Still confused about A time

[Claire Marie's mommy]

Hi, Sorry to keep posting about this, but we can't seem to get it figured out.  DD is 9 1/2 mo. old. We recently moved to 3 hours of A time before morning and afternoon nap.  We did great for about a week and a half, but the past week has been rough.  Nap routine looks like this:   story, swaddle legs, walk around the house for about 10 min until I see sleepy signs, then into room, music and slow dance then into crib.  During AM nap routine, she has been OK, but when we go into room and turn on music, she  starts to fuss and burrows her head into my chest.  I wait until she gets calm and then put her down.  Ususally a few whimpers and then goes to sleep for about 1.15 which is pretty normal.  PM nap routine is getting worse.  She starts to whine during walk around house. I haven't seen to many sleepy signs, but it has been 3 hours, so I figure I must have missed them and we go to her room.  When I turn on music she starts to whine again and burrows her head like she's trying to find a comfortable spot.  Then often will start to chatter and pull at my hair and glasses.   Sometimes she will calm down and go to sleep with a little fuss, but today, she started really bawling when I laid her down.  I left the room anyway because sometimes she will calm down, but not this time.  I waited a  minute or so and then went in and gave her the paci.  She cried for a few min. and then went to sleep.  Problem is that when she falls asleep this way, it is almost always a 30 min. nap.   What am I doing wrong??  Does this sound like overtired? or does it sound like not tired enough?  I'm really not sure.  Maybe do we need to change our routine? Am I holding her for too long? I'm so confused!  Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Jessica

[Meg's Mom]

Hi

Sorry you are having troubles.  I found this post i wrote when my LO this age:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php/topic,33427.0.html

I was wondering about your wind down, how long is it?  Is her A time 3hrs + wind down Or 3hrs total??  She may need a short wind down and longer time to settle her self.  The more independent sleep you can offer for older infants the better.

[Claire Marie's mommy]

Thank you for the reply and the link.  Our A time is 3 hours and that includes wind down.  I try to have her in the crib by the 3 hour mark give or take a few minutes. She is honestly getting so hard to read these days.  Yesterday after all of that fuss, she slept for an hour and 10 min.  I think it must have been because she had the paci.  This morning, I put her down at 2 hours and 50 min. and she went to sleep beautifully.  So I'm wondering if I've been keeping her up to long.  I think I will try getting her into the crib at 2 hours and 50 min.  this afternoon and see if she will use the remaining time to wind herself down. 

     When you went to set naps, did it seem to help?  I've been wondering if I should do this or not, but I'm worried because her wake up time shifts from week to week by as much as an hour.  I've decided not to let her sleep past 6:30, which  is about the average time she wakes.  Anyway, thanks for answering.  I know this board keeps you all very busy!

Jessica

[Meg's Mom]

sounds like a good plan..stick w/ that for at least a few days MIN.

Here is what i wrote regarding the set naps, it did help some...but the biggest help was making sure she fell asleep indenpendtly.

Problem:
When our LO went to 2 naps she immediately cut her naps to 60min each.  I didn't fight it, but she woke crying and cranky so she was definitely tired. Note: I didn't think I had the will to do nap training again. You see Meg did the 45min nap thing at 3mos and every time she was ready to drop a nap. Every time we have fixed it by extending A time and shh/pat or slipping paci in as she stirred.   Her naps were getting shorter and shorter (down to 30min). Nights- no problem. Why the difference, I do exactly the same thing for day and night?

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Strategy/Result:
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I read every book I could find on sleep from re-reading Tracy's book, Mindel, Ferber & Weisbuth.   The reason: I give her a 2oz bottle before naps and after a while I slipped into putting her into the crib almost asleep.   This was the problem - As she woke after the first sleep cycle, she wasn't able to put herself back to sleep. The bottle was no longer there! Some how I knew instinctively that increasing awake time wasn’t the issue this time.

We just spent the past 3 days re-training - my plan:
* have set times for naps 9.30 & 2.00 (although now that she is sleeping longer I will try 2.30).
* ensure she is relaxed but awake before putting her into the crib
* change Nap routine to ensure feed wasn’t last thing she did (and eventually eliminate completely).
* when she woke early, use shh/pat for just a few minutes
* let her re-settle herself. NOT CIO but let her put herself to sleep again. Re-checking/re-settling if she was really upset.

IT worked!  The past 2 days her am nap has been 1.45 and her pm 1.15 (we are still working on the pm nap).

I am a believer in extending awake time to fix the 45min nap problem, but I had forgotten that you must put them to bed relaxed but awake (hence allowing them to fall asleep independently).  Also ensure that your nap wind down does not include a prop that won’t be there when they wake up or transition from sleep cycles?" (for me it was the bottle).   I also found that I must combine shh/pat or some other soothing method w/ extending the A time as the 45min thing quickly becomes a habit.