3 hours standing at crib side with screeming toddler

[mango_baby]

My extremely spirited, touchy little one was taught using tracy's put down method 6 months ago. I am not saying it didn't work,( although the first night he had a trantum for 3 hours) he actually began sleeping in his crib for lengths of time never before ( 1 hour naps instead of 20 min.) Night times were better too, I felt like a new woman when he didn't wake up every 40 min after putting him down. I stopped all night feedings until his wake up at about 6am. He still has always woken up at some point during the night. Now after 1 1/2 years of full night sleep I can count on one hand I need help!!!
I worked so hard 6 months ago, and little by little as I was so tired I began taking him out of his crib so I would not have to stand at his crib, with my back killing until he went back to sleep. I knew I was doing accidental parenting. I only did it a few times.But, of course at his age, 17 months, he quickly caught on. A couple of times I even nursed him I was so beside myself for sleep at night.
Now I am going back to put down and he is literally screaming for 3 to 4 hours straight. He is mad I won't take him out, tried to bite be, hit me, arches his back etc. I eventually end up in tears, despit always begining the episode remaining calm and telling myself i can make it through this, and maybe he will just setle back down.My partner cannot go, he has never even put him to bed (works 6am to 1030 pm) so if he does go my little one goes even more crazy. I have company in our home for the next 3 months and I feel bad for them right now too.
I understand things are going on right now for him, teething, seperation anxiety, etc. But I believe this has mostly to do with how stubbored natured he is. He will put up a fight and generally I can too. But now when its from 2 to 6 am I start to die out somewhere in the middle. This am it was 6 am and he hadn't eaten since 6 30 the night before, so out of pure exhaustion I nursed him and he went right back to sleep.

What on earth do I do. Do I completely changed around his bedtime routine, bath, books, milk, bed? should I give him milk before his bath. Is it okay to do a big change like that (especially when he is sooo sensitiveto any little change) Do I just keep doing this until he gives up? Should I do the timed leaving his room at bedtime is place of milk, or put down again? I need to sleep now and I need some help. Please.

Thank you,
Melissa

[deb]

Hey, no fun when you're sleep-deprived. Been there, done that, have a stack of T-shirts - and more keep arriving regularly! :shock:

Anyway, a couple questions:

Does your DS have a lovey? Stuffed animal, blanket, something he's attached to? We were able to tell Josie around that age that if she needed a hug in the night she should hug her "bedtime buddies" and it worked so well I wished I'd thought of it sooner instead of trying for a couple weeks to come up with the ideal answer. Might be worth a try. He should understand all the words at this point.

What time is his bedtime? Might need to be earlier or later.

If you think he's really hungry, you might TRY moving the milk, but at this point if it were me I'd keep the milk not right before bed. Maybe before books? That's what I did with Josie before I weaned her from the breast around 15 months, just moved the feed so she didn't expect it right before she went into her crib.

If you're pretty sure he's NOT hungry, how about keeping a sippy of water handy? He might be thirsty, especially if the air is dry like it is in our winter. You can go in, give him the sippy, and when he's had a drink you can leave. Added bonus: if he doesn't want the water, he'll hopefully stop waking for it if that's all he gets! LOL

If he's teething, make sure you're armed with Motrin/Tylenol (about 20 minutes before bed, with a dose ready for when it wears off) and Orajel. Josie would wake sobbing around 2AM when the Motrin wore off asking for Orajel by name through the tears :cry:. BTW, this is about the time her eyeteeth came in, and even though she handled most of her other teeth well, the THREE MONTHS here eyeteeth took to come in, SLOWLY, one at a time, were probably the longest 3 months of toddlerhood for us. :? Heck we should have bought stock in those meds - we'd be rich now! LOL

HTH!

[mango_baby]

Thank you for your reply.
He seems hungry, although his eagerness could easily be expectation.
His bed time is 7 pm. we start the routine at 630.
His daytime nap is 12:30 and he has been waking progressivly earlier from it. for sure by two he is awake.
I've played around with earlier and later, but doesn't seem to make a diff.
So you suggest maybe moving the feed before the books. What do I do when he starts to fall alseep or nod off. just sit him up and read at that point? I'll try this, he is pretty tempermental so we'll see what happens.
Also, for the lovely. he is furious with the stuffy I give him.He either begins to trash it about madly or eles begins to play with it, which, of course I don't want him to do. He does understand most words. it does not mean he wants to hear them or abide by them. I'e been tallking about night time and everything. he seems to only want what he wants.
I'll try your suggestions. We have the meds under control, thats why I think he just simply would rather fall asleep anywhere but IN his crib.

Thank you so much for responding,

melissa