First off sorry your sweet one has reflux, we have it here, too. My son slept in his car seat until probably about 3.5 months. It was just kind of obvious that he wasn't comfortable in there any more. You would be surprised how many babies end up sleeping in the carseat. It is such a secure feeling for them - even if they are swaddled. For the few mommy's I have spoken to IRL who have done this, it was a pretty easy transition as well. For refluxers it is a dream come true because they can't get comfortable on their back to sleep as it aggrivates the reflux and if you don't feel comfortable tummy or side sleeping then the car seat it is! I always kept the car seat in his crib, though. I did transition DS to side sleeping with a sleep positioner. He has from day one had good head control and has always been able to move his head easily from side to side so although I was worried, I witnessed him turn his head while on his side or wiggled to his tummy on more than one occaision and he has no problem. Also his mattress is a hard as a rock! and no bumpers on the crib.
I think that for reflux babies you have to think about survival through this stage first and you almost have to deal with the accidental parenting later. I held DS for every nap for about a month and it just took a weekend to transition him to the crib for naps. It is amazing that if - at least for us - you cue in you can tell when they are ready. I seemed to have timed the taking away of the pacifier well also. Now I am not patting myself on the back, in general he is a horrible sleeper/napper. But a few things have gone easily. :roll:
I used a lot of techniques from Happiest Baby on the Block for the first 3 months. It uses a lot of props, but they helped tremendously. It wasn't a miracle - he didn't instantly fall asleep at the sight of his swaddle like the books claim could happen, but it really really helped us through some bad nights/naps.
I guess from one Mom of a refluxer who has been through it to another, give youself and your baby a break in these first 3 months or so. Maybe just a few things to start with like the eat - activity - sleep and keeping the carseat in the crib but that is it for your baby for now.
Hopefully there will be some others with thoughts on this for you. There is also a reflux forum here........
Meg