It sounds like she just isn't ready for cutlery yet, and that's okay. Like Alex said, I've also read that using utensils comes later, like around 2. Tyler's 2, and we aren't really there yet...oh well. He'll use them sometimes and more food ends up in his lap than in his mouth, so I actually prefer it when he uses his fingers! Come to think of it, Tyler showed zero interest in cutlery until he was around 22 mo or so. And yes, the pickiness is normal too. Your best bet is to give her a choice between 2 things. If she isn't verbal yet, just hold them up and let her point. Try not to let yourself fall into the trap of offering her everything under the sun just so that she'll eat. If she isn't hungry, so be it. Toddlers are notorious for eating everything in sight for a few days, then refusing to eat for a few days. It's normal as long as she isn't losing weight or showing signs of illness. Hang in there!