Separation Anxiety?

[Lucysmom]

Hi -

I have to make this quick as dd is fussing...  DD is 7 months old and has started (yesterday and today) to cry like I have never heard her cry when she is put to bed or held by me before she is put in bed.  She knows how to fall asleep independently (since 4 months old).  I had gotten into a bit of a bad habit of rocking her until she got really relaxed and then putting her down but there were still times when I would just lay her down and leave the room and she would go to sleep.  So I don't know if that is the problem.  I had dh look at her ears (he is an ENT doctor) and they are fine.  I gave her tylenol.  No signs of teeth.  When she is awake she acts fine and does not care if I leave the room (during the day).  So she has started crying and screaming until she is all sweaty and worked up.  I have been going in to reassure her and she calms down, but the moment I turn to leave she gets upset again.  I just laid in her crib for a while and she calmed down completely and seemed to be asleep but once I got up she woke up and immediately started crying.  I don't know what to do.  This is a baby who NEVER usually cries.  I mean NEVER.  Right now she is moaning upstairs, not crying full on.  I need help big time so please if anyone checks this tonight and has an idea please post!!!!  I am thinking I may just bring her in to bed with me tonight as I don't know what to do and don't want to damage her by leaving her.  I never did pu/pd with her and pat/shush worked for a bit and then stopped.  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HELP!!!!!!!!!

[Tonya]

We meet again!!! :wink:

Ok, well - admittedly( :oops: ) I sucked at the whole sleep thing with an infant, as I didn't find this site until it was too late for infant sleeping!!

BUT - someone suggested that Nate's sudden different cries could be a fear - shadows, dark, whatever.
So, I put in a nightlight (and he had never used one before) and that helped for weeks.  Then the nightwakings happened again.  When I would go in, he was staring and screaming at a specific place in his room - a shadow!  I adjusted the nightlight.
Good as gold for MONTHS.  Then, nightwakings (of course, all of these were the nightwakings that were NOT connected to illness or teething - just out of the blue).  Laid in his bed with him one night, looked over, and the mirror on his dresser looked SCARY.  Covered it with a blanket.  Nightwakings, gone.  (again, the one's that were for reason's other than teething and illness, and now, nightmares :cry: )

So many other mother's I know also swear by the Fisher Price aquarium thingee - didn't work at all for us, but it was very soothing to other's LO's.

Separation anxiety could be happening.  As for what to do?  Not totally sure - we never went through it badly here, but what about just softly speaking to her when you go in to pat/shhh - "mommy's here...it's all right...i love you....go to sleep...you can do it..." type of thing?

Hope you get some other great answers!!

[mommytsa]

Mine's doing too.  Sucks, huh?

 

just softly speaking to her when you go in to pat/shhh - "mommy's here...it's all right...i love you....go to sleep...you can do it..." type of thing?

This is what I've been doing for the past 3 days, and today has been drastically better.  I'm hoping that it continues to improve and I have my good sleeper back.  I also started a post about this, and got some decent advice there.  Here's a link.
http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/separation-anxiety-help-please-vt49174.html


I hope your able to find a solution that works for you that doesn't mean bringing her into your bed (not that I think co-sleeping is bad, just not what it sounds like you really want to do).

Hang in there!  We'll figure it out.

[Lucysmom]

Thanks Tonya and Theresa!

Yup, it is 2 AM here and I am up because I can't stop worrying about Lucy!  Since I did not know what to do, I just brought her into the guest bed with me and she is still sleeping there.  I got the sense that nothing was going to work except bringing her in to bed.

Anyhow, I read through all of the posts and even though sep. anxiety stinks, I am glad to know that this is what I am dealing with.  I will have to see what approach works for her.  And I will really work on giving her lots of attention during the day.  Her daytime behavior has not really changed but I am willing to try anything to help her get over this.

I knew I could count on this site to help me through this!!   What would I ever do without it???!  THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!

[Lucysmom]

So I transferred her to her crib after I finished posting here and I don't think she really woke up fully but she did half cry for a moment but I reassured her with my voice and rubbing her tummy.  When she woke up this morning she did not cry out immediately but I went to her immediately as I wanted her to know I was there.  She seems a bit depressed or something.  Not as smiley.  I think I may have inadvertantly broken the trust she had in me simply by my waffling about what to do last night.   :cry:  :cry:  :cry: When she went down for her first nap today I sat next to her crib and she did not cry - just rolled around, shouted (in fun), and then settled down to stare at me and then go to sleep.  I just hope she does not freak out when she wakes up and I am not there.   This is HARD!!!!  What is strange is that I have not noticed any other signs of separation anxiety.  She is not clingy and she does not need to see me all the time. 

Anyway, I think I will lay down as well as I barely slept last night.  Thanks again for coming to my rescue ladies!  You're the best!