If I know she's asleep,I can get up and as soon as my knees click or the floorboard creaks slightly,she jumps up shouting Mummy and screams the place down.As soon as I lay her down and stroke her hair,she's off again.
One of the things that we have found works is Daddy comes in to say goodnight and tells her Mummy's having a wee and he'll just her,then he closes the door slightly,saying very quietly 'Mummys coming' a few times.
Touch wood,it's working at the moment.
During the night now,if she does wake,I have to go in and out to the count of 10 otherwise I'm stroking for a good 2 hours.
Hope this helps.

BTW I would start now.The sooner the better really. :wink:

[Khyan & Sahria's mum]

During the night now,if she does wake,I have to go in and out to the count of 10 otherwise I'm stroking for a good 2 hours.

does she cry the whole time you're out of the room ? and how long does it take for her to fall asleep if you do the counting to 10?

Thanks

[jessica and emilys mummy]

At first it would take about 50 mins.(which was good considering it was taking 2 hours with the stroking)
Now take between about 40 seconds and 10 mins.
It's really hard because they tend to scream for what seems like ages,but persevere.I used to do pelvic floor or bum squeezes outside the door to the count of 10 to take my mind off of the crying.
Once you start,don't stop,I did that a couple of times because I was tired,fed up etc,all it did was put me back a few days.
Good luck
To answer your question,yes at the beginning she did cry when I was out of the room,but she stopped soon after.If when you're counting to 10 and they stop crying,stop counting and then resume again,if they start crying.
Do not go in if they're not crying :wink: (made that mistake as well)

[Katet]

Michaela, for me with Aiden, he has always slept with the door open & so there was light in his room & I just moved closer to the door & then eventually out in the hall... so not sure what I wouldhave done with a dark room.
Also as far as the verbal re-assurance, I also always did that from the start, so not sure about introducing it later...I guess maybe try giving some every 30secs early on when you are first settling him (say just 3-4 times) & then as he gets calm stop & then if he starts up do it again, with less physical envolvement.
For me it was sort of discovering what worked & doing a bit of forward/backward steps...I know for a while I thought it would be a nightmare for years BUT since the second week of Aiden being in a big boy bed, we really haven't had a bedtime problem (hope I haven't jinxed myself)... so have hope it does get better.