23-month-old not napping for me

[sacmommy]

This is the same old story for me, but I'm frustrated again (more than my every day frustration), so can anyone provide me with sage advice, any good ideas or at least some sympathy?!

My dd will spend up to 2 hours in her crib playing and chatting and not napping. Sometimes I can go in and get her to sleep (nothing consisten), but it seems like more often than not she doesn't nap with me. HOWEVER, she does nap easily for others. My husband puts her down on weekends with no problems, and recently my mom was visiting and my dd went to sleep for her fairly easily.

At night, she usually goes down on her own, sometimes after a little chatting and sometimes I have to go in once or twice to settle her - but nothing like naps. I've made her room very dark for naps, so she can't see in there! She's just chatting away right now, and it's been an hr. She didn't nap Monday, finally fell asleep after 1.5 hrs yesterday after I changed a poopy diaper, and it looks like today will be a miss again.

HELP! I'm losing my mind. Sometimes I feel like it's ok to leave her there for 1.5 to 2 hrs, and then get her up. But then I worry she'll lose more and more sleep, forget how to nap, get sick, etc. Any thoughts?

[Carmela's Mom]

I totally know what your going through.  Carmela is only 20 months but I think give me a few more months and I'll be where your at.  If I remember correctly you started where I am, right? 

First of all, I think 2 is too young to stop napping so I think your doing the right thing, but try to be consistent.  Put her in at a certain time each day (same time) and keep at it for 2 hours.  If no nap for 2 hours, then no nap for the day and maybe an earlier bedtime, if needbe.  I really truly believe consistency is key.  At this age, I think the more they see us being upset over it, the more they try to skip their naps. 

I've heard that once they go a few days without napping, they either A) sleep later in the morning or B) go back to napping. 

Please keep me updated since like I said...I can see my going in to get my daughter to sleep coming to an end when it doesn't work anymore.

Today we only had a 40 minute nap as it is!  So I can totally relate!

Good luck

[sacmommy]

Thanks, Jackie. You're probably right about not letting her see me get frustrated. Depending on the day, I either 1) just leave her until she gets upset (usu 1+hrs), go in to soothe, then leave (she still doesn't usu nap), or 2) go in over and over to get her to lie down and try to be calm (these days NEVER works - she gets very happy and excited if I'm there).

The other thing is that she's on asthma medicine (Flovent, a steroid), so I may take her off again to see what the impact is - if she sleeps better, then I'll insist on another medicine from her doctor.

[Stacie:Emma&Josh Mom]

Just wanted to let you know that I'm right there with you.  I almost think dd has just figured out that although I can make her stay in her room, I can't make her nap.  And I guess that's fair, except that she still really needs it.  Oh well.  I agree with being consistent.  I'd either stop going in or go in each time.  You may be confusing her by going in sometimes and not other times.  With dd, we just decided to stop going in unless she comes to the door (she's in a twin bed) and then we go in, put her in bed, say it's time to sleep and she needs to stay in her bed and then leave again with little interaction.  We just started this last night cause she's been stalling bedtimes as well lately so I'll keep you posted.  Today she didn't nap, but she did stay in her room for 1 1/2 hours and I only had to go in once at the beginning to put her back in her bed when she was at the door.  I figure atleast she's getting some down time by herself.  We really can't make them sleep, but I do intend to set the stage for it and insist she stay in her room for a length of time and then of course no nap means an early bedtime.  Good luck!

[tylersmommy]

You're not alone...Tyler's been doing this for a couple of months now. He almost always naps like a dream for grandmas or babysitters, but me, not so much. If he's in there playing happily, I go in after about 45 min to tell him night night (in case he's forgotten what he's supposed to be doing) and sniff for a poopy diaper. That's it. If he falls asleep, great, if not he hangs out in there chatting for about 1.5 hrs. Then it's early to bed that night. I plan to keep doing quiet time as long as humanly possible!

[sacmommy]

Thanks, all of you. It's the usual case for me - mostly, it just really helps to have some reassurance that others experience the same thing, and feel more confident in my methods. If I could just reduce my naptime stress I'd be so much happier! I'm really trying to get to a place where it's ok for her to not nap and just have the time alone. But then after a day of no nap my doubts come back and I end up doing whatever possible to get her to sleep. Honestly, some days I think I'll just go back to work so someone else can deal with the naps! How pitiful is that?!

I'm back to feeling confident on just leaving her, nap or no nap. I've got dh home for 10 days now, so we now she'll nap til January

[Carmela's Mom]

Well Rose.  It's now 1:40 and I went in three times to try to get her to sleep to NO avail!!!!  I can't believe my little 20 month old is going through this so badly.  She only sleeps 10.5-11 hours at night and I just don't think that's enough, BUT some people are saying she'll sleep longer at night OR start napping again eventually.  But I think I'm giving up on going in there.  It just hasn't worked for two days.  Yesterday she fell asleep on her but only for 30 mins, then I tried to get her back to sleep and had no luck.  I can't believe she's not even 2 and giving up her naps.  The other thing I was thinking about trying is 11:30 nap again.  That seemed to work for a bit for you, right?

[Seona1973]

I am afraid I gave up trying to get dd to nap in her bed a few months ago and now she naps in her buggy or she goes to sleep in the car and I transfer her into the buggy when we get home again.  Might be a bad habit but at least she has a nap and I dont have to listen to screaming/shouting ,etc.  It hasnt affected her ability to get to sleep or settle herself during the night so thats good.

I work a couple of days a week and my mum has her and from the start she would go for a nap in her buggy while she was there.  I suppose its just what she has got used to now.

She wont have naps forever so its not a habit that will haunt us for many years to come.

Seona

[Stacie:Emma&Josh Mom]

I say to leave her be if she's okay with that.  You can't force her to sleep anyway.  How long are you waiting before going in to try to get her to sleep?  Could you just be stimulating her to stay awake and wait for you to come in again?  My dd has always been overstimulated by us being there and if we start the habit of going in to "help" her, then she just stays awake calling for us knowing we'll come in.  So we stopped going in and today she actually napped!  Now yesterday she didn't, but then she got an early bedtime.  Good luck!

[sacmommy]

So for myself I'm convinced I need to just not go in anymore - while other people (dh, my mom) are fine for her, I DO seem to overstimulate her - or at least she knows she gets to me

Jackie - when I'm having nap troubles, I definitely nap Karina earlier. I think 11:30 is just about right. That way, if she hangs out for an hour or more, she may actually go to sleep. If she goes down at 12:30 and plays for more than an hour, I know she won't sleep. It's just too late at 2 to go to sleep and she never does. So since you're having trouble now, I would move up her nap time (esp today since she didn't nap yesterday).

Seona - I napped my son (now 4) all the time in his stroller or the car, and then moved him to the bed, and it didn't affect his bedtime either. However, he did drop his nap early (by 3 almost completely). It did seem to affect his bedtime later (when we moved him to a big bed), which is why we just gave it up entriely. But hopefully that won't happen to you!

Stacie - Thanks! I think you're right. I'm going to try to not go in. I go through periods where I do go in and it works for awhile. Then it stops working, I panic, so we'll see if she gets back on track if I don't go in. You'd think she'd just get so tired she couldn't possibly stay awake, but it doesn't work that way!

[~*~Janelle~*~]

Not sure what to say, other than that for sure it could be her medication.  She's so young, and really needs her naps.
Both of my girls take their naps fairly late.  Abby (who is just over 2) will go for a 12:30 nap, no problem, but her sister who is 3.5+ needs hers later.  If I put Savannah down before 2:30, unless she's totally exhausted, she'll end up playing around and not napping.  If I put her down at 2:30-3pm, she'll go to sleep NO PROBLEM, and I just end up waking her around 4 so she doesn't stay up too late (they both go to bed just after .  A short nap is better than no nap at all, right?

[Ami ~ 3 girls' mom]

I'm finding late naps work better for us, too.  They go down about 2:00 and they don't protest as much and are happier when they get up.  It's amazing how much better our days go.

[sacmommy]

I'm fairly sure it's a combination of the medicine and me - my husband can put her down just fine (thank goodness he's home this week But I had an appt with my pediatrician today and she is completely convinced that flovent is the best and I'm mistaken about the sleep problems as a result. It's so frustrating!