When is it OK to send your child to daycare?

[a_astorga]

Hi,

My son will turn 1 year old soon and I was wondering if it's a good idea to send him to daycare for a couple of hours so he can socialize with other kids and learn how to play, etc. What is a good age to do this? For how many hours should they go?

Maybe someone can help out or is curious too.

Thanks

[beccarman]

i've been thinking the same thing, my dd is 8 mths now and i've not not a job to go back to so am thinking about this as a way of her socialising and me having some 'me time', i feel like i need it!! however, it makes me feel a bit bad thinking about sending her somewhere so i can go have have a coffee with a friend or a walk round the shops...it would be like stepping back in time! i think if we did do it would be just for half a daya week and not for a while yet.

[maggieruth]

its hard to say THIS stage is right for nursery IMHO... i think that it very much depends on your lo.  i dreaded sending my 8 mo son to nursery but have been pleased whilst doing my daily run back to bf, that Ethan is watching the other kids play (when he is with one of the providers or in a highchair) and laughing at what they are doing!  i would have said i have picked a lousy time because of the whole separation anxiety thing and the fact that i HAVE to work and the long days i work (Ethan spends from 8 til 5:30, 3 days a week) but still he seems to be benefiting...(catch me at another time and i will tell you he could be eating/sleeping/etc more and his routine is out of wack (he IS only two weeks into nursery)!

nursery could be a good option!  kids socialise with each other and watch each other in different ways than they do adults and if your son likes to socialise then it might be fun to see how he does in a group.

it might be worthwhile checking out playgroups in your area, or lessons, or library reading times as that might give your lo a chance to interact whilst you are still nearby.  or you could arrange playdates (maybe even a playdate where one mummy gets to sneak away whilst the other watches two babes).  i guess what i am saying is that nursery isn't the only option but also that it could be a really good one! 

good luck figuring it out!

[Bryony's mum]

I was back at work when dd was 7 mths, so I didn't have that issue, but a friend of mine was a SAHM and decided she would like a morning to herself.  She tried to start her ds at a nursery one morning a week when he was about 12 mths, but after a couple of sessions gave up as he just stood by the door howling the whole time.  So in her case, 12 mths was absolutely the wrong time with regard to separation anxiety.

I suppose it depends on your lo, and they'll all have different degrees of sep. anxiety at different times.  Perhaps you just need to try it, and if it doesn't seem to be right, you might need to try socialising when you are with him for a while longer.

HTH

[Libby's Mom]

a_astorga - I don't know where you're posting from, but I have a drop-in centre in my area that I go to with dd once a week.  This way she gets to socialize with other infants, the moms (& there are 2 dads) get to chat & compare stories, & the last 1/2 hour the facilitators sing songs & do rhymes & stuff with hand motions etc. that the parents & babies can all do together.  It's lots of fun & we look forward to it every week.  There are babies from 4 weeks to 12 months.  (The really little ones just sleep & bf, but their moms have a good time!)  Also, every now & then there is a specialist of some sort that might lead a conversation about, oh say immunization or feeding your baby solids, & we all just sit around & talk about that for a while as the babies play.

I think that this type of environment could be a good precursor to daycare, as it's a similar set up, but Mom stays & it's just for a few hours.  If you have to or decide to move on to a daycare environment, at least the concept won't be totally foreign to your lo.

My drop-in centre is a government run one (they're called Early Years Centres here), so it's free & I can come & go as I please - no one cares if I miss a day or show up late (well, except Libby!).  You might want to see if there's anything like this where you live.  Also, our local library has a baby-time thing that I hear is good, although we've never been to it.

If it's a break you're looking for, maybe there is someone else who could take your lo to one of these programs - like Grandma, or you & a friend with a lo could take turns attending a function with both kids.

Hope these suggestions help you find something to suit your needs - good luck!

[a_astorga]

Thanks for the replies and all your suggestion.

Unfortunately they don't have such centers down here where I live. Like library gatherings or playgroups, etc. It's just not done here. All they have is daycare.

Thanks

[maggieruth]

so then its all about what your ds is like to judge how he would cope...
i knew my ds would be fine because he is nosy, likes to watch everything and smile at everyone but he isn't exactly the first to hit milestones (we still aren't crawling and almost everyone else in his room is!)

based on him loving people and my desire to expose him to kids doing different things i figured that the time was right for him...

let us know what you decide and how its going!

[Lan]

I think around about 18 months to 2 years would be a good time if you are not going to be there - sep anxiety mostly past by then.

If you are going to be there too then anytime would be a good time.

Maggieruth - I lived in Durham for 2 years! Are you working at the uni?

[Duckie]

I took the full year maternity leave when I had Andrew - we did Mommy and Me swimming when he was 7 months old (1/2 hr once a week) and a program called Baby Time run by the local parks and rec for an hour a week when he was about 9 months old - the programs were 2 months long a piece.  He enjoyed it, it got me out of the house.

I'm in Ontario, Canada as well and the Early Years Centres were just opening up when I had ds, so I unfortunately didn't take advantage of it, I likely will when ds2 comes.  And a friend of mine has a gang of moms that come to her house for "Monday Morning Moms", so we'll be there too.  (I was the first of my friends to have kids so there was no MMM when I had Andrew!)

When I went back to work, Andrew was almost 13 mos old and rather than a formal day care environment, I opted for a home day care provider who was/is an absolute angel and he still asks about her even after not being at her house for 18 months.  Andrew was a little touchy about noise as a wee one and a group day care setting wasn't for him.  He did a year in a Montessori program from Sept 04 - June 05 and is now in a day care program on the days he is not in JK.

It's all about what your little one can handle....good luck with your decision!

[a_astorga]

Hi,

What is the Montesorri program? We have one down here too.

[maggieruth]

Lan,
i worked for good old dryburn hospital and now i work out of the community hospital in chester le street with children... Durahm is a lovely spot isn't it?

and Duckie, i didn't know you were in Ontario!  my mom and dad are in London, cousins all in kitchener and toronto as well as sisters in toronto... as a kid i lived in windsor and thunder bay!  dunno when we are due to visit next...

[Kimberly®]

Thanks for the replies and all your suggestion.

Unfortunately they don't have such centers down here where I live. Like library gatherings or playgroups, etc. It's just not done here. All they have is daycare.

Thanks

Thats too bad, the Early Years Center is great here. It saved my sanity when Kayla was 2 weeks old and I thought I was alone. I went there and now I go 2-3 times a week. They have Play your Part Parenting, baby Massage, and Baby sign. It helps me stay sain because I get to spend time with other mom's, share advice, and most importently, I get adult interaction.

If your area doesn't have one and you don't feel comfortable with daycare just yet, have you thought of setting up playdates? where you and other mom's can meet and your children can play? That way you get adult conversation and your child gets socialized.

Maybe you could look into that.

[a_astorga]

Thanks for the response.

However I don't know of anybody that has kids. Not yet.