HELP!!! Settles down fine... but won't let me leave!!!

[Johno & Aurelias Mum]

Libby's Mum

What does the rest of your day look like, do you think Libby's ready for a change in routine which means she's not tired enough at bedtime and that's why she can chat to herself for hours?

[Libby's Mom]

Jenny - this sounds pretty good.  It sounds similar to what I have been doing, only right now I have to leave my hand on her till she's asleep & then back out (it's a very creaky floor, too!) & not so much shhhing.  I will see if I can make some version of this work tonight.  I am still working on A PLAN so that I can be consistent at every sleep time.

Thanks for the details,

[Libby's Mom]

Regarding the rest of her day (I seem to be off by one posting here...)

She's very tired when I put her down for the night - calm, rubbing eyes, sometimes yawning during bedtime stories - if I force her to sleep (put both hands on her,  keep her from roaming, etc., she sometimes settles nicely, but after a breather, starts all over again.  Anyway, here's what our day is usually like:
6:30 - she usually wakes, complains a bit, my rule is we don't get up till 7:00
7:00 - up & bf, active play
8:15 - breakfast, short calm play (now she eats with fingers, takes a long time to eat! not so much time for play)
9:15/9:30 - sleep routine (books, lullabies, etc.) & nap
11:00/11:15 - wake & bf, active play
12:15/12:30 - lunch, short calm play
1:30/2:00 - sleep routine & nap
3:00/3:15 - wake & bf, active play
5:00 - dinner
6:15 - bath & sleep routine
7:00 - should be sleeping like an angel!!!
7:00 to 9:00 - exasperate Mama by rolling around & playing till Mama LOSES IT!!!

Actually, it's 3:15 now & I have to go wake her.  See, often she would keep sleeping if I let her, but I have to wake her or the bf is too close to a meal & she won't be hungry.  The fact that I have to wake her says to me that she's not getting too much sleep.  Am I wrong?

[Libby's Mom]

Actually, come to think of it, she sometimes sleeps 2:00 till 4:00 in the p.m., then dinner is around 5:15 or 5:30, & she generally goes into bath & bed routine directly afterward.  Could that be a problem?

Also, I'm low on calm ways for her to play.  Even if I just give her a plain toy (no noise, fancy colours, or moving parts), she still tends to wave her arms & kick her feet & shriek a bit - I try to avoid this kind of wind up before sleep, but I'm finding that increasingly difficult to do.  Any ideas there?  Books are out of the questions, as we go through all her books at least once in a day as part of the pre-sleep (naps & bedtime).

[Libby's Mom]

LOOK AT ME!!!  LOOK AT ME!!!

Baby is asleep already!!!  I was prepared to pull out all the tricks, per the advice you all had been giving me & I put dd down, went for the door, one cry at me as I was going through the door, I closed it behind me & took my clunky shoes off preparing to go back in quietly and...

NOTHING!

A bit of chatter, some mantra cries & she's asleep in less than 5 minutes!  WHOO-HOO!!!

Okokokok... shouldn't get too excited, it's probably just a "one-of" thing, right?  She was really tired, we did a verrrrry sllllowww paced wind down, & I worked hard today instilling her trust on naps 1 & 2 (sigh).  Even if it's just a fluke...

I get to eat supper before 10:00 tonight - YAY!!!

I still have a quasi plan in place to ween dd off falling a sleep under my hand & slowly making it out the door - sort of a combo platter of the techniques you've described - as I'm sure I'll need it tomorrow.  At least I'm feeling some confidence now - there IS hope!

Could still use some suggestions on what to do for calm play.  Anyone?

Thank you, All

[Beata]

I use a lot more verbal communication with him now because he understands exactly what I'm saying and he understands consequences better.

Johnosmom - I have to chuckle...just wondering what ARE the consequences in the doesn't want to sleep situation?

Thanks for the advice! I do exactly what you do with putting her down, leaving the room, and she stands, etc. Then eventually just a hand ... but it's still at the point when I back away, she goes to get up. Sometimes I let her get up, others I stop her and put her back down.

Libby's Mom - I don't have that book, so if you have a few minutes (LOL)  :lol: could you give me the basics. Thanks! You can pm me.

Maybe your lo doesn't get enough awake time between the second nap and bed? It's tough though because I for one enjoy eary to bed, early to rise, but you might start messing with her wake up time if you move bedtime later. I don't know if she would be used to this, but I feed dd dinner, then I let her play for a good while in her room (where there are many toys and she grabs what she wants) then her bedtime routine, starting with bath. I find that no matter how she plays (high energy or not) the bath cues her into calming down immediately. On that note...what do you have to lose if Libby is still playing in her crib for 2 hours  :wink:

[Libby's Mom]

Beata;

I wouldn't mind the playing at bedtime if I didn't have to be present for it... she cries if I leave.  EXCEPT TONIGHT!  (See my previous post.)

I will definately pm you, but maybe tomorrow, as tonight I get to eat my dinner while it's still hot!!  YAY!

Thanks,

[Paulsmama]

Calm play -- we have "quiet time" before 9.5 mo DS's bath at the time his catnap used to happen.  We lie on a bed with the lights turned low, soothing music playing (lullabies from around the world), and I let him explore one household object at a time.  Eyeglass case, remote control with no batteries, blood pressure monitor and case, mesh bag with plastic toggle, water bottle with a little bit of water in it, etc.  He'll lie on his back for a few minutes checking out each one and I can usually get 20-25 min of rest time for him this way.  If he starts getting fussy we go read a book -- luckily we got a bunch of new ones for Christmas!