lots of questions

[lele]

I’m not sure exactly where to start.  Dd is 4 ½ weeks old now and I know I need to start figuring things out or I am going to be dealing with a lot of accidental parenting that isn’t so accidental :oops: .  For the first 3 weeks she slept all the time day and night and basically just woke up for feedings.  I knew this would change eventually and my fears are starting to come true because now she is starting to want to sleep deeply during the day and be more wakeful at night.  How can I keep her awake during the day?  Any ideas?  Every time I put her down she seems to fall asleep and with a toddler in tow I can’t keep her entertained all the time. 

My next question has to do with cluster and dream feeding.  I kind of tried to do this last week but the problem is she will only eat when she wants to.  If it isn’t her idea I can’t get her to take anything (I am BFing).  So of course now she wants to eat more at night and not so much during the day.  Yesterday I tried to wake her and feed her more in the day time but she wasn’t really interested which just led to her wanting to eat more frequently all day and night, I assume because she never really took a whole feed.  I really want to be able to get a good EASY schedule going because with ds #1 I knew nothing and it was a disaster.  At 1 year he still wasn’t sleeping through.  But I’m not quite sure how to do it now, especially with two children.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Beata]

lele - I think a MOderator will give you more in depth answers, but it sounds like the lo is getting days and night mixed up...which is not unusual, but I am not sure how to fix...can anyone interject some advice here...

Generally dd still needs to eat often, and at night as well - maybe even 2 times (including DF), so I think if you can just have a general Eat, Activity (not too involved at that age - tummy time, interecting with you - see the Activity boards for more ideas), and Sleep routine, eventually you can stretch to 3 then 4 hours by 5 months or so. As far as sleeping through the night that means 6-8 hours at first then eventually once dd is older - 6 months - you can start to stretch that by a little every few days.

Cluster feeding just means more often, like in the evenings every hour or two. Even is she takes just a little or none , you need to be consistent in whatever you do to give dd the chance to know what is going to happen next. It's not an overnight process, and there will be bumps along the way but CONSISTENCY is definiely the key.

Also, give a DF a chance (a week or two), basically she'll be asleep, but might subconstiously (sp?) get the idea. But be consistent with that as well.

I hope I did not create more questions!!!

[HeatherC]

Oh, yes, days and nights getting mixed up.  What helped our dd come out of this was to have the blinds open throughout the house and carry on about our usuall activity.  I would have her nap in a bassinet in a different room for naps and bedtime.  It would take me an hour the first weeks to rouse her well enough to eat.  But I did it consistently and never let her sleep past a feeding.  It meant little time for myself as you well know, but her eating was very important.  I would take off her clothing down to a onesie, rub her feet, put a cool rag to her cheek, sit her up.  If she fell asleep feeding I would take her off the breast and sit her back up and rewake her with the above methods.  It would take up to 45 minutes - 1 hr to give her a good feeding b/c it does make them so sleepy.  Then after that, give her a diaper change and some time sitting upright or in a bouncy chair.  There won't be too much A time at this age.  If she gets used to a bit of awake time after feeding she'll recognize the difference in night and day hopefully.  My dd never woke at night for a feeding, but I woke her once until she was 8 weeks then stopped and she slept on through.  I stopped the df around 4 months I think (which I did at 10 pm but had to wake her as she wouldn't bf asleep).
HTH, keep us updated.

[Deb_in_oz]

Clare went trhough this with her lo and i hunted and found the thread where we worked through strategies to get lo to stay awake more to ensure good feeds and distinguish between night and day.   please have a read through and let me know if you have specific questions and we can try to help some more.

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/1-vt38364.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

[lele]

Thank you for reminding me of consistency.  Something I know i need to do of course but had been pushing to the back of my mind.  I have been going round and round trying to decide how i want things to go and what i want our routines to look like that i realize now I have been providing no consistency.  I need to decide, make a plan and stick to it.  I have to write it down, even if i never look at it again writing it down will help me stick to it.  Also something that Deb said in the posts to Clare was to follow your gut.  I think I am worrying too much about how long she should be awake and asleep and what not.  I need to focus more on getting to know her and her cues.  Now here is my next problem… how can I keep myself awake during the night feeds?!  I keep falling asleep feeding her at night, which leads to her sleeping in my arms for long periods of time.  I know that can lead to trouble.  I guess I am going to have to sit up right on the floor or something :lol: .  It is really kind of funny, but at the same time it can be a problem.  Anyone else had that problem?

[cassidy&Jamie'smom]

lele,
I read your post and felt like you were living my life these days.  My dd is 4 weeks old and we are also struggling with EASY and day/night confusion.   jamie sleeps so well and so deep during the day, and at nite I have such a hard time getting her down after a feed.

dd also eats 3-4 times at nite unlike alot of what I am reading on these boards.  She only takes about 2 ounces a feed and is probably only 7.5 pds now.

I am desperately wanting a good easy schedule.  I too have a 4yr old in need of mom.  I find it so hard to keep her up after a feed in the day. A diaper change is about all i can get.

I keep her in the living room, bright lights, noise... for daytime sleep.  And she is in her dark quiet room for night sleep. 

let me know how it goes for u and if anything works..

good luck!
sheri

[lele]

sheri-
Right back at you! :wink:   Lets keep each other posted on progress and what not.  Let me know if you get a good schedule going.  I am really going to try but probably not until next week with Christmas and all.  I really thought it was going to be so much easier to implement EASY this time around because in my mind I thought i knew exactly how it should go.  Well, having an older child has changed that :? .   Maybe we can start a Nov. Dec. chat sometime soon.  Good luck to you too!