6 months old waking every hour during night..still!

[mims1972]

Hello,
I am writing this message on behalf of my friend who is a single mom and desperate for some sleep. Her six month old is still waking every hour during the night.. for a little snack on the breast just to fall back asleep on her... and back to her crib. This starts all over again in an hour. I know that this is a very bad habit and it probably does not help that the baby slept with her for the first few months as well. I wonder if the pick up / put down technique is the best option for her. I am willing to go spend a weekend with her to try any technique necessary to try to get things back on track for her.
Thanks

[FrasersMum]

Hi mims1972

I think the first thing you need to look at is how does the baby go to sleep?  Does the LO fall alseep independently?  When did the LO move out of your friend's bed, at what age?  Has the sleeping been disrupted like this ever since?

What is the baby's day time routine like?  Is there regular naps and regular feed times? 

Embarking on PUPD to help with night wakings is a big undertaking and it's probably a good idea to make sure that the days have a bit of consistency so you can be confident that things like hunger are not a true cause of the night wakings.  Does the LO snack hourly during the day as well? 

Perhaps you could find out some more info from your friend and let us know so we can help you to come up with a plan

Cheers
Jo

[mims1972]

Well.. I asked my friend to answer your questions.. and I realize that we have a lot of work to do!! Here goes..

he baby doesn't snack every hour during the day. She eats her three meals +
breastfeed before meals. When she breastfeed during the day, she doesn't
drink more than 5 minutes.

She has been sleeping beside my bed since she was born. Everytime she cries,
I pick her up and feed her (I never wanted to disturb the other members in
the house). Now, I realize that she has taken an habit from it and that she
is probably not really hungry. She only drinks a few minutes and fall back
asleep. I am pretty sure it's only a caprice now. Last night, I tried to let
her cry, she cried for 30 minutes....... poor little girl. I picked her up
and tried to calm her down. No result! I finally gave her a suter (suce) and
she stopped crying. I held her for another few minutes before putting her
back into her bed.

The baby doesn't go to sleep by herself. I give her a bottle (the only one
of the day) at night and hold her until she sleeps. Then, I bring her in her
bed in my room.

She doesn't have much routine during the day except for her meals (solid). I
have been pretty disturbed the past few months and had to move 3
times.............. so she doesn't nap at the same time everyday. Now that I
am settling a little......... I will try to put her to bed on a regular
schedule.

Thanks for helping out,

[FrasersMum]

I realize that we have a lot of work to do!!

You said it!!  :lol:

I really think that before you try and tackle the night issues you should have a look at getting the LO onto EASY during the day. 

That is because, at the moment, day feeds are random and naps are erratic - meaning that I guess you can't be certain that overtiredness/too much day sleep/hunger etc aren't the causes of the night wakings.  If you can eliminate those concerns you can start to embark on addressing night wakings.  Without a good, regular EASY routine in place during the day, it could take A LOT longer to achieve results at night. 

Do you have a copy of either of Tracy's book's?  They are a great place to start.  Otherwise, you could have a look at the EASY board on this website.  The girls there would be able to give you some great advice about helping this LO on to a routine.  There are also sample routines for a 6 month old that you will find at the top of the EASY board which will give your friend an idea of what other babies the same age are doing during the day feeding wise and sleeping wise.

I think that the other thing that your friend can start to work on is getting the LO to start to fall asleep independently.  To do that, your friend should start putting her LO into bed before the LO has fallen asleep.  She can use pat/shh to help settle the baby and PU/PD if necessary (there is a board devoted to PU/PD as well if you need additional support in that area).  The ability to fall asleep independently, and to resettle herself during the night, is a really, really important part of addressing night waking issues.

The last thing I would add would be to try and explain to your friend that Tracy believed leaving a baby to cry breaks the bonds of trust between parent and child, and will not help trying to teach the LO to learn how to sleep.  I would suggest you recommend that, even though nights will still be rough for a while, as you are getting the baby onto an EASY routine and starting to teach the LO to fall asleep independently, she not leave her LO to cry.  Instead, she should always respond to her DD, by using methods like pat/shh, replacing the paci and if necessary PU/PD to help the LO back to sleep.

So does that make sense?  Have a look at the daytime first, and once we get some of those issues ironed out we can start to have a closer look at addressing the night wakings.  Pop over to the EASY board for some ideas.

HTH, let us know how you get on.

Cheers
Jo

[mims1972]

Thanks for all the advice! I think what you have said makes a lot of sense. And yes.. I have both of Tracy's books and will give them to her this weekend so that she can start looking at her techniques and especially the EASY method to start. I have giving her an example of a routine .. the one I had at six months with my little boy Finnigan (who is 9 months old now and has been on EASY since almost the beginning .. so great to have a routine.. soo easy.. and he sleeps 12-14 hour nights!). 
Thanks for your time and I will let you know how it goes..knowing that it might take some time.. but I am sure she and her little girl will be sooo much happier. :-)
Mireille