Nightwaking to be nursed - 17 mths old - sleeps in our bed

[pcspin]

I have a 17mth old who I am still breastfeeding and it has been great but I am ready to be done now! At night he goes down fine after a few oz of whole cows milk and we then put him down to his crib at night and he falls asleep on his own after fussing for just a minute or two. He goes down for his nap in his crib too without a problem. At night however he wakes up after a couple of hours to be nursed. At this time I am usually in bed myslef and have created my own problem I know as I bring him into our bed and he nurses and falls asleep as do I and then he wakes up 2 to 3 times sometimes just to be nursed and then falls asleep usally nursing in our bed. I am looking for advice on breaking this cycle. He is starting to ask for milk 2 to 3 times a day also. I know so much of this is jsut for comfort and when we are hugging he ends up asking for milk.
Breastfeeding really has been great - my first son was a preemie and bottlefed from my epxressed milk so for things to go like clockwork with my second son has been great but I am ready to get our bed back at night and have our son sleep through the night. Thanks so much for any help.

[alison reed]

Hi their

Your son is only 3 months older than my daughter and I am having the same thing with her.

What I have ended uo doing is sitting in the bottom of my sons bed to nurse her in her shared you. (would love to put her in her own room but we only have 2 bedrooms in our house at the moment untilo we finally get to transfer to a 3 bedroomed house) I nurse her until she is dozing of to sleep and then I take her of the breast or sometimes she does it herself and has a dummy which I then put her back in her cot with no fussing in the night.

For the day time nursings I have changed the tip of tops that I wore for a few months as she could get to my breast before and she learnt how to unclip my bra and get the boob out to nurse. I now leave her a cup or a sports bottle were she can see it and she goes for that instead of coming for the breast.

You do have to be harsh and refuse to give him the breast with in a month she did not ask for the breats due the day now she is about to turn 14 months I am going to work on getting her of the breast during the night by offering a drink of water in the night instead of the breast. It is a hard and long process but if you are 100% scertain that you are ready to give up the bfs then you should have him completely weaned with in a month. I have decided to do it steady and slow as I feel this is the best way for me and my daughter as she loves being breastfeed unlike my son as he gave up when he was 7 months as he refused to take the breast after then.

Keep us posted on how you do and their is also a forum for us extended bf mothers in this breastfeeding section. Check it is nice to see how main of us there are still bf past 1 year

[GraceKellysmom]

My 17 month old ds had started waking more often to be nursed again. I sent dh in to take care of him, and the nursings have stopped. Dh says that often he gets stuck in his crib slats or has a nightmare and just needs a snuggle. The nightwakings have significantly decreased since ds realizes I'm not coming to nurse him to sleep. That is just what worked for us, due to our situation.

It is tough just to say "I'm not going to nurse him at night anymore" but you have to decide what you really want. There isn't much middle ground here.

I agree with the sippy cup of water or milk during the day as an alternative to nursing. But I think that them starting to ask for nursing is about comfort, and it is a wonderful way to soothe them and help them learn to control their emotions.

Does your ds take a paci or suck his thumb?

[pcspin]

No he does not suck his thumb or take a paci now - he did for about 3months as a baby. I am unclear about something - do you think it is ok to continue to nurse for comfort only or should he be learning to self soothe now? My other son has a blankie but this one will only take me!!!! Thanks for your input - it is really appreciated.

[GraceKellysmom]

It depends on what you want too. Some moms are happy to continue to night nurse and nurse for comfort during the day, and some aren't. Either way is fine, as long as it works for you and your baby. They are only little for such a short time!

I started introing a cuddly when my kids were about 9 months old. It is wonderful to have that comfort item around. My ds loves his bear and he's been a thumb sucker since 8weeks. My dd has too many loveys to mention and she was a paci girl until she started sucking her thumb at age 2.  :roll:  I really like it that they can soothe themselves, they can make themselves feel better, and still get a hug/kiss from me.

[annamum]

I agree with Stacy that the best way is to enlist your husband's help for nightwakings. Your child can smell the smell of milk and expects from you to be put to sleep only by being nursed. Let your husband invent his way of putting him to sleep. He may hug or snuggle your little boy. Lovey can be introduced while you are nursing him, just have it always with you when you nurse, he will learn to like it, and later you can gradually replace yourself with a lovey.

As for your question if it is OK to nurse for comfort, I can say that it really depends on you and your family situation. My opinion is that toddlers generally nurse for comfort rather than food, although, milk still plays a big part of their diet. I admit, I do nurse for comfort my Anna, she is now 23 months old and she tells me she loves my boobs :lol:.

[Lilah'sMommy]

Like Monika said, toddler nursing is mainly about nursing for comfort.  But it also happens to be good for them!

We night-weaned at 9 months and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  However, I felt that to be a good mom to my dd I needed some more, uninterrupted sleep!  We started off with dh going in to resettle her.  She quickly got used to the new "rules" (though it didn't seem quick at the time, and I will warn you that you will get less sleep than you did before at the beginning of the process).  I had stopped nursing her in my bed around 5 months or so, so she already knew she would go back to her crib.  This would be the first place to start for you.  Once you've got your ds going back to his crib, he may start waking less often to nurse.  Or he might not.  Then you'll need to start slowly cutting out a feed at a time, and have dh go in and use "alternate soothing techniques" (rocking, etc., whatever works).  After we were down to just one night waking, we used PU/PD to get dd back to sleep.  Now she sleeps through every night, barring teething/illness/discomfort.  And we still nurse twice a day.  If I still had to get up 2-3 times a night, I think I would have weaned at a year.  But as it stands, dd and I love nursing, she shows no signs of quitting, and I still get to sleep!

Good luck!  Having gone through this, I know how tough it can be.  Come back here anytime for help.

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

I was in the same boat as you and am (almost!) done with bringing her to bed to nurse (we still do it if she wakes after about 4:30am, I have to admit :oops: ).  But for the rest of the night, just like the other posts said, it made a HUGE difference to have DH help.  At this age too, they understand better when you say no.  In the daytime, I tend to offer cuddles and snuggles for comfort and not the breast, but I think that's a personal decision.  What is self-soothing really anyway?  When I get upset, I'd much rather hug a real live person than a pillow or stuffed bear, myself!  :wink: But being able to put yourself back to sleep is a different story.  To really cut down on nightwakings, your lo needs to know that he CAN go back to sleep himself, and doesn't need to be nursed to sleep. He might just need to be reminded by Mom or Dad of this fact...over and over until he gets it!

[alison reed]

My daughter is still waking in the night but she has now started to cluster feed for her bedtime feed and for the past 2 nights she has slept through but she has been going to bed later because of her cluster feeding.

Any advice on what I could do with her or should I just leave her as it is with her sleeping through the night? Hopefully I havn't jinkst tonight with posting this with last night only being the second night she has slept through.

[GraceKellysmom]

Alison, both my kids started sleeping much better around 13-14 months. Seemed to coincide with teething being done and walking had been learned. Max even dropped his before-bed nursing around 14-15 months and continued to sleep through, he got enough calories at dinner.

HTH and just be thankful each morning!