will NOT nap more than 30 minutes...please help

[rossilu]

ds (5 months) will NOT nap more than 30 minutes (even in the car now) what is going on?  he is also waking every 2 hours at night....he is getting worse since i started, not better.  please, please help....i don't want to give up. thank!

[Colesmom]

Hi there,

Please post a typical day.  Bedtime, when he wakes, when you try to get him down for naps.  Awake time is very important at this age as are other factors such as consistent windown, how often you feed (should be 4 hourly) etc.  With more information we can help you extend the naps.

We'll figure it out!

[rossilu]

hi ~ thanks so much!  i have posted on other threads (w/ other problems) but each day new things arise...(i hope that's ok, i'm still waiting for answers elsewhere too).  we started BW last friday and while things seemed a bit better at first now they are haywire!  before we started he woke up around 7-8 took a nap around 9-10 to about 10-11 and after that it was just eating, sleeping, playing 'on demand' (he is breastfed) then napping late (around 7-8) and finally falling asleep at 10 ~ then he'd wake once or twice in the night and go back to sleep.  now, things are more erratic than ever (especially night wakings and SHORT naps)  here is yesterdays routine (and today is not going much better) BUT i have to say, he doesn't seem to grumpy after his short naps (he is actually very smily and happy) and his oldest brother never slept much (and still doesn't at 10)  so maybe he just doesn't require it? (i HOPE that is not the case, lol) anyway here it is ~

8am - awake/activity
9 - eat
10:30 - asleep (after 30 minutes of pat/shush)
11 - awake/activity
1 - eat
2 - sleep (in car, stroller)
2:30 ish - awake
4 - eat
5 - sleep
6 - awake/activity (includes bath)
7 - eat
8 - eat
8:30 - sleep (dad put him down, took about 10 minutes)
midnight - awake/eat (full feeding)
3 - awake (feed on one side)
4 - awake (dad got back to sleep w/in 5 minutes)
5 - awake (feed on other side)
7am - awake/activity
9 - sleep
9:30 - awake/activity
10 - eat
11:30 sleep
noon - awake/activity
1 - eat/activity

it is now 3:30 and he is hungry so i'm off to feed him, but should i lay him down again or wait till closer to 5??

[Colesmom]

hi- i wonder how you made out yesterday?  I tried posting twice and the server was down 

anyway, i saved my post and here it is:

Hi there,

It looks as though your awake times are too long.  At 5 months your little one likely can't handle much longer than 1.75-2 hours at a time.  He is likely very overtired and that is why he is waking at 30 minutes and often at night.  I would suggest trying to put him down earlier than you are...and extending his naps using pat/shhh or pupd.

Also-do you try feeding him when he wakes and he's just not hungry?  You won't be able to maintain a proper EASY unless you feed him within 1/2 hour of waking.

You definitely want to aim to have him in bed for the night before 8pm.  Have you read about the dreamfeed?  I suggest doing this no later than 11pm, rather than the midnight feed.  Babies are in a deeper sleep before midnight and it won't disturb his sleep as much as feeding at midnight will.

Hang in there, it will get better.  I know it doesn't seem like it now...but it will!

[rossilu]

thanks!
i keep thinking awake times are too long as well, but sometimes he won't even fuss, but just not sleep?
ok ~ last evening
laid him down around 3:45
got him to sleep around 4:15
he slept till 4:45 (did wake up cranky, but dad got him up since another 30-40 minute pat/shush would have put him to sleep too late??)
activity till about 6:45
then we dropped big brothers off at an activity
home by 7, then we did a bath, ate and quiet time in room
asleep by 8
dream feed at 11:30
woke at 3:00 (we did pat/shush  did NOT work, so started pu/pd ~ lasted till 4:30 UGH)
woke at 5:30 - ate then slept
woke at 8
ate at 9
tried laying him down at 9:30 but he played happily in his crib till after 10 ~ never fell asleep? then he pood so i changed him and did quiet activity...it is now 10:40 should i try again? 
i have really been trying to feed him when he seems hungry (trying to get him to eat more and go longer rather than snacking all day) he is pretty efficient and doesn't really use me as a pacifier (which he won't take by the way) so when he wakes i night i usually assume he's hungry.  did we do the right thing last night?  should i not have fed him at 5:30 when he woke? or was that ok?  thanks so much!

[rossilu]

ugh, i am going crazy.  he has been up since 8 (really 7 cause he played in his crib a while b4 i actually got him up) and has only slept 30 minutes!!!!  this is nuts.  i layed him down earlier and he would not sleep so i got him up, ONLY quiet activity since then.  i layed him back down at 12:00 he was asleep by 1:00 then woke at 1:30.  please tell me that he needs more than a 1/2 hour nap in 5 hours?  please help, i don't know what to do. 

[allyson]

My dd wakes every 30 min also lately. she is 8 months but I am extending her naps by going into her room at 20-25 min and placing my hands on her. she jolts and usually wakes up then which may be happening to your baby. Since my hands were on her she got through it and slept 1.25 hours I gave her a pacifier when she went throught the jolt also and that helped sooth her back. try it. just be very still and quiet.

my DD is a very active baby and really never sits still for a bottle unless she is drowsy. just her nature. I give her a bottle close to the end of A time in her room and talk or sing quietly to keep her from falling asleep. when she is done I waite a bit and put her in her crib awake but relaxed and this works great. I do not feed her to sleep at all. I also start her bottle downstairs to get 1/2 of it in her before going upstairs.

hope this helps you.

[rossilu]

tried for a 3rd nap around 3:30, he fell asleep around 4 and was up at 4:27 on the dot....i can't stand this.  i used to nurse him for 5 minutes and he'd sleep 30 minutes, now i'm "putting him to sleep" for 30-40 minutes and he is STILL only taking 30 minute naps...doesn't seem worth it.  plus he is crying SO much more, and is so fussy (and he has always been an angel baby) maybe this system is not for us?

[Colesmom]

Hi Rossilu,

Big Hugs.  I know how hard this is.  I spent 4 weeks in a dark room doing pat/shush and pupd from August-September.  I know that's not what you want to hear, but it does get better.

I'll see what I can do to help but first, do you have Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems?  If so, are you following the guidelines to get a baby on EASY who has never had a routine before?  At this age it's very important to be feeding approximately every 4 hours so that your lo takes a good feed, and has enough time between feeds for a proper nap.  If you do have the book, the section I'm talking about is on pages 39-46. 

Also, you may want to head over to the PUPD forum to be sure you have your technique correct.  1.5 hours at the beginning is not unheard of and if you are consistent it will get shorter and shorter.  I just want to be sure you're doing it correctly.  If you hold your lo too long he could be falling asleep on your shoulder/in your arms and not learning to settle himself.

It will take a LOT of patience to get through this.  You are not alone.  It probably seems like you are surrounded by babies that will sleep anytime and anywhere but one look at this site will tell you that is certainly not the case!

so, to address your post.

First-it is very important to do the DF at 11pm or before or it will disturb your los night sleep.
 
Could you have stayed home with lo and someone else dropped off big brothers at their activity?  This excursion caused your lo to be up 3.25 hours which is quite long.  i realize we have to make concessions to the schedule sometimes, but I would try very hard not to stray too far just now as your are starting out.

Are you doing a consistent windown?  This is very important for naps and bedtime.  That way your lo knows when to expect sleep.  okay, mommy just changed my diaper, read my book and sang my lullaby, she's about to kiss me a lay me down and it's time for sleep.

If you felt he was hungry at 5:30am (and likely could be) then it's fine to feed him then.  You should have fed him again at 8am upon waking.  That's the only way you'll fit in enough feeds at approx. 4 hours between.  He might not take a full feed, it may just be a "top up".

HTH a bit.  Hang in there.  If you are consistent for a couple of weeks with A time, feeds and extending naps your lo will begin to understand what is expected of him.  It is also just a matter of his brain maturing to a stage where his sleep cycles are more adult-like.