confused on napping & what I've read in the book and on these posts...

[sujoomama1]

Hello everyone.  I am very confused with the napping routines.  He turned 6 mos. about 2 weeks ago and I have started him on solids 2/day now.  He sleeps through the night, but I am having a tough time with the naps now.  I used to be able to read stories to him until he would let out a sigh indicating he had heard enough, and I would put him in his crib and tell him I would be back after he was sleeping.  He would go to sleep immediately.  This was really nice up until a few weeks ago.  He gets tired/sleepy every 2hrs. after waking from his last nap and he eats every 3hrs.  A few weeks ago, after the stories, I would put him down, and he would protest at being there and I started to rock him and then put him down, and also sometimes what is happening is after the stories (he clearly shows signs of being sleepy and tired - yawning, rubbing eyes, etc.), I put him in the crib and he starts cooing and playing.  I don't know whether to leave him there to coo or not..., because if he doesn't get his nap, he sleeps through the feedings and that isn't obviously good.  My question is that should I keep him up longer during the day so that he only gets 2 naps a day?  And, someone please help in getting him to sleep for these nap times...I am confused as to what I should do, because he used to do just fine and now he is having trouble getting to sleep for naps...I am confused about the cooing part to....I'd appreciate any help anyone can offer.

This is his schedule:

6-6:30 wake
6:30 bottle fed
6:50 - 8:15 playtime w/ mommy, daddy and alone
8:15-8:30 Story time with mommy in his room in the chair
8:30-9 nap#1
9-9:30 play
9:30 cereal and bottle fed
10-11:30 play
11:30-11:45 Story time with mommy in his room in the chair
11:45-12:15 nap#2
12:30-1 cereal and bottle fed
1-2:15 play
2:15-2:30 story time...
2:30-3 nap#3
3:-3:45 play
4:00 bottle fed
4:20 - 6:20 play time (there was a nap in between here, but he no longer wants it..)
6:30 - 6:40 massage
6:40 -7 bath time
7:20 bottle fed
7:40 sleep

[teezee]

i would definately change easy to a 4 hr routine at this point.  that would extend the A time somewhat and then he'd be ready to go to sleep...read your lo's signs. if he's clearly awake and happy let him stay up a bit longer.  this doesn't mean to drop down to only 2 naps.  if that's all he needs than so be it, if he needs a catnap than go for that to.  my rule of thumb was to never give a nap after 5:45...others may have different advice about catnaps that's just what worked for us.

[Colesmom]

hi Sujumama1,

I agree-you need to spread out your feeds to 4 hours.  If you don't then your little one will need to eat in the middle of their nap.  By cooing/playing your lo is telling you he's ready to stay up longer.  At this age you need to go by awake time, cues and also watch clock time too.  It can be kind of confusing and takes time to work through it...but we'll get you there!

I would start with nap 1, increasing his awake time by 15 minutes.  Also, do you do anything to try and extend his naps?  30 minutes isn't considered restorative.  You should be aiming for at least 1-1.5 hours for the first two naps and 30-45 for the catnap.  The catnap is usually dropped when all A times move to 3+ hours.

Please try extending A time and spreading out his feeds and let us know how you get on!

[sujoomama1]

Thanks for replying so soon.  You guys are so helpful.. Today I extended his A time by 15 more minutes to 8:45, and he kept yawning, so I put him down in his crib and told him it was sleep time and I'll be back.  He was crying/complaining for about 5 mintues, and then I went in.  I patted and sh'd him and he quieted down.  He has spent the last 10 minutes cooing.  Maybe, I'm reading him all wrong.  Maybe the yawns mean he is done with story time and wants to do something else with me?  What's happening is that if I go and pick him up, he starts wailing, like I am waking him up, so I'm confused as to if he is really tired or not....??  If I bring him out of his room, he is okay though.

Also, his naps varies 9 (from 20min to 1 & 1/2 hr.), but most of the time, he takes a 1/2 hr. nap.  He always cries when he wakes up, so I thought that meant he is done sleeping.  Is that not true?  I read that some people go in and pat the baby down prior to getting to the 1/2 hr. point to extend the nap..is that what I should be doing?  I would LOVE to have him sleep for 1 hr.or more for himself and of course ME...

On spreading out his feedings to every 4 hours - can you recommend an example of someone's EASY routine to look at for suggestions?  I have been going on clock time, cues and his wake time.  He gets sleepy every 2 hours (well starts to yawn and get quiet), and as far as his eating goes, he is usually hungry every 3 hours and will wail for feeding if I am not ready for him...What do you suggest I do as far as extending the time between eatings?

Please help.  I would LOVE to help him out.  He is such a good baby and makes my heart smile everyday, and I hate that I am not able to get this figured out, especially when we were doing so well before....
Thanks again.

[Colesmom]

Hi,

My DS cries when waking regardless of short or long naps.  Many babies will coo/play if they wake happy.  If he is crying it is likely he is still tired...and should be after only 30 minutes.

When you pick him up and start wailing-is he fighting against you, or inchworming?  these are indications that he's trying to settle for sleep and you may be disturbing him.  Once down for nap, if he's not crying a "need you" cry then i would let him try and settle. It may be a mantra cry...are you familiar with this term?

I would recommend going in before 30 minutes and laying a firm hand on him (or patting) to help him through that transition.  You will have to do this for a few days until he learns how to do it himself. 

I take it you have Tracy's book BWSAYP?  If so, there is a sample 4 hour EASY on page 34 or you can go to the EASY forum on the site here to look at sample schedules.  Page 39-46 will explain how to transition him from 3 hour feeds to 4 hours.  You need to do it gradually. He is hungry after 3 hours because that's what he's used to.  By spreading out his feeds gradually he will start to take more at each feed and be able to go longer in between.

okay, i hope this helps a bit...

[teezee]

i agree totally with colesmom..start by spreading out feedings 15 min at a time or so and just try distracting lo by playing or changing the diaper.  i also agree that when my lo has a 'good'nap she wakes up and talks to herself and plays in her crib.  if she wakes crying i always try to shhh her and get her to sleep longer, even if it's just 15 mn to a half hr.  good luck!

[sujoomama1]

Thanks so much for your help.  I have been reading the books and reviewing the boards a little more and I appreciate your help.  I have been struggling because I was going about this all wrong. I was going in to his room about 10 min prior to what should be his sleep time, and I decided we would go in 20-25 minutes prior for wind down time.  I am starting PU/PD today with him (if he needs it).  I have changed the wind down routine and intend to try this for the next few weeks so he gets used to it, and hopefully he will learn that this means sleep time.  I am going to get a nice bear or blanket for him to take in to his crib - that was a nice idea.  I am still not sure about the wake to sleep to extend the naps, but I will try what is necessary.  Right now he has slept for 40 minutes.  I peeked in his room at about 25min. of his sleep and stayed watching him stir for about 5 minutes.  I read more of your suggestions that sometimes spirited babies, when they see you, they wake up fully - and that's what happened yesterday when I went in and put my hand on his back, so today, I just stepped back to see what will happen...It has only been this morning since I am actually following everything, but I am starting today as, "I mean to go..".  I hope this works...I wil try to stick with it and will keep coming back to the boards and reading for motivation.  Thanks again for your help.  I have been feeling so miserable like a bad Mom, not being able to make him sleep and help him. Those cries are SO heartbreaking!!!  He is our first (in hopes of 4 total) and he is such a sweetheart.  He makes my heart smile from morning to night!  
I wish to help him learn to sleep and I will give it my all.  I owe it to him..

I am also trying to extend the feeding schedule by 15-30 minute increments. 
Thanks.

Sujoo

[Colesmom]

Hi Sujoo-

Your little one is lucky to have such a loving and caring mommy   I know it is hard to hear them cry.  Just remember that it is their way of telling you-mommy, this is different than what I'm used to!  You are not hurting your little one, you are teaching them the very valuable skill of independant sleep and are there to reassure them.  That is the beauty of BW-you are there to support them while they are learning.

One thing I wanted to mention-spirited babies tend to like darkness...so you may want to look into darkening the room a bit more if you haven't already.

good luck-you're doing great!

[teezee]

hope everything has been going well today.  one thing i could think of is that i did pu/pd with dd and she is also very spirited - it took forever!!  don't feel bad b/c of the crying, or feel like a bad mommy at all!  in the long run u are doing so much good!  with pu/pd it took a few days and MANY hours of crying and pu/pd but then it just clicked!  she is a wonderful napper for the most part now - nighttime is another issue totally as i have a hard time doing pu/pd as i am the only one there and always so exhausted...but it is good to be consistant.  i have heard that some spirited lo's don't take to pu/pd very well.  try for a few days and if not maybe just shhhh or patting will work for your lo.  we have a teddy bear for her and she loves it as soon as i lay her down for sleep she moves her head around looking for it and as soon as it touches her cheek she's generally out like a light.  just remember if u do pu and the back arches - pd right away he probably wants to sleep on his own and maybe u just need to leave a hand on the belly...anyway u can find a lot of great support on the pu/pd board - when u said u were starting it i just wanted to let u know it is easy to get discouraged but don't - in the long run it will be sooo worth it!