Will only feed after activity time

[illya mignon]

Help! We have never been able to be on EASY, because 14 week old illy never wants to eat after waking. We're on AESY, because I've given up...and she won't sleep on a empty stomach. How do I get her to eat after she's woken from a nap? Even in the morning...she'll feed at 6am and then go back to sleep....when she wakes up at 8am-9am, she never wants any milk. And so the day goes on with her only feeding right before she goes to sleep. We're also having problems with her only napping for 30- 45 minutes. Do you think that these two problems are related?
She sleeps a little better at night...she wakes up many times crying...but I think those are nightmares...because her eyes remain shut most of the time. I dream feed her at 11:30pm, and she may wake up for a moment once in a while at 4:30-5:30am...but she officially wakes me up at 6am for a feed.
I am so tired,and I don't know where to start or how to start.
Please help....
illy's mom

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

. And so the day goes on with her only feeding right before she goes to sleep. We're also having problems with her only napping for 30- 45 minutes. Do you think that these two problems are related?

Yes.  I think she's having a hard time learning how to put herself to sleep and especially how to put herself BACK to sleep, particularly for naps. If she's waking at 30-45 min, it's after one sleep cycle, and she's not getting back down herself for the really restorative sleep.

What you might try is to have some activity time between eating and sleeping - even if it's just 10 min.  As long as she's not completely asleep when she's done nursing - you can do this gradually. It would end up being more like AEASY, with shorter A's around the E. She also might not be wanting any milk at 8 or 9 because she ate so much at 6am.  I'm not sure what to suggest about that.  14 weeks might be too young to try and abolish the 6 am feed and just aim to start the day after the 8 am feed...

[GraceKellysmom]

Yes, the short naps and eating prior to sleep can be related, if your dd feeds TO sleep. Some babies do just fine on AESY or AEASY. I think the sleep problems that you are describing are very normal for her age. Have you looked at our sleep boards to find suggestions on getting a longer nap?

My dd was like yours, waking several times at night to cry, sometimes needing help back to sleep but sometimes she managed off on her own. It is hard to know when to go to them and when to let them work it out. Children don't start having nightmares until after 12 months old, according to my pediatrician, although both my kids cried and laughed in their sleep from infancy.

If you do need to get onto more of an EASY cycle, you could try the AEASY. Feed her a little earlier than normal and then keep her up a bit after nursing. Each time keep her up a minute or two longer, until you get the cycle to where it works for both of you and sleep isn't dependent on the breast. And as always with any change, be patient with each other, it takes time to figure out what works.

[illya mignon]

Thank you moms, for all the good advice. Yesterday, we tried the wake/sleep method for all the naps. Boy was that tough! We did manage to avoid the full feeding at bedtime ( i don't know how, it just happened) but at the 45 min mark...she was up. I put the paci back into her mouth, and did some shh/pat until she fell asleep. Sometimes it would take 30-45 minutes. Is this normal? If she naps for 45 minutes, and we're doing shh/pat for 30 minutes...how long do I let her sleep her 2nd cycle?
Will she go throuh a growth spurt at 16 weeks? What am I in for?
 My husband wanted me to post another question...if she seems tired from activity (ie. yawning) and we try to swaddle her and wind her down, and it makes her cry...and cry for minutes....at what point do we stop? IS she trying to tell us that she's not tired?
Or is it always over-tiredness?
Thank you for all your help......it's the only hope I have these days.
illya's mom
p.s. Today illya doesn't want to eat at all after nap. We put her down at 10:00 till 10:45...i did shh/pat till 11:45- she slept until 12:30. Woke up and didn't want to eat. Am I doing something wrong?
 

[GraceKellysmom]

It may take her some time before she understands the change. It's not easy for them to change, they say "hey, but we do it this way!" You can try to wait 15-30-45 minutes after she wakes and offer again. Whatever you do, keep the intervals between feeds about the same (3-4 hrs) so she gets full feeds. Unless she is hungry earlier and then feed her!

My dd was a bear for naps too. She didn't care to be swaddled, she got tired and just screamed. What worked for us was a sling, I wore her in it until she was very sleepy and then either laid her down to nap or kept her in it if we were out. It also got her used to taking naps in the crib because we weren't BWers from the beginning either.

As for napping, I would do the extending like you said, and aim to let her sleep the amount for the second cycle so that you get up to the next feed time. So if she is doing a 3 hr EASY, and you fed her at 8am, then try to get her up to feed by 11 or 11:30. Her awake cycle may not be so long after that feed, she may be ready to nap again sooner.