Help! I've turned into my mum - 10 mth old not eating - i'm losing it !

[Dina]

I hate to say this - but I lost my temper this mornig big -time.  I shouted quite loudly at him for not eating any ready brek - he's going thru a phase of not wanting to eat - esp savory foods (even ready brek).

He keeps spitting it out of just clamps his mouth shut.

He's always eaten well and only goes thru these phases just before his teeth came thru but then went back to eating normally within 2 or 3 days.  But this had now lasted 7 days and i'm getting more and more frustrated.

My mum had a bad temper and remember her losing it whilst trying to feed my brother when he was a baby.  And he then went on to have an eating disorder.  He was always anxious about eating food and this lasted until he was about 15 years old !

I'm now worried that I'm going down the same road.  I know that shouting at him won't make any difference and could make the situation even worse.  And I feel sooo guilty about shouting at him that I end up in tears and saying sorry. 

I'm getting soo stressed about it - I called the health visitor and explained the situation.  She suggested not giving him his sweet unless he eats his savory.  And to take him out of the high chair if he's refusing to eat.  But then that means he's going hungry ? Which breaks my heart.
Because he's not had enough calories in the day - he's now waking up at night hungry and won't sleep til he's had his milk. I don't want him to get into this habit of night feeding - No Way !

I've tried finger foods but he just squashes it up and smears on the table and throws it around.  If he does manage to bit a bit off he spits it out.  So far he'll only eat bits of bread or cheese on toast and sweet stuff.

I've tried offering pureed foods but he just tastes it with his tongue and decides he doesn't want.

He ate homemade cauliflower cheese (one of his favorites) on saturday eve in 5 mins flat, so I thought hey - at least he's eating that - so made up some more - yep you guessed it, he didn't want it !

I know I shoudn't shout at him and i'm not going to from now on - because it'll just make matters worse.  As long as he's drinking 400 - 500mls of formula and eating some (bits) of bread / fruit.

Should I stop giving him fromage frais/yoghuts as the health visitor suggested ?

I'm going to carry on offering finger foods as someone mentioned it could be that.

It could be his gums are sore, he's had his 2 top teeth thru for about 2 wks now and his other teeth on the sides may be coming soon.

But I can't understand why he favors some foods (sweet) over others !

Sorry to go on and on.  I needed to let it all out !

[MelissaS]

Hi,

Firstly - DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!!! Every now and then things like this do happen and you are very aware of it so there is no point kicking yourself over it. I know it sounds obvious and difficult not to feel bad but please don't as it is over now. 

I had a very similar incident in the first months of starting solids (I think it was about 8 months) and I ended up just dropping the plate on the ground and yelled FINE DONT EAT IT - of course as soon as I yelled I knew it was wrong and felt AWFUL especially as he was so shocked as I have never yelled before. I can tell you it has never happened again - but I did get frustrated after that but we now do the following; I hope this will help you - it may not but you will receive lots of good advice from several people may be something will work for you.

We now feed David (11mths) in a stand up play pen as we had HUGE problems with the high chair and him refusing food - he hated it (I will attach a photo of it for you if I can find one - it looks like a walker that dosent move and has toys all around it) and he plays with all the toys attached to the play pen and whilst he plays I stick whatever I want in his mouth and he eats it as he is more entertained by the toys he dosent really take notice of what he is eating. Diversion

Sometimes I will even sit on the floor and follow him around with the food and while he plays I stick some in his mouth - I know this sounds silly but it really works for us. We dont have a set 3 meals per day - I just try feeding all day (usually 5 meals a day) when he wakes up.

Because we dont make a big deal about eating - it is a much more relaxed household - and it is easier to feed them.

I wouldnt suggest taking yoghurt etc... off him - anything they eat is good. Can I suggest items like creamed rice (I have a GREAT recipe if you like) that is good for them and a little sweet, my DS LOVES IT and it will fill him up. Also things like sweet potato or mashed pumpkin, or grapes etc if he has a sweet tooth or things like creamy pasta?

Also sometimes bubs wake at night and slow down the eating when they are reaching different milestones or teething - so dont worry too much it is most likely a phase.

Anyway - I hope some of this helps if not hopefully just knowing people are here supporting you might make you feel better.

Please keep in touch - and you are very welcome to PM me - I get bored sometimes (stay home mum) and love getting mail

Will wait to hear from you, good luck and HUGS!!
Melissa

[mcruari]

Dina,
we've all been there, done that, etc. so dont' worry. We all 'loose it' sometimes. It is important to recognise it and make sure it doesn't happen on a regular basis.
I, too have been through feeding problems with my DD and it really becomes more 'your' problem than your LO's. As you said and as Melissa mentioned too - I'd give him whatever he is willing to eat so don't take away anything.
I think you know what is right for your LO. I doubt he is underweight so don't worry. Just as long as he is drinking milk and taking some sort of solids, he'll survive.
Oh, and remember - this is only a phase!! (this has now become my 'phrase' as I have heard it so often and it is sooooooo true!!)

Good luck

Sinead

[Goldmum]

I'm in exactly the same boat with my little one. She has got to the stage where if she eats off the spoon once a day, it's been a good day. She's getting better with the finger foods now so I'd keep offering different bits of food. The nurse at the baby clinic advised to keep trying with the finger foods - they might just squash it and smear it all over the place 10 times and then something just clicks in their heads one day and they'll eat it.

What I'm doing at the moment is defrosting a couple of cubes of veggies per day and trying to get the odd spoon in at lunch and then again at supper. The rest is finger food, bits of my plate and yogurt (the only thing she'll eat off the spoon). I'll only feed her if she's sitting in the high chair and I take her out as soon as she stops eating. If she fusses once out of the chair, then I calm her down and put her back in the high chair and try again. It tries my patience sometimes, but I try to remember that she's not doing it on purpose and it's just her trying out her independence. Don't even get me started on the mess - she now eats cornflakes with milk for breakfast with her hands!

Personally I'd keep going with fruit/yogurt, whatever he'll eat. My paed has told me to give my little one yogurt as she doesn't drink a lot of formula (as well as not eating too well at the moment!) My view is that if it's fresh and healthy, then I won't restrict my daughter from eating it. If she was only eat chips and chocolate, it might be a bit different! Also try things you wouldn't even think of giving a baby normally - sardines on toast, and celery sticks have gone down a treat much to my surprise!

One other thing to try, if you're not already, is to give them a small toy to play with in the high chair - sometimes if they are distracted, then you can sneak a few more spoons in.

Anyway, good luck and hang in there - this is meant to be a stage so it shouldn't last forever (here's hoping!)

[Dina]

Well, this lunch time I tried offering him just finger foods.

He woke up from his nap he slept for about 1.5 hours. And I would normally give him some milk - but didn't as I wanted him to be slightly hungry and it was 12 noon - too close to lunchtime.

I made some brocoli (one of his old favorites) he used to like the challenge of biting of the soft tree bits and leaving the stalk out.  I made about 4 florets.  I grilled 2 frozen potato 'smile' things (he used to like too), some boiled carrot sticks from last nights dinner, 1 sausage (skinnless - one of his absolute favorites) and a handful of thai flavoured potato wedges (for me to show him how to eat).

Out of all of the above he ate approx, 1 whole potato smile, 2 brocolli florets and about 1/2 sausage, and one potato wedge.  The rest was scattered around his tray and the floor !

I was quite pleased as he remembered the potato smiles and fed himself, with me helping him a bit. 

I also kept the fromage frais out of sight - another new trick to keep his mind of them !

After about 20 mins though - he started to spit food out. So I then gave him some juice and his fromage frais.  I tried to sneak in some spoons of cauliflower cheese - but he wasn't having any of it !

All in all not a bad lunch.  I'll give him some milk in the afternoon and some cheese on toast.  And them more finger food for dinner !

I'll let you know how I get on !
Thanks for your kinds thoughts and advice.

[SophieB]

I used to dip the veges in the yoghurt.  Gross (I wouldn't eat it), but it's not a bad trick.  Or load up a fork with fruit - vege - fruit.