Bottles at 4 am

[Mum to cool dude]

My DS is now 14 months old and waking once a night, usually from 1 am to 4 am, and it's wearing us down.

When he was a tiny baby, he was a decent sleeper. At 6 months old, he went on solids and we managed to stick to some kind of routine and he slept well.

Since he's been a toddler, he seems to have forgotten how to sleep through the night. Since Christmas, we have been transitioning from two naps to one and we are trying to go back to some sort of routine at the moment

I can't see the wood from the trees. I know we have various issues:

- He goes to bed when he's tired. If he has had a poor nap and is tired, he goes to bed early, otherwise we wait roughly for 4 hours from the end of his nap to put him to bed. The last couple of nights, it has been up to 9.45 pm, as he decided he was having too much fun to go down !

- I used to get him to sleep with pat/shush but I appreciate that I have to teach him independent sleep, so I now sit by his bed with sometimes a hand on his back while he falls asleep. Every once in a while he raises his head to make sure I'm still there then lies back. I also tried popping out of the room to the bathroom next door until he whines in order to get him used to the idea of him being alone without me in his cot

- I have always given him a bottle to settle him down. I have taken the view that because he usually wakes up at different times he wakes up out of hunger (which is probably wrong !). He is healthy and active but a poor eater and despite offering him greater quantities of food during the day he eats like a bird, which may explain the night wakings. Yesterday, we tried switching from SMA Gold to SMA Progress in the hope that a formula that is less rich may encourage him to eat more during the day

Where do I start ? I am trying to settle him in a new routine to start with, waking up at 7.30 am, nap from 1 pm to 3 pm, asleep at 8 pm, which fits in with his existing meal and bath times and our family

I am aware that some of you would be thinking of earlier bed times, but if he has a long PM nap and is still lively at 9.30 pm, that is not an option

Many thanks for the advice  :?

[elfin]

Hello,

Could you give us run down of his day?  What time does he wake, when does he nap, what does his bedtime routine look like, what time is bedtime, when did these problems arise, does he fall asleep independently?

Post back and we will try to help!

[Mum to cool dude]

Thank you Carrie,

Our routine has basically gone out of the windows since before Christmas, when I had to take DS to nursery (day care) with me instead of DH dropping him off. I tend to compensate for DS ie I let him sleep late if he has had an active night, we move his bedtime back if cranky and tired, etc. Basically, we take our clues from him. Overall, that seems to make a happy child but the structured routine has to come back if that messes everybody's sleep up.

I was hoping that having him with us for 10 days during the Christmas break would help with the routine but all we achieved was the transition to one nap.

As he's in nursery during the day, we don't know how the PM nap went until we collect him. And the PM nap determines when we'll all go to bed (and possibly if we'll have a night waking)

Sorry not to be able to be more specific.

Bedtime is meal at 6 pm, then bath at 7 pm (or later if we anticipate a late bed time), then story time with DH then I take over for the bedtime routine. I tried to gauge how ready DS is to go to bed. I let him play a bit in the cot with the light on, then the light goes off and when he shows signs of being tired or I decide it's getting late in the day, he gets in the grobag, has his bottle and lays down more or less willingly depending if he's in party mood or not. Finally, he'll listen to his music box and eventually he'll fall asleep with me sitting by his cot (It seems tiring just writing it down !)

I hope that will give you some ideas. Thank you in advance

[Alison_3]

I too try to put my ds to bed four hours after his afternoon nap.  However, if he naps later I still put him about the same time.   We're still working on transitioning to one nap, fixing early wakings, etc. 

I wouldn't feed during the night.  My son is 14.5 months old and around 9-10 months old we stopped feeding him during the night.  I got into the bad habit of feeding him because it was easy to just give him a couple of ounces and he would go back to sleep quickly. 

I started decreasing the amount I gave him and then switched to water.  Well he didn't want the water, so he would just go back to sleep with some assistance and then eventually not even wake up for an early morning feeding. 

I always worry if my son is getting enough to eat, but at this point I know he can make it through the night and he'll eat when he's hungry.  I just offer him a lot during the day. 

good luck!  I know how hard it is waking up between 1-4!

[elfin]

I would go back to the routine you had and keep it very soothing and low key.  When you put him down you could do PU/PD, although at this age it is more of PD.  Or if he is not upset by being put down, I would leave, and if he gets upset go right back in say night-night, and then leave again.  I don't know if you have read any other threads on here but this is the walk in/walk out.  If you want more info on let me know and I can elaborate.

I think part of the problem is the inconsistency with naps at daycare.  Are you able to tell them what time you want him to nap, and until what time?  If you could this would help out alot.

[Mum to cool dude]

Alison,

I think you're right, other postings have suggested sticking to the same bedtime no matter what the PM nap has been, although if he's overtired I would probably cave in. I also read somewhere that by 6 months babies learn to get tired at the same time every day, same as we do, so that makes sense.

As to the milk, last night I tried offering him water instead and to my amazement, he took a couple of sips (   then settled in my arms, which was a huge relief as I expected a major whine !

DS has proposed to take over the bedtime routine as he reckons that DS may not want to play then as we does with me. I may take over the bath instead in order to make it more of a calming experience.

Thank you for the advice. I hope things improve in the next couple of weeks

[Mum to cool dude]

Carrie,

I think you're also on the right track. On Monday, we woke DS up at 7.30 am and for the next 2 mornings he has been up happy on his own at that time. I have asked the daycare nurse to put him down after lunch, ie at 1 pm or about 5.5 later, so our routine would be:

up 7.30 am
cereals 9 am
lunch 12 am (it's their set lunch time)
nap 1 pm - 3pm
snack 3 pm
evening meal 6 pm
bath 7 pm
bed 8 pm

Well, that's the theory, anyway, but we'll try to stick to it

I have mentioned the "moving chair" theory to DS and he's happy to teach DS independent sleep

Thank you for your support

[elfin]

No problem!  Keep us posted!

[Mum to cool dude]

Last night, DS was up at 3.11 am. I offered him water and eventually he settled in my arms. I guess I should have stayed on the sofa with him until 7 am but I took a chance and put him back in his cot. He couldn't settle back to sleep on an empty tummy so eventually I gave in and gave him his bottle. Do you think I should give it another go at going cold turkey or should I try to hold off progressively longer (ie bottle at 5 am, 5.30 am, etc.) untill we make it to 7 am without a night feed ? Thank you