Pat/Sh - a prop?

[The Vern]

I'm confused.  I have a 4wk old and we have her more or less on a 3 hr EASY.  But we're struggling with the S.  She'll spend sometimes a full cycle with eyes wide as saucers even after us catching and acting on the early tired signs. What should we be doing? Spend the entire time trying to settle her?  How long should we pat/sh for? Also, I'm wondering how pat/sh is not a prop just as much as rocking or carrying is, if pat/sh puts her to sleep does she not become dependent on it eventually? Thanks,  Maria

[cy]

Hi when CJ was 4 weeks we basically let him decide when he wanted to sleep because we found that when we did put him to sleep to his schedule he did the same and then began to associate his crib with not wanting to go to sleep so we waited for the signs but didn't act until we got a good few yawns so then he was in control of when he felt he needed sleep and associated his crib with sleep time and not i'm not ready time.
I know routine is important but to be honest we got rid of CJ's routine until he started showing more waking times, remember every baby is different and sometimes it's better to read there signs and not what should be or you've read should be happening. But thats just personally my view.
CJ is now six months and loves his cot and knows what it's for he has been on his routine now since 8 weeks and is working a treat through the day and nap times .
Hope this helps and remember don't beat yourself up to much about what he should be doing look at your baby and see what they want.
  xxx

[madeleine18]

Do you use pat/sh when she is in her cot?  If you do then you are helping her to settle and fall asleep in her cot.  This totally different to rocking to sleep as rocking means your lo falls asleep in your arms and not in her cot.  I have a 12 week old and I swaddle him with one arm out and I pat/sh him for a few mins if he is over tired, then I put him in his cot usually at the beginning of stage three.  If he does not settle I pat his back and say sh near his ear.  Because I have been sleep training since he was 4.5 weeks I can get him down in about 5/10mins but it took me a while to get to this stage.  The most important thing is to be consistant in your bedtime and naptime routines and you will eventually see progress.  Hope this is helpful and good luck.

[The Vern]

Thanks for your replies.  To answer your question, I cuddle her in the chair (no rocking, just some pat/sh) for a few minutes until she's settled and calm and on the verge, then put her in the crib. I continue pat/sh for a couple of minutes. I'm unsure if the pat/sh should go on until she's in deep sleep?  My concern then would be that it does become a prop.  I have a friend who had to pat/rub her daughter's back for 4 years, and that's a scenario I don't want to get into. 

Also, my back is killing me from leaning over the crib to pat/sh - any great back-saver ideas???

Thanks, Maria

[Jaime]

Also, my back is killing me from leaning over the crib to pat/sh - any great back-saver ideas???

put the crib mattress up as high as it will go, and pull up a chair for you.  then (usually), you can sit and be at the right height to pat/shhh.  works wonders!   

[EASYconfusedMom]

She'll spend sometimes a full cycle with eyes wide as saucers even after us catching and acting on the early tired signs.

Not sure if it is the same with such a young infant as it was with mine, but when I started sleep training around 7 month, I noticed that at night when she woke up, I would calm her with a combination pat/sush and pupd and then she would just lie in her crib and stare at me or the mobile or whatever, but not go to sleep.  After sitting with her for over an hour and a half, I had to give up!  What someone point out to me was that she was being engaged by my presence.  I had to not keep eye contact with her once she calmed down and started staring.  I also wasn't letting her get to sleep by herself, and it became more like I was the one keeping her awake with my intervention.  Once I started backing off entirely at that point, she would cry for a bit at first, but then would calm herself and get to sleep.  Now when she starts stareing, I know that she is in the final phase before letting go, so I just leave her to it!

Just something to thing about, not sure how it might translate to your situation though.

Jennifer (& Ashleigh)

[madeleine18]

I do pat/shh until my ds's breathing becomes slower then I stop and observe him.  When he has his stage 3 jolts I do not intervene unless he begins to cry.  I observe about three jolts and if he has not woken himself up I leave the room.