4 months olf and starting an EASY schedule, but need HELP!!

[kiras_mommy]

Hi there. First time mommy here that is needing some HELP!! We have somewhat of an estabilshed routine but are just starting with the EASY system. This is what we are/haivng been working toward.

7 am: awake and eat
7:30 - 9:15: play
9:15 down for nap and in bed usually asleep by 9:30
9:45-10:00 am: awake (she will often lay in bed with no problems f0or about 30 minutes, but then fuss.
keep trying PU/PD until around 11 am..
11 am: awake and eat
11:30 - 1:00 play
1:00 relax for nap
1:15-1:30- nap: often get 45 minutes but not even that long
2:00 -3:00 awake in bed and often have to do PU/PD until (3)
3:00: awake and eat
3:30 -5:00 play
5:00 snack and often 30 minutes cat nap
5:30-6:30 play
6:30 bath and book time
7:30 usually asleep by 8:30 or so...
10:15-10:30 dream feed
usually will sleep unitl 7 am with no problem..

Ok..with all of that said.. here is my issue.. I am stil STRUGLING WITH NAPS!! I am just about to give... and it is about to kill me.. she will still only sleep for about 20-30 minutes most of the time (I often get really lucky and get 30-45 minutes) and I do not know what else to do.. Does any one have any other suggestions for the naps..

[rachelle26]

Hi there...

I am not an expert by any means as I am a new mom of a 2 month old but here is what I do and have found it to be successful for the 45 minute nap issues.  first of all, we do a wind down routine for each nap time and bedtime... the naptime is a bit different than the nighttime but here is what we do.  He eats (15-20min) then we have activity time (activity mat, etc. for 20 min or so) then we head to his room for wind down activity time...normally I lay him on the floor, with dim lights (we use nightlight) and lullabye music playing, then we either look at black/white pics or a book once I see his tired cues.. .I swaddle him, rock him for 5 min and put to bed.

As for waking after 30 min-45 min.. I've been doing the wake to sleep method.  That is putting LO down to sleep after 30-35 minutes I go back into his room and watch for him to move into the next sleep cycle (babies sleep cycles are only 45 min long) once he starts to stir and seems to be moving into the next sleep cycle... I put my hands on his chest/legs to help with any jolting (which is minimized by the swaddling but pressure helps too) and then pat his bottom... I only shshsh if he starts to really fuss and will insert paci again if necessary.  We do this for about 15 min until he is completely resettled and dozing back to sleep... then I leave the room and he will normally sleep another 1.5 hours or more. 

It's time consuming but it's working and knowing that around 3-4 months old they learn to put themselves to sleep I know I'm helping him learn to go back to sleep after he wakens.  You may not need to do this for very long before your LO learns how to put himself back to sleep after moving into that next sleep cycle.

Hope that helps!

[Intransit]

I had the same issue when my son was about the same age. Sound like you are doing OK.As the previous poster said a wind down routine is really beneficial...also..just stick to attempting to put your dd back to sleep after she has woken up 20, 30 etc minutes after she has fallen asleep. I remember it take 45 minutes to get it to work, and a few days of that too--  BUT eventually he got the hang of it, and now puts himself to sleep etc. If you are noticing a consistent period of time in which she wakes up, then go into the room before she is starting to stir..rubbing her back, or whatever she prefers(patting/shhing etc) when she starts to stir. Do you use a paci? I had to, my son was the worst sleeper...but the paci really calms him down, and it is only used for nap time, just to get him to that stage where hes really asleep, then out it comes. Question, how long has this been happening for? Good Luck!

[j9lovesbella]

My daughter hated the paci but loved her bottle.  I would wait for her sleep cycle as mentioned before and then put her bottle in her mouth and let her suck/eat herself into her next sleep cycle.  When I started doing this I started getting a lot more progress with naps and night time sleep as well.  Once she was able to teach herself to get past the cycle she started taking a 2-3 cycle nap.  Then the prop wasn't necessary anymore because she'd learned the skill.  However, I highly recommend using a paci if he'll take it.  I used to have this same exact problem... 20 mintues naps all day... 9 times a day and poor night time sleep too.  Until I used the bottle to get her through her naps and now she'll go 7-9 hours in one block at night and takes 1-3 hour naps.  You have to commit yourself to at least 5 days of working on it and you can't leave his/her side because you've gotta be there for the cycle.  4 months is hard... i know mine is 4.5 right now and big changes happen at 4 months.  Hang in there and nip it in the butt while you can!  Good Luck

[Deb_in_oz]

what BW books do you have / have you read?  do you know your lo temperment?

i really think your l.o is overtired - if you are keeping her up from from 7-9:15, takes 15 min to go to sleep and then wakes at 9:45 i woudl first suggest you cut back her awake time and second when/if she wakes early fromnaps you start counting her A time from then if you do not hget her back to sleep (so for that second nap on your post you put her down after 1pm but she had only had a VERY short nap at the 1st nap, so by 1pm+ she woudlk have been to exhausted to have a good sleep and so the cycle continues)

what tired signs are you getting from her and when?
what happens whe you take her to her room to "relax" for the nap and when you put her down - is she crying or just settling herself

if her tired signs are unlcear i woudl suggest you try putting her down 1hr 30 after wake up tomrrow and see if that improves things. if the shorter A time hps the first cycle and she naps reasonably well, then you can look at the 2nd cycle and see if she can handle 1hr 45 - if it results in a short nap then you know it is too much. if it goes well, then you can try 1hr 50 at the next oe etc you do trial and erro working back up form 1hr 30 to see what her ideal "a" time is as it sounds like she is currenlty awake for too long (even if soem of that time is spent in her bed and you doing PU/PD - iof she does not go back down for more naptime she is not rested enough to get through another full cycle of A time) 

i hope that makes sense and is somewhat helpful. if you have more info for me i can try to help more spoecifically but i have based my response simply on the info in your original post.  BTW i agree with PP that woindowns are inportant in setting the stage for sleep - the trick is finding the windown that works for your lo - this is where temperment comes into play again as some temp. like a very short settling and into bed and others like the 20 min rock, lullaby etc It is important to find what is relaxing for your lo - if she is pulling away from you or getting agitated she is telling you she does not want the cuddles/rocking (as my dd2 let me know)

[jessica5]

Hi Kira's Mom,

I was relieved to see your post and find that there's another mom trying to start EASY at 4 months.  If it makes you feel any better, I think you're a lot farther along than me with this.   My first daughter was an Angel/Textbook baby, so she sort of got into the EASY routine without any guidance. 

My second daughter, Heather, has been very different.  I've been trying to track her routine to then work from there to gradually tweak it, but I'm discovering that she has no routine.   I made the mistake of assuming that she'd naturally fall into one, just like my older daughter.

I'm having the same nap issues as you, Heather wakes after 30 to 45 minutes (on a good day).  I've just bought the 3rd Tracy Hogg book and it's got lots of great advice with really detailed descriptions of what to do.  For the past several days, I've been doing the "Shh/Pat" at nap times to try and get Heather to sleep a bit longer..... it's slow going, but I think it's working.

I've also been trying this at bedtime (I use the same routine before nap and bed.... dim lights, soft music, quiet diaper change, soothing talk.... then snuggle in blanket and lay in crib).  Heather goes to sleep pretty well at about 8:00.  I give her a dream feed at about 11:00.  My big issue is that she keeps waking up at 3:00 AM.  If I give her another bottle, she drinks it and goes back to sleep until about 6:30.  If Itry "shh/pat" she continues to fuss. 

Heather has been very slow to gain weight and may have mild reflux (according to the pediatrician).... so I'm wary of holding off on her feedings for over three hours..... but I think, after doing some reading of Tracy's third book, I've gotten into some accidental parenting.  Heather seems to want most of her feedings for the day at night..... so, I'm trying to move her to eat more during the day.

How much does your daughter eat?  Heather has never had more than 5 ounces at one feeding - and I struggle to get her to drink that much.  I know she should have at least 25 - 28 ounces a day, and we're having a hard time with getting her to take that much.

Keep us posted as to how you're doing!