I'm new! Please help!

[Rebecca P]

I have a 14 week old baby girl.  I have read Tracy's book and it has really helped in a lot of areas, especially night time.  My husband and I were using a lot of props and were  putting her down too late at night.  I have been using the techniques in the book for two weeks now, but still struggling with naps.  I start the wind down when she gets tired (generally about 1 1/2 hours since last sleep), and she will fall asleep usually fairly quickly, but gets upset and cries.  It is the nasty sleep cycle that I CANNOT get through.  We have tried being in her room when she stirs and immediately soothing her to go back to sleep (it has worked twice).  But more often than not she will scream for the rest of the nap time (or go back to sleep for 3-5 minutes and wake again).  I know she is upset at being swaddled.  We just started swaddling her a week ago because her hands were keeping her awake (twitching, scratching her face, gagging herself).  And she fights against the swaddle a great deal.  However, at night, it works great.... she sleeps around 10-11 hours a night.    I'm very confused about what to do.  I don't want to give up, but getting really tired and frustrated... any thoughts?? Thank you!

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello, welcome to the boards, and congratulations on your little girl

Firstly, well done on how far you have got already, your lo is still so young, so to be sorting out sleeping problems already is quite an achievement !

The first thing that jumped out at me from your post is, how did you arrive at 1 1/2 hours A time? It strikes me as a little long for her age, and perhaps the upset at naptime is overtiredness. Perhaps you could start the winddown a little sooner, so that, by the time she gets tired, you are at the cot going in, rather than just starting the winddown.

Also, has she learnt yet to soothe herself through her 10 min (or often 20/30 min) jolt? Once she has fallen asleep in her cot, it's best if you stay with her for another 20 mins or so after she seems to have gone to sleep. Try it, and if you leave your hand on her back gently, you'll probably feel her 'jolt' after 10-20mins. You being there may help her through her transition, or you may have to sssh a bit more. If you do this for a few days (yes, it's really boring and time consuming   :roll:  ), she should learn to go through this sleep transition on her own, and you shouldn't have to do it again.

Have you read the Announcements at the top of this forum? There are a couple there that could really help, I think, especially the sleep interview, and teaching sleep to newborns and infants. Let us know if you have any questions about them.

Also, would it be possible if you could post a little of her routine? Perhaps there may be something in there we could help 'tweak' to see if we could help.

HTH

[Rebecca P]

Thank you for your quick reply!  I generally stay with Taylor until she is in a deeper sleep.  She will then sleep for the usual 30-35 minutes and wake up.  I am there when she wakes up, and I try to soothe her right away.  The only thing I have not yet attempted is the "wake to sleep" method.  I was going to try today, but she woke up early (of course!) before I had a chance to go in her room! I have also thought about getting her up after this short nap, letting her have more A time and then putting her down again.  However, the thought of trying to get her to sleep several more times a day makes ME exhausted!  And I also would really like to keep her on a routine.  Speaking of routine, here is a typical day for us.
Wake- anywhere from 5:45-7:00am.  Before 7:00am I will try to put her back to sleep.
Between 7-7:30am- Feed
Activity time after feed
Generally sometime between 8:20-8:45 am we do wind down and put her down for a nap.  (Then the fun begins!)
She will sleep for 30 minutes.  We then try to get her back to sleep.  We rub her belly and sshh.  We also do p/u p/d if necessary.  And lately, more often than not, it will take 45min to an hour to get her back to sleep,or she won't go back at all.
11:00am- Eat (she's on the four hour schedule)
A time
Anywhere from 12:15ish to 12:40ish (depending when we see she's tired)- wind down for nap
Same issues with afternoon nap
3:00pm- Eat
A
Somewhere between 4:45-5:00pm- cat nap (although she was screaming so much she didn't get one today!)
7:00pm- Eat
Bath, wind down and to bed for night (we hope!!)
10:30-11:00pm- Dream feed

So..... that 's her schedule, so to speak.  Obviously it's not always that consistent, but we're trying to keep her on track as much as possible. I don't really know if there are any answers to the nap problems right now.  We may just have to ride it out.  I will keep trying, I just enjoy reading the posts, and thought I would throw my issues into the pot!
I was also wondering if anyone else reading this swaddles their baby, and how old is too old to continue to do this.  She has definately found her hands... but they are a menace when she's trying to get to sleep.
Sorry this is so long, and thank you for letting me vent, and ramble!
  Becky

[Taylor's Mommy]

Hi Becky!  COngrats on Taylor (great name BTW!)

The first thing I notice with the routine is that it appears she is up for about 3 hours assuming she always wakes up early from her nap?  That is probably a bit too long for such a young lo.

Also, since you are staying with her until she is in deep sleep, am I right in assuming that she has not really learned to fall asleep independently yet?  And don't take that as being bad, since she is still only 14 weeks.  I found that Taylor was finally able to get psat the 45 minute naps when she could fall asleep on her own, therefore able to make it past the 45 minute jolt on her own. 

Sorry to be so short, but Taylor needs me...will try to come back and post more because I have a couple more thoughts....

[Rebecca P]

Hi again!  It's true that sometimes she is up longer because she wakes up early from her nap. But we don't get her up at that time and keep her up until the next feed.   We keep trying p/u p/d  until a bit before we need to get her up for her next feed.  So, for example,  let's say she falls asleep at 8:40am for her nap (she woke up at 7:00am, and we started wind down at 8:15am).  She will then wake up approx 30-35 minutes later.  We will try to get her back to sleep.  It will take about another 20-25 minutes to get her back to sleep, and she will sleep for another 20-25 minutes and then wake up again!  So back up I go to try to get her down again, because she needs more sleep than that or she will be grumpy. 

 Sometimes it is so confusing.  I try to go by the book, and then I read the posts and see that people do things differently. (ie take child out of crib for a little A time and then put them down again).   I know... every baby is different.  But how long do I continue to do this at nap time?  If I persevere, will it eventually work, or will it never work until she learns to fall asleep on her own??  And how do I teach her to do that?  We do the wind down, but as soon as she realizes what is going on and that she is going to bed soon (smart little one!!), she starts to cry and fuss.  She will NOT sit quietly with me swaddled for some down time.  Basically I do the wind down/quiet time before I bring her upstairs because she is onto us!
I'm sorry... I'm all over the map with my questions!  I'm just frustrated and confused.  I don't mind doing this with her (basically being in her room for the entire nap period!!), but there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, doesn't there?
Thanks again for allowing me to vent!! :oops: