how to keep going???

[lwwho]

Hi.I just have to unburden. I am an abject failure with this baby whispering. I have been trying to do EASY, pat/shush, PU/PD for the past 2 months and I am getting no where. My LO is 4 months now. Each and every nap time is such a struggle. She doesn't cry any other time except when it's time for her to sleep. What am I doing wrong? She has no props... no paci... she has never been walked/rocked to sleep. She just can't go to sleep without a fight. And those wretched 45 min naps will be the death of me. I've done wake to sleep for more than a month now. I used to be able to put her back to sleep, but now it just isn't working. I don't think I can keep this up anymore. My back is breaking, I spend more time in the darkened room crouched over her cot shushing till my teeth hurt. I have no more Y time.... not that there ever was much. Sorry, my head hurts from the frustration of it all. I would've thought that 2 months is long enough.

[tmbush00]

Let you and your baby take a break from pu/pd.  I'm on my second nighttime screamer.  It took me 9 mos to get my first dd to consistently put herself down to sleep and make it through the night, and I followed all the rules.  (Don't fret, she would get it for a few weeks at a time but suffered relapses from reflux and frequent ear infections).  Looking back I was a dissheveled, incoherent wreck!!  With screamer and refluxer number 2, I have become a lot more laid back.  Sure it goes against everything in the books, but when I learned to cheat and rock my dd calm I ended up catching up on sleep, got more patience, and my ears and jaws stopped hurting from grinding my teeth so much!  Besides me, everyone in the house enjoys the little respites to catch up.  Each time we start back, she gets quicker at catching on.  We do this a lot since she get frequent ear infections too!

[jchang]

It really gets easier.  We started when dd was 3-4 months.  There were many ups & downs.  Luckily, enough ups to compensate for the downs.  She would initially fight it by crying.  But now, I can just put her in her crib & leave the room.  It literally takes a second.  Her naps are the longest they've ever been now - 1.5 hours on the average.  They used to range anywhere from 45 min - 1.5 hours.  So even the length would change.

I found with dd that I'd have to pat/shh for so long my mouth got tired.  So instead, I would just lay my hand on her tummy so she knew I was there.  She would continue to cry but eventually she'd calm down.  I remember the first time we did that, it took her 45 minutes to go to sleep.  It got easier each time after that.

Hang in there.  It's worth it.

[lwwho]

Hi. Thanks so much for replying. BW really is hard work. Glad to know that I'm not alone. This website has really helped. Y'know, I never thought motherhood would involve so much tears and frustration. Really needed to vent. At least now I feel I can give it another go.... for the next 6mths?!  I guess I just have to accept the ups and downs. After all, she's only a baby. Thanks again for your support.

[Luke-n-Me]

I'm right there with you.  I've done these techniques from day 1 and DD is now 4 mos. and things really are no better.  I tried all of this with DS too and the techniques never really worked for him either.  Fortunately, with him he just started napping better between 3.5/4 mos.  She actually seems to have hit 4 mos. and gotten worse.  I totally gave up on the sleep techniques because I was driving myself mad, now I just get her up and sometimes just have to let her fuss a bit.  Sometimes I feel like I just rewarded her early wake-ups all those months with pu/pd and pat/shh.......I don't know.  It's hard work for certain, but for the sake of your sanity, just try to roll with the naps and hope that she your lo outgrows them soon!!  Good luck!!!