Help! 5.5 months, won't go to sleep at night

[daisymelan]

I have had this problem for months now and have asked for help in the past, but didn't receive very much advice so I thought I woudl try again.  It has changed slightly, but here it is.....

My little one naps like a dream.  He goes right down after our wind down and I rarely have to go back in the room.  At night, it's a much different story.  He will scream (but not real screams, but not just little fusses) until we come to see him.  We don't have to pick him up, we barely have to do anything, just as long as he can see us.   I'm a huge fan of BW, but I have to admit that I'm getting closer to CIO. 

So pu/pd won't work since he doesn't even need touched.

We have tried different routines, etc, but he always seems to fuss at night.  Sometimes this goes on for 2 hours. 

Please help!  If you need anymore info I'd be more than happy to post the answers.

Thanks

[GabrielleD]

Do you have a wind down routine for night? So he knows that it's bedtime and time to go to sleep?

[daisymelan]

Sure do.  Well, I do the same thing that I do for naps.  Which works wonders for naps.  I close the blinds and say good night to the sun, etc.  I then hold him and sing the same two lullabyes then I wrap him up and say good night.  I swear he just nods right off for this at nap time.  At night he jsut starts screaming when we're out of sight.

[GabrielleD]

Unfortunately, I have no real solutions to this. But before you try CIO, what if you put a little of your perfume or moisturizer on something near him in the crib (like his stuffed animal or a little on his mattress) so he can smell you and feel like you're there. It sounds like he misses you (but I don't know why he misses you only at night). HTH

[daisymelan]

Thanks for the idea, that could work. I may try that tonight.... maybe even a pic of me and dh would work.

But I think I may try posting this in The Couch or something so that more ppl get to read it.  I'm sure some other mama had the same trouble with their little one and maybe have somethign that worked for them.  I'm getting desperate.

[Katw]

Hi,

We have been battling bedtimes too since about 5mths( See my post bedtimes battle and the swaddle!!). Naps are no problems.

One thing I did try and still do, is do the bath earlier. I now give her her bath after her supper at 5.30pm, then we come downstairs for quiet time, no tv or anything, just one toy.

Then about 30mins later we go upstairs for bottle and bed. The 1st night I did this she went straight to sleep, it worked a treat!

Now however we are back to about 30mins to get her to sleep and we have to go in and re-swaddle over and over until she'll eventually decide its time for sleep, however at naps she'll go straight off.

I can't work it out but maybe this might help you too!

[daisymelan]

Katw,

Oh I hear ya.  It is a big headache.  I have changed my routine a bunch of times to try out different things.  Bottle closer to bed, bath time change, add food, everythign I can think of.  But I have had zero luck.

I posted my original post in the Couch and hope maybe some more mamas who had this problem maybe see it there.  If I get anything, I will for sure post it back here and let you know.

All I want to know is how do our little ones know it's bedtime?  Geez.

Good luck to you too!

[Jaime]

i have some thoughts... please keep in mind that i am "talking" much more gently than i know it looks.  i tend to write very bluntly and it looks rather harsh, but hey, that's me.  :wink:

 :arrow: it's a baby's goal in life to continually change sleep patterns for the first 6 months.   :?  just when you think you've got it worked out, something happens to throw the whole routine off-kilter anyhow - growth spurt, developmental leap, sickness, teething.... all of that must be dealt with to guide your babe back to sleeping all night long

I have changed my routine a bunch of times to try out different things. Bottle closer to bed, bath time change, add food, everythign I can think of. But I have had zero luck.

 :arrow: how long did you persist with the change in routine?  i am going to assume that you tried the new routine for a couple of days, it didn't work right off, so you tried something else.  you can't hope to have success that way.  some babies to adjust rapidly, and others are much slower to adapt.  trying out something else every couple of days only confuses the baby and still doesn't set up clear nighttime sleep cues for him. 

He will scream (but not real screams, but not just little fusses) until we come to see him. We don't have to pick him up, we barely have to do anything, just as long as he can see us. I'm a huge fan of BW, but I have to admit that I'm getting closer to CIO. So pu/pd won't work since he doesn't even need touched.

 :arrow: sounds like he just needs some reassurance that you indeed still exist.  at that age, if they can't see it, it's not there.  i agree, something that smells like mom can do wonders.  you might want to consider sleeping on a receiving blanket for a couple nights (& spend lots of quality time in the day with it) to get it full of your scent. 

you can also just go to him when he fusses, let him see you (as that's all he seems to need), and when he calms down, walk away.  repeat if necessary, as often as necessary.  i did a form of this with luke around 8 months, when he started separation anxiety.  the first few days, it was a lot of walking, but as he got more comfortable with the idea that mom was always coming back, it took less & less time. 

hope this gives you more to work with

[kirsty_167]

Hi....i have to say the advice katew gave about the bathtime has been what worked for us.We went through this nighttime problems for ages until katew gave me advice.We stuck to the new routine of leaving his last bottle till after some relaxtime after his bath.We now bath him at 5,30 and then have cuddles until about6-6.15pm...then into his room which is darkened and he has his last bottle there.We had to do this for sometime before it really started to work.Now we have no screaming at bedtime...yippee.I strongly believe babies do learn bedtime means the longhaul sleep...well im sure jakob knows so thats why he fought it.

Perservere with one routine you know works,your baby will soon settle down again.

Kirsty

[daisymelan]

Thank you so much for all your help.  I was advised that maybe I should just keep him up a bit later until he's actaully tired.  I admitted that I never really thought of that...   :oops:     I guess I just figured he needed 12 hours at night.  But tonight we put him down after 14 hours of awake time.  Fingers crossed, but he seems to have gone down relatively quitely.

I think I will sleep with a receiving blanket and try that as well.

In the past I usually gave things around 3 days, except changing the bath time bottle, we tried that for over a week straight.  (During the holidays we were visiting fam so it was pretty much whatever worked that night).  I guess I figured he was an angel baby and adjusted so well to everythign that this should be the same.

If he seems well rested tomorrow I will keep up the late bedtime, but that means he goes to bed at 10pm.   :shock:     I don't mind, it jsut seems like a long day for him.

Thanks for all your advice and words.  It is truly truly appreciated.

Jodie

[jswerczek]

Hi Jodie,
      What time had you'd been previously putting him to bed? I think 10 p.m. is kind of late. It would be nice to get 12 hours at night, but if he is giving you good naps, that is probably not possible. The average amount of sleep for a baby of Owen's age is about 14.5 hours.

Jake sleeps about 10-10.5 hours at night and his bedtime is 8:30 p.m. If you would like to post your schedule then maybe I can see if I can help you move the bedtime back up and still put him to bed when he is tired.

Jennifer

[daisymelan]

Hi Jennifer my lovely BW extrodinaire.  lol

Well, he wakes at 8am, so 10pm isn't too bad.  I wish he would wake up a bit earlier, but he's just a late riser right now.  I can probably work on that as we master this night thing.

As for last night, he slept just fine!   :shock:    It was amazing.  I think I will try keeping him up later again today.

Jennifer, his schedule is the 4 hour EASY with two naps of about 2 hours.  So I guess he's getting 14 hours of sleep in total in a day.  He didn't have the cat nap last night. 

THe only other battel we have is his aversion to solids, however, he's not quite 6 months old, so I have quit it for a few days and will try again.

If you still want a typed out EASY just let me know.

Jodie

[jswerczek]

Jodie you are too sweet! I wish Jake slept until 8 a.m. I am happy to hear he slept good last night and did scream at you! If you are happy with the bedtime and he sleeps good, I wouldn't change anything then. You mentioned he didn't take a catnap, then was he up from his afternoon nap until 10 pm? Right now, Jake is only staying awake 2.5-3 hours otherwise he gets a little grizzly.

As for the solids, hang in there. Jake started rough too and then one day it just clicked. He went from barely keeping it in his mouth to eating four ounces a meal! I suspect Owen is just getting used to the idea of mushy stuff in his mouth  :wink: