starting pu/pd with a four month old

[cazza92]

Hello my little one has started waking i the night and taking ages to get back to sleep. She seems so happy during the day but struggles and fights when it come sleeping. sometimes she settles well then wakes up two hours later sometimes out of hunger sometimes not. I feel i need to do pu/pd but am unsure so were to start. I have read the technique in her books and watched her do it older childern in her tv programes but my child seems very spirited and needs cuddling to settle her at night. The basic principle is that you put them down awake and pick them up when they cry? need to understand this fully as i will need to explain it to my husbund who seems to question everything and who thinks rocking a child to sleep is ok!!!!! (i soon stopped him doing this but trying to expain accidental parenting was hard as he feels i read too many book and should let our child do her own thing)
Any info/help would be great. She is currently on the easy routine but sometimes her naps are not very long.

[KellyC]

Hi Cazza

My DS is 4 months today and we started sleep training at 12 weeks.  We started with pat/shush but this seems to have evolved into PU/PD as Zander has learnt to self-soothe.

This is what I do (I say 'I' because DH doesn't have the will or determination to do this - a bit like your DH he's quite happy to 'go with the flow'.  Unfortunately I'm slightly obsessed with BW but with good reason as it's worked great for Zander!).

Zander sleeps on his side and likes to suck his fingers.  So I say 'you're going to sleep now, see you when you wake up' and help him get his fingers in his mouth and lay him on his side.  If he goes straight to sleep or is calm then I leave the room.  If he starts to cry (and I mean cry like he needs help rather than fuss or cry like he's settling) the I pick him up and hold him vertically and say 'it's only sleep, you're frustrated because you're tired, mummy's here to help, it's sleepy time Zander' etc. etc. over and over again.  (This helps to keep things in perspective for me too - when I was doing pat/shush I'd often be crying at the same time!).  When he calms down or starts fighting against me by arching his back or kicking his legs or headbutting me (!) or after a couple of minutes I start again with 'you're going to sleep now' and lay him down again in the same way.  If he still cries then I repeat the process but what I find is that all of a sudden just when I think he'll never stop screaming I put him down and he goes out like a light and it's all over!

Because we started with pat/shush and Zander knows how to sleep independently PU/PD is usually pretty painless for us.  He's just woken early from his first nap this morning and it took me 20 minutes to get him back to sleep.  I imagine if your LO is used to something different it may take longer and be more difficult to begin with (she may also regress just when you think you're getting there).  It really does work though if this is what you decide to do.

If I can help anymore feel free to come back or PM me.

Kelly x

[Carolyn R]

Hi Cazza92,

My biggest problem with doing pu/pd was figuring out when my boy was actually crying versus what Tracey calls "mantra cry". 

I was confusing the real cry for the tired settling cry because my husband and I never let him cry for more than a minute. 

Now I am starting to know the "I need you to help settle me" cry, the PU/PD works very well.

Also, put baby down the second you hear breathing relaxing or your baby settling. You don't want to hold baby too long and have "accidental parenting" happening. Then begin shush/pat if baby isn't settled.

My boy is 4 months and EASY and pu/pd is working well.  The first day or 2 he cried for the entire nap time, but each nap is getting better!

Good Luck!

[lwwho]

Hi. Sorry to hijack the thread. I have been doing pat/shush and moved to PU/PD for my now 4mth old gal since she was 9 wks. I have to ask: why is it she still cries before EVERY nap time? It takes a minimum of 20min to put her to sleep. Is it normal for babies to cry at every sleep time? It's very distressing and it feels like I"m doing something wrong. Another question is: is PU/PD only for babies who can self-soothe? My dd likes to suck on her hands but as her hand falls out of her mouth as she goes off to sleep, she wakes and cries. Also, her jolts really wake her. I've let her have one hand out of the swaddle since she's been so insistent. Finally, how do you prevent their leg slamming business? She kicks off all her covers and her little legs really flail around. No swaddle has every been on for more than an hour. Any tips will be greatly appreciated.