Please help.....we are ready to give up!

[aaronsmommy]

Hello!
  We started pu/pd with our ds a little less then a month ago.  When we started he was waking up once a night and it would take a while to get him down.  Naps were awful and short.  Now, he is much better at getting himself back to sleep if he stirs, but not always.  We can put him in his crib when he is not completely asleep and with us standing there he will fall asleep, sometimes this can take a while.   And naps are sooo much better all around.  However, he is now waking several times a night where he is standing up in his crib and screaming.  Standing is not a new thing and he does know how to get down on his own.  We will do pu/pd ot just pd, but then he only stays asleep for a few hours.  We are up constantly and feel like we want to give up.  In the book Tracy says it takes a while...what is a while?  And why is it worse?  We would give ANYTHING to have him wake only once again...evenif that meant it took a while to get him back.  Please help me, my dh wants to ferberize him.

Thanks!

[tracy4499]

I’ve just come to think that once children arrive, we’re not supposed to sleep anymore   .  My daughter is 19 months and we are having similar problems with night wakings.  She was doing so well for about a month….  Sleeping through the night and recently she was waking up 4-5 times a night screaming. At first I would rock her back to sleep, but read a couple of sleep books and now understand that that is a big “no-no”. By the time 7:00 rolls around we are both exhausted.

We tried everything and finally had to let her cry out and have noticed that after about a week and a half, the crying is much less and last night she slept through the night for the first time in a long time.  The first couple of nights were horrible.  It wasn’t until my husband was talking to her about she was suppose to do in bed did I realize I had been hoodwinked into rocking her all those nights.  When my husband asked my dd what she was suppose to do in bed she replied by giving us a short performance of  her screaming and jumping up and down act  and then giggled.  After that I didn’t feel so bad. 

Good luck.  Just keep at it, hopefully it will get better.

[Katet]

Firstly I wouldn't recommend ferberizing at this age as separation anxiety is a big issue & probably part of the problem. I would suggest just doing pd, wait until your lo is standing & then put him down. Only respond if he is upset, if he is just making noise then hard as that is to ignore, you really do need to as that is going to help him learn  to go back to sleep on his own faster.
I would also make sure you sttart to leave BEFORE he falls asleep, as at 10mo, he will have a sleep association with you staying with him, this will be a gradual thing, where you may need to go in & out many times (much like pu/pd).
Developmentally 6-12months is a difficult stage & you really have to be 100% consistent with the method you choose otherwise you end up confusing your lo & all the effort is wasted. stick with it 100% & it will get better

[aaronsmommy]

Thanks for the advice.  My wonderful hsband, yes, the one who wanted to ferberize him, has been doing most of this.  And he is doing a great job.  I'll keep you posted.....we may have questions