EATING & SLEEPING - how to do it 'right'?

[verymeri]

Hi all- I am new to this site and in fact have never been in a chat room or posted a message like this. Please pardon my possible lack of etiquette and the length of this posting... I've looked at many of the postings and haven't quite found a consolidated answer for my dilemma. Long story short, I returned to work a few weeks ago and am in desperate need of a schedule for my 4 month old. I read the "whisperer" right after she was born, but failed in putting her down sleepy but awake. I am ready to give EASY another try! Her schedule right now is very lax. I have tried to get our nanny to put her on a rough schedule, but she says the baby will decide her own schedule. The problem is that if the nanny lets her do whatever she wants during the day (irregular, non-existent naps, etc), I pay for it at night! Either she falls asleep at 4pm (when I get home) and sleeps forever and messes up her night (up every 2 hours), or she does not nap and is not a fun baby to be around, and I have to force her to stay up to barely 7pm! SO I am going to write down a schedule and insist she roughly adheres to it. Another factor is that yesterday her Dr. said she can start on rice cereal. (I think it is a little early but I am having trouble pumping enough for her anyway, so I will give this a try). My question for those reading this is how to plan her eating and sleeping schedule? I was told she needs to eat rice cereal 2x a day- morning and evening. I want to implement EASY so I need to make sure her feedings do not come right before naps. She currently can NOT get to sleep on her own, and needs to eat/nurse, or sometimes I can get her to sleep by rocking her with the pacifier. I know it's bad. Once I get her on a schedule I am going to then work on getting her to sleep on her own. (Can EASY work for a short time without establishing her getting herself to sleep first? Another posting indicated that EASY would not work with 'props' but I want to work on one thing at a time, and I think the schedule is more manageable.)

Anyway, when I am with her she always needs a nap at 9am. She seems to need one late afternoon nap after I get home from work, and one in between, so 3 naps. And I start our bedtime ritual around 7 - which really is a little late because she shows signs before then but I cannot fathom putting her to bed at 6 (a short late afternon nap might help)... She wakes up 2x at night to nurse (1 or 2am and 4 or 5 am), which I am ok with. I am not going to push getting her to sleep through the night at this point. I read Dr. Weissbluth's book and have been happy with his advice so far as well. After 4 months he says naps at 9, 1, and an optional late afternoon nap, which it seems like she is asking for anyway. So I am aiming for that. Here are my ideas for a schedule, which I am going to implement starting tomorrow (I will have 3 days to get it going).

-Wake up at 7am (she is pretty consistent about this). Feed her 4 - 5 oz (or nurse if I am not at work).
-Activity
-Nap at 9am for ~1 hour - 1.5 hrs.
-Up at 10 to 10:30. Drink a little breastmilk, eat rice cereal, little more bottle/nursing. By the way does she HAVE to have milk before and after eating solids?
-Activity
-Nap at 12:30
-Up at 1:30. Nurse or 4 - 5 oz bottle.
-Short nap around 4pm. Maybe just 30 minutes?
- 5:00 dinner - milk, rice cereal, milk like before.
- Activity
- Nurse and bed time starting at 7pm. Eventually put in crib drowsy but awake.
- two night wakings for now. Start it all over at 7am.

Is this a typical schedule for a 4 month old? This is my first baby so I have no idea. Like I said I have not been doing EASY, so timing the eating not around naps seems a little tough. I am sure you think I am a NUTS control freak, but seriously for me to be back at work I need this. It is SO frustrating to come home and have no idea where she's at with her eating, sleeping, and mood. My nanny is not that great at writing down when she naps and eats, so I come home and stare into a blank page! I am working on getting the nanny to include her afternoon activities (she does document the morning). Not to mention, my husband watches her on Wednesdays so he would probably benefit from having a rough guideline. AND most importantly our LO would have consistency, even though her caregivers change from me to my husband to the nanny. Anyway, does it sound like she would be getting enough to eat? Enough sleep?  I am certain my baby will fall right into place with whatever we establish. She is a textbook baby, and really easy going. However, I have noticed her showing signs of having an 'opinion' about sleeping and naps recently, so i want to get her on a schedule before she gets older and more 'opinionated'!! 

Thank you for any advice you have to offer!

[Taylor's Mommy]

Hello and welcome to the site!  Also, congrtaulations on your daughter and returning to work.  A lot of change for you recently, so it only makes sense that you would want to establish some sort of equlibrium in your dd's routine for your sanity and her well being.

With that being said, I think a lot of your post mainly deals with starting EASY, so what I would like to do is move your post to the EASY forum which is under Activity.  I hope you don't mind.  I will answer a couple of your questions though:

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Can EASY work for a short time without establishing her getting herself to sleep first? Another posting indicated that EASY would not work with 'props' but I want to work on one thing at a time, and I think the schedule is more manageable

Think of EASY as just a routine/sequence of events that will help guide you and your lo throughout the day.  It helps your dd know what to expect, which young infants find comforting, and it also helps you anticipate her needs better.  So if she just woke from a nap, you know she will probably be hungry, or if she has been up for 2 hours and she starts getting cranky, probably time for a nap.
The issue with props like rocking/feeding to sleep, is that it prohibits your lo learnign how to fall asleep independently.  This is a different issue than the routine, but because with the routine you will be no longer feeding to sleep, you will eliminate one prop.  Which means that in the meantime until you start teaching independent sleep, you may be doing a lot of rocking 

Once you decide to tackle the independent sleep thing, you may want to use the PU/PD technique (which we also have a forum dedicated entirely to that topic).  This is a technique that teaches babies to fall asleep on their own without the use of a prop, but without being left to cry it out, which Tracy was strongly against.

Do you have the new book the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems?  It is awesome and discusses all of the topics you have brought up.  (and no, I do not get paid to recommend it! I really believe it is a great book  )

If you have specific questions on naps once you get started, please let us know.  In the meantime the ladies in the EASY forum should be able to help you out w/ your routine, which btw looks pretty good.

[Noelle]

Hello 

Your desired routine looks pretty well.  4months old definitely need 3 naps, maybe even 4 if they are taking short ones.  The one thing you might want to keep an eye on is the awake time.  2-2.5 hrs might be too long for her.  Try to read her tired cues....if you see a yawn, start your wind down routine.

As far as solids go...if you are going to start at 4 months I, personally, would start with one meal first until she gets used to it.  You can help wash it down with a bottle afterwards but you don't have to (I never did).  But in reality, there is no right or wrong exactly.  I do suggest though the breast/bottle first because the majority of their calories should come from the milk.

Is there any way you can change nannies?  You are paying her to watch your dd - she should be doing what you want and how you want?  I know that's hard. {{HUGS}}