Baby conditioned to E as soon as wakes in crib

[melbatarseh]

Since eating always follows sleeping when we do EASY, my daughter is conditioned to want to eat as soon as she wakes up in her crib from a nap or at night.  She is very insistent that she must nurse, right now!  She's 6 months, and been on EASY since about 6 weeks.  This situation is fine during the day because I'm planning on feeding her anyway.  But I don't know if I'll ever get her to stop nursing at night when she wakes up.

Now, I do nurse her to sleep at night, and I know this is the wrong thing to do and contributes to the problem:  since she goes to sleep at night by nursing, she wants to nurse to return to sleep when she wakes in the night.  But does anyone see what I mean about how is she going to know it's not time to eat in the middle of the night when I've spent 5 months teaching her to eat every time she wakes up? 

It seems like the only solution is for her to just not wake up at all in the middle of the night.

[Deb_in_oz]

hi - i think that since this is specifically about feeding associations i am going to move this to the Breast Feeding forum so that other nursing moms can give you some input.


good luck
Deb

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

When she wakes from naps, do you greet her and turn on the light, etc?  That can be a difference with nightwakings to help change the association.  As for overnight - does she wake a lot?  It might be a good idea to start with breaking the nurse-to-sleep association at bedtime.  Can you move the bf slightly earlier in the bedtime routine and just do some cuddling before bed?  Then when she wakes at night (if you truly think she's not hungry - depends on her and how often she's waking....), you can do the cuddling thing or pu/pd instead of nursing.  But as I'm not sure how often she's waking at night, I warn you that many babies that age still need a feed overnight. Also, can dh be enlisted to help? If she's not seeing and smelling you, she might be more inclined to take other soothing methods. I think if you can do the bedtime sleep without nursing, then overnight will be easier to tackle!

[melbatarseh]

Yes, when she wakes in the morning and from naps, I greet her happily ("did you sleep well!  I'm so glad!), and turn on lights.  When she wakes in the night, I say nothing and avoid eye contact (it will make her smile and try to play with me).

I do need to stop nursing to sleep, and in fact, it isn't really working that well anymore because she wakes up as soon as she touches the crib mattress.  I'm thinking of trying to gradually stretch the time between nursing and landing in crib, and put something between the two events like turning off the light (right now she nurses with the hall light on and swaddled).  Then maybe a few days later, I could turn off the light and swaddle....

On a good night, she sleeps about 6 hours, wakes to nurse, and sleeps another 5 or 6.  I'm pretty happy with that routine, and I can live with waking up once in the middle of the night.  But when she wakes more than that, I don't really know if she's hungry or not, but probably not, and I can't get her back to sleep without nursing.  So if I stop nursing to sleep, I guess I'm hoping that she'll either put herself back to sleep without me having to get up, or at least I'll be able to get her back to sleep without nursing.  Does this seem possible?

DH is willing to help, and has had some success when I have nursed her and she still won't go back to sleep. 

Thanks fo the help!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

I would suspect that if she wakes other than after about 5 or 6 hrs, then it's probably more a developmental reason for waking (starting to crawl, sit up, etc...). If dh is willing to help, it would be great for him to take those wakings. She doesn't sound like she's too bad a sleeper overall - one nightwaking at 6 months is great.  I think if you can gradually decrease the nursing to sleep and put some cuddling or something else in between, it'll help with the nightwakings.  Does she have a lovey or blanket she likes?  That and using cue words can help - every night say the same thing as you lay her down, etc.  Keep me posted on how things are going!!