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Author Topic: Remind me I'm doing the right thing!  (Read 1460 times)

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Offline deenz

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Remind me I'm doing the right thing!
« on: December 20, 2005, 07:17:50 am »
OK, I know most of this stuff in theory, I just need some support atm!

I am having a real hard time feeding dd2.  It started at 3wks and seems to have progressively gotten worse (now coming up 13wks old).  Not too sure what the prob is - seems like reflux leading to some breast refusal (possibly).  Have had LC visit last week.  Had a paeditrician appt yesterday and finally got Losec prescribed.  I can only hope that this is going to fix it!

The problem is that I am encountering some opinions now like "why don't you just change to formula" sort of thing (not all like this, but some people questioning my milk etc etc).  Even the drs ask me whether I want to change to formula.  And I'm anticipating this opinion a lot over Christmas as we stay with family members (older) who often formula fed themselves.

The thing is I know that if it is reflux, then formula won't change anything, but I'm finding myself questioning everything at the moment.

It shouldn't be this difficult to feed my child.

Am I just being 'stubborn' about this bf thing (I am extremely pro-bf)?  Maybe there is something wrong with my milk/supply... etc etc.  (Dd's weight gain has been very poor the last couple of weeks, so likely my supply has dropped.)

I don't know what I really want from you guys... maybe some quick-fire answers to those inevitable questions!  Just a little bit of support I guess.
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Offline anna and adam

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« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2005, 08:55:22 am »
I found that in the early months of reflux, when I tried the odd bottle of formula things got so much worse. And social preassure to do what other people in the family think is better for the baby -just make it very clear from the start that you know what is best for your baby, there will always be issues where others disagree (I'll just rock him to sleep...). I have now breastfed for nearly nine months, having had no plans to bf after the first week! I find it is now so easy, the reflux problem more or less disappeared when he started on solids and I am really happy I kept going through those weeks of fantasising about bottles.
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Offline RebeccaH

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Remind me I'm doing the right thing!
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2005, 09:00:09 am »
First and foremost (as I'm sure you already know) you're not being stubborn at all, your doing the very best thing for your baby and yourself and you're doing it in the best way you can. I also agree with you when you say it shouldn't be this difficult to feed your child, especially as b/f is meant to be so natural! I think it sounds like you do need some support and hopefully the Losec is a start. It is extremely unlikely that you have a problem with supply or that you can't feed this baby (especially if you have already fed your first child) so maybe the problems with weigh gain are more to do with positioning etc. (especially if it continues after the drugs kick in). The professionals you've seen should be supporting you with this rather than suggesting formula, you should try to contact a local b/f counsellor if you can.

In my opinion the only way switching to formula would be a help is that it would enable others to feed your lovely lo and give you a break, but surely that's your choice rather than other peoples. Is it possible to express enough for a feed so you can have a few hours off? Might make you feel better.
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Offline Katet

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Remind me I'm doing the right thing!
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2005, 09:10:32 am »
I think you should keep bf... My stock answer when I had problems with bf my first (& even the nurses said maybe I should try ff) ... "If nature intended us to ff our babies, why do we have breasts & produce milk"
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Offline GraceKellysmom

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« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2005, 19:14:13 pm »
Sometimes I like to act shocked when people ask if I am/was/am going to breastfeed. Like "how else would I feed my baby?"  :shock:  :lol:  :wink:  Other times when I am nicer I just politely change the subject.  :wink:

YES you should keep going! If you notice, you'll find that the most questions are asked around the 10-15 week mark. Babies start bobbing on/off, refusing the breast, arching their backs and screaming, etc. They don't just lay there and eat anymore.

I sure hope the meds work for you. Ours took about a week to work completely. If you want to talk about other ideas after that, I'm here!
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Stacy, Mama to
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Offline Lilah'sMommy

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« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2005, 20:45:59 pm »
You are by no means being stubborn!  Keep going, try to stay strong with your family over the holidays.  You are doing what's best for your baby.  Formula will not help anything and may make things worse.  We're here to cheer you on... I hope the meds help!
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annamum

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Remind me I'm doing the right thing!
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2005, 21:42:15 pm »
I think it doesn't matter what choices we make as parents, there will be always somebody to prove your wrong and criticize you. If you were formula feeding there would be somebody to tell you off that you should breastfeed. And so on. In my opinion, you should not try to defend yourself and your choices, be firm and don't allow debates regarding your parenting decisions. You won't change their minds but if you say firmly that you don't want to discuss it and change the subject you may have a more pleasant time with your family than if you were defending your position. Besides, you have nothing to defend, you should be proud of yourself :D.

Typical exchange would be like this:

Relative: "You should give this baby some formula, it would be better for both of you."
You: "We are happy with our decision to breastfeed, do you want some more tea or a cookie?"
Relative: "But blah blah blah..."
You: "I don't want to discuss this, let's talk about something else. Have you seen the last episode of..."
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Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

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Remind me I'm doing the right thing!
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2005, 00:43:28 am »
Denise - good for you for sticking to it with all those problems and stresses! I agree with everyone else - Monika had some WONDERFUL suggestions for intrusive comments  :lol: .  It's not easy when your lo has reflux, but it WILL get better.  If you're concerned about your supply, there are always options like fenugreek and blessed thistle to try, but you might find that once the meds start working, she'll be happier and settle down better.  And we're always here for you!
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Offline deenz

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« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2005, 07:10:18 am »
Thanks ladies!  Feeling a bit better about it all today (always helps when baby's in bed asleep!).  Got her weighed on the same scales again, and her weight gain is not as poor as I feared.  I have also been reading a pamphlet by LLL about bf a reflux baby...  very interesting.

Thanks again! :D
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