Author Topic: husband who sleeps through the night!  (Read 1919 times)

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Offline ynoterica

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husband who sleeps through the night!
« on: January 15, 2006, 02:39:25 am »
O.k., seems like a dumb question, but does anybody have any experience with getting their husband out of bed during the night to share the responsibility of pu/pd?  He sleeps through it all and I'm having great difficulty in trying to tell him that I need for him to help me out.  Anyone out there have any ideas?

Offline branwen

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husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2006, 03:03:40 am »
My husband had this issue.  :D  We have decided it is biological, and other fathers we know have agreed and confirmed this.  It is very strange because for my husband it went away around the 9 month mark.  He can now hear our dd when she cries.  We speculate that it is because in the early months the dad is working that he must get sleep in order to provide for the family- some insane instinctual thing.  We have no evidence of this only that so many other fathers have been through this and are staring at their wives in the middle of the night wondering what's going on because they have had absolutely NO idea the baby has been crying for hrs and why their wives are so upset!

I know this won't make you feel better.  It really sucks. :roll: I don't know how many times I was so angry he was still sleeping while I was up, exhausted!!!  What did make me feel better was waking him up regardless, even if the ordeal was over. :wink:

I found that if I needed my dh's help with PU/PD (at the 4 month mark) it was much better to let him take the first round, so the bedtime one.  I would go to bed early when my dd did, so if I had to be up at around 1am I had at least 5 hrs of sleep. 

He is really great at helping in the night now that he can hear her.  :wink:
Branwen
Mama to Eirwen 1/22/05


Offline ynoterica

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husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2006, 20:59:43 pm »
Thanks so much for the reply :D !  I spoke to him this morning about it and he said that he's willing to try it.  He said that I might just have to poke him in the ribs.  I didn't know that it was an instinctual thing.  That's really interesting!  It has been really hard, but knowing others are experiencing it helps me!
Erica
mother to Parker, age 4 months

Offline HeatherC

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husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2006, 03:08:27 am »
It's so good that you expressed your concern to your dh.  Holding something like that in would have created alot of stress for you.  I agree with Branwen, men just aren't wired the same to hear everything little thing all night long.  Or all day for that matter.
Kelsey, Feb. 4, 2005
Landon, Jan. 2, 2007

Offline estherofi20

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husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2006, 03:08:41 am »
wow i wish i could help you there, because DH just CANNOT hear DS when he is asleep :roll: ... it was really frustrating at first :evil:  but i guess its biological, and i'm used to it by now, but i guess if it gets roughf further along i will have to ask for his help too.
good luck!! :D
 

Offline Khyan & Sahria's mum

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husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2006, 03:56:08 am »
We absolutely had this issue when DS was little

So I started putting the monitor on DH's bed side table right by his ear and then if he still didn't hear DS I just poked him firmly in the ribs as soon as Khyan started and then rolled over.

DH always then woke up with a bit of a shock and said " do you want me to go" and I would casually say "that would be great"

But I am a bit of a meanie  :wink:
Michaela
Khyan & Sahria's Mummy




Offline branwen

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Re: husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2006, 19:54:47 pm »
Be a meanie though!  It is so important, otherwise you can get really resentful on top of being exhausted.  You have to work out a plan.  If that means getting him up for his shift definitely do it! :-)
Branwen
Mama to Eirwen 1/22/05


Offline CaedensMama

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Re: husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2006, 21:44:48 pm »

DH always then woke up with a bit of a shock and said " do you want me to go" and I would casually say "that would be great"


Yeah - that's about the response I get too - he is shocked that I want him to go. I think sometimes he thinks I sit around all day resting so I can be up all night. :-)
 And no - he usually doesn't hear the baby either. We are still working on this!
Jen
Mama to:
Caeden (6/05)
Colm (3/07)
Alannah (11/08)
Tadhg (8/10)
and Ailish due Sept 16, 2011

Offline dannygirl

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Re: husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2006, 00:19:05 am »
My Dh does the same thing, and I literaly have to punch his stomach to wake him up, he sleeps through everything!!! ANd yes it is very annoying. My dd use to be up till 1 or 2 in the morning and my Dh would stay in bed and not even get up to help me. Ues to get so frustrated at him that I would yell at him. But he is doing alittle better. I can actually wake him up now, but he still sleeps through her crying.
Kaylene
Allison 10/20/05


Offline ynoterica

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Re: husband who sleeps through the night!
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2006, 18:02:19 pm »
 :D
Thanks, everyone!  Men.  You love them, but you hate them!  I tried the trick of putting the baby monitor by him and that has helped.  I have found that sarcasm also helps  ;D.  He told me the other night, but I have to wake up at 5:30.  I said, "It's nice that you get to sleep in"!  Ha!