What do you do when your 3+ year old is scared/has nightmare

[~*~Janelle~*~]

Savannah wakes up in the middle of the night to go potty, and every once in a while, she'll come to me 20 minutes later saying she's "scared", or she had a "bad dream".  I don't tend to believe her because I don't think she's actually fallen asleep by then, but I try to comfort her, turn on the light, if necessary, and I've recently put a flashlight under her pillow, so we can investigate any strange shadows.  Do your children play games, saying they're scared/had a bad dream, or do you think it's actually legitimate?

[Diego's Mama]

Legitimate here.  I think as you did with the flashlight, it's important to give them strategies/tools to cope with the fears.  For example, Diego was having nightmares about animals and would wake thinking they'd entered his room.  We made signs to hang on the front door saying "ANIMALS STAY OUTSIDE!!" and if he thought they were in his room at night I taught him to say, 'scram animals, you're not allowed in the house!!'.  It worked like a charm ... like he needed some power to overcome the fear.......... who knows.  But, I would 'solve' the problem.  He's developed a lot of confidence in dealing with scary things since having those nightmares.



What are her nightmares of?

[sacmommy]

I just deleted my long post by accident, so here goes again... (my first one was brilliant).

We've had this problem for quite awhile with our now 4-yr-old. Some months are fine, recently he's been up every night. There have been really bad times when we have to lay in the room with him for a long time to make him comfortable. But generally I try to just put him back in bed with reassurances.

And here's the other things we've done that do seem to help:
- dim nightlight
- stuffed animal tucked under his arm (very comforting)
- reassurances about no monsters, animals, etc. allowed in the house. We do this during the day during a bad period, as well as at night when he's scared if necessary.

I've stayed away from dream catchers, "monster sprays", etc. because my aim is to provide him with the very real idea that monsters don't exist and with tools to overcome his bad thoughts. We also sometimes tell him to do the ABCs, sing a favorite song, or count to 20, to try to help himself get back to sleep.

Whether it's a delay tactic or real nightmares/fears, I think it's important to recognize and acknowledge them for your child and provide as comforting environment as possible.

[mthyne]

This may sound strange, but are you religious?  I'm not out to Bible-thump or anything, but my 5-year old goes through the same thing at times (especially when Daddy's deployed).  Anyway, all the tactics suggested are great, we've done about all of them, but what stopped it and what settles her best is to tell her God is always with her and if she gets scared to say a little prayer.  She knows he's always awake to talk to (unlike grumpy Mommy  ).  So if your daughter knows she has someone watching out for her all the time (no matter what the religion), maybe that would help.
HTH
Melissa

[Aiden and Marlo's Mama]

We use "Good Dream Spray" which is a lavendar linen spray.  We don't use it ALL the time, but on days that may have been a bit stressful or whatever.  I believe Aiden because he's good at describing his bad dreams (just like dh) and even though some of them I find rather funny, they're scary to him:

Paraphrasing:
"I dreamed that a dinosaur came into my room, and he said he was a T-Rex.  So I said, Hi, T-Rex!  And then he tried to POOP ON MY HEAD!"

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[~*~Janelle~*~]

Lori *lol*, those darned dinosaurs, who do they think they are?!?!?!

Honestly, I think if she has bad dreams, they're very rare...I do honestly think that it's her way of trying to get out of going back to sleep...she's not irrational or anything.  If she was, that'd definitely be a different scenairo.

Melissa, yes, I'm a Christian...and we pray for good dreams every night before bed, and I tell her if she can't sleep, to pray.  And she knows that Jesus is with her...in fact, just yesterday she said, "I may have a hollow head, but I've got Jesus in my heart".  How precious is that?!?!?!

[mthyne]

That's a fantastic quote from your little one!  You should definitely write that down for her to read in the future!
Melissa