New here: Erratic Night Wakings for 3 mo. Old

[MatthewsMommy]

Hi,
I am new here but not new to the Baby Whisperer. I read the book prior to my son being born in Nov and been doing EASY ever since he was born. I do have a few questions. I never did the Dream Feed as I was concerned about feeding him in his sleep and him spitting up or chocking or something? I also tried it a few times and he won't even take the bottle asleep, so I'd take him out of crib, feed him then and he STILL woke up in the middle of the night so I just never did it.  I am wondering if I should try it now and let me tell you what's going on.

First of all about 3 weeks ago he was sleeping thru the night - from about 9PM to 7-8AM. Then about 10 days ago he woke up at 4AM. Then day after that - 1AM and 4AM for about 4 nights. Then back to once a night - this time at 5AM. (BTW, each time he wakes I feed him but not as much as during the day - I feed him 4 oz, not his usual 6). The 5AM I can handle cause he goes to bed between 8 and 9. Now however it's changing again and last night he was up at 3AM. I assume cause it's erratic he's hungry but he's eating every 3 hours and getting 5-6 ounces each feed. He also weighs over 12lbs.  I am concerned he will come to "expect" the dream feed if I start it and wake up, and I know he can sleep thru the night without feedings as he's done it before.

I do swaddle him, we have white noise in the bedroom and we have always put him down to sleep on his own in his crib from day we brought him home. He has no trouble falling asleep on his own because of this (although he needs to be swaddled) but it's the waking up that's getting hard on me. I have tried to soothe him with his pacifier to see if he'll go back to sleep but he wails. When I do feed him he acts starving and gulps it down.

Anyway wanted to see if suggestions - should I start dream feeds now or just wait this out since he's slept thru night before without them?

Thank you - and love the EASY system and glad I have done it from the beginning! BTW, I also tried some demand feeding for about a week per my pediatrician and that was a nightmare so I went back to this.

Lauren

[Tori's Mom]

If the waking are erratic and he is gulping down the food, I would say he is hungry.  You might try giving him one 6 oz bottle and see if that stops the other wakings.  If he starts to wake and expect the food at a certain time, slowly back the time up in 30 min intervals until you reach the dreamfeed time you want.  Just an idea,
Good luck!

[LisbonMom]

Although I'm also having night problems with my 3-month old, so I'm no expert, you sound like you've hit the 3 month growth spurt. You have 3 clues right there: his age, erratic wakings and gulping down the food. I'd suggest upping his intake during the day and  continue the dreamfeed. Hope you can get some zzz's soon!

Sara

[MatthewsMommy]

thanks guys - actually though I do not do a dream feed - which was really my question - do I add one? I had tried doing that a few weeks ago and as I stated he won't take it when he's asleep. When I wake him to take it, it never helped and he still woke up in the middle of the night. Do I start it again? Also don't growth spurts only last a few days? He takes up to 6oz in the day, sometimes 5 but I don't think he'll take more and my doctor said 4-6 oz, 4-6 times a day so I do not want to up his formula in the day.

Reason I give him 4 oz at night is I was trying to "wean" him off his night feedings - a friend of mine's Nanny said to give 4 oz, then 3, then 2 then none. Well we tried the 4 and that's fine but the 3 he was screaming for more so that didn't work. That was her solution and she said to let him cry it out but I can't do that.

Anyway, just want to know if I should start a dream feed or just wait this out since he was sleepig thru the night WITHOUT a dream feed prior to about a week ago.

Thanks,
Lauren

[Tori's Mom]

Growth spurts can last up to 10 days (if I remember correctly).  My dd just started sleeping through the night (not just from eating) this month because I just can't let her cio.  It is my thought that if the baby is  hungry feed him.  You might try giving 8 oz. bottles during the day....not to go against your Dr, but he just may be a big eater!
Just a thought...

[MatthewsMommy]

I feel 8 oz is too much and also he barely finishes his 6 (why it's sometimes 5oz).  We just upped his 5 oz each meal to 6 and he doesn't always finish that but I always offer 6.

Maybe he should be on the 3.5 hour easy? At his last feed he wasn't that interested in finishing - took forever - he kept turning away and this happened a few times yesterday too. I wonder if he's eating too soon? Or maybe it is a growth spurt then. I will offer him 6 oz at night then (although if he wakes up TWICE do I do 6oz for each?)

He was sleeping thru the night about 10 days ago with no dream feed - 8-9 PM to 7-8AM and was wonderful. I just want it back!!

Thanks,
Lauren

[Mom2katiebug]

I'm no expert by any means, but you may try extending his feeds and see what happens.  Is he hungry at 3 hours?  If not, try 3.5 hours.   You may find that he eats more at each feed, but you may find that the daytime total is still about the same.  He may just need the nighttime feed until he can incorporate those "nighttime calories" into the daytime totals. 

Also, I've never been successful with a DF with my DD.  But some have said that it can take a week or two before it does eliminate the other nighttime wakings.  I've never been able to continue with the DF with the other wakings, but am giving it another go.  (DD has been sick and waking every 3hours anyhow.  Am trying to figure out how to eliminate the "extra" nighttime wakings and figure that the 11pm one is the easiest to keep.)

[MatthewsMommy]

Thanks Casey - may try the 3.5 hour, however today he was screaming 2 hours after his 5:30 PM feeding and we gave him 2 oz (we tried everything else and he never screams unless he's hungry) and he gulped it down. He's having his last feed now (my husband's feeding him) and we offered him 8oz as we did last night as last night he also wanted more than his usual 6 and he slept from 9 to 5 which works for me. I can handle 5, it's the 1,2 and 3AM AND the 5 that's so hard!

Anyway will try juggling this a bit - thanks again everyone! And Casey hope your baby feels better!
Lauren

[Mom2katiebug]

I'm so darn jealous of all the babies (and their lucky mommies) who eat well.  My little Katiebug just won't eat more than 3 oz. consistently.  At this rate, she'll be 12 before she sleeps through the night!!

[dionne]

I am new here as well!!!!!!
I have a 3 month old boy who alos wakes twice a night but generally at the same times.  He goes to sleep around 7pm wakes at 1:30 and again at 4am .I feed him those times however he doesn't gulp down the bottle as if he was starving!  But will take his time to drink about 4 ounces. 
Wondering how to put an end to this night waking.  He also uses a paci for bedtime only and when I put the paci in (instead of feeding) he will wake an hour later!!!!!!

[Mom2katiebug]

Dione - It sounds like he's hungry.  They don't have to gulp it down to need the nighttime calories.  Katie used to have this schedule and I could do the 2 wakings.  She'd eat and in about 20 minutes I'd be back to dreamland.  Now she's up every 2-3 hours.  It's just about killing me and CIO doesn't seem so bad when you are this sleep deprived!

[sleepy mum]

Hi am also new to this site and sounds like I'm having very similar problem - my dd was sleeping through the night from 7pm to 5 or 6 am with only 4 feeds a day of about 6oz.  She also would not take the dream feed so we stopped it and only fed her once during the night when she woke.  This time started at 2am then 3 then 4 until she didn't need it and we had blissful 10 nights of sleep.  Suddenly she started waking at midnight then 1,2 etc and have not had decent night's sleep fpr 5 nights now.  THink possibly she's teething and/or having growth spurt so have gone back to giving her one feed at about 2am.  she then slept till 7am last night. Think I will just continue with this for a bit and hope that the same thing happens again with her gettign later and later to wake.  Hopefully once we start on solids maybe she won't need the night time feed then.  Although I have no advice to give I hope it helps to know you're not alone!! Trish xxx

[tonkagal]

 ::)Hey there, I am new here too, but my dd, now 4 months, had a growth spurt last month and was eating every 3 hours during the day, but with the dream feed was able to get thru to at least 4 am - and all I did then was put her soother back in and she slept thru till 7 am ... She is solely breastfed, so I have no idea how many ounces she gets, but her df I just let her drink until she falls asleep again....
Here is her routine....
0700 awake and feed x 15 min and quiet activity
0800 nap
1030 - 1100 - wake up and feed
1100 - 1230 - activity of some sort
1230 - nap
1400 - 1500 - wake up - depends on what I am doing - out or at home
1500 - feed x 20 min
activity for up to 2 hours
1700 - 1830 or so - nap
1900 - eat.....and quiet activity for about an hour or so
2030 - sleep
2300 - df
0300 or 0400 on most nights - put the plug back in !!!
AND REPEAT!!!

GOOD LUCK!

[MatthewsMommy]

hey all the other newbies! Am glad I am not the only one with these issues! Frustrating, huh? Dionne, sounds like we are on the same schedule with our babies?

Well what went from bad got worse - last 2 nights my DS was up EVERY 2 hours - this is after he slept from 9-5 on Friday night. Then Sat he was up at 3, 5, 7, 9- last night was the worst- went to bed at 8, woke up at 10, fed him again, then he woke up at 1:30 - didn't feed him- kept giving him Paci -  he went back to sleep until 2 - woke again - gave Paci - slept until 3, woke again - this time I went down to warm some formula and he stopped crying during that time and had gotten himself back to sleep and slept until 5 this time - fed him (cause he usually gets fed at 5AM) then he slept until 8. I am exhausted and no clue what's going on. Maybe it's NOW a growth spurt and wasn't before? He will be 3 mos on Thurs. I can't even see straight. I was really hoping he'd sleep thru the night at 3 mos- or at least the ONE time feeding wasn't as bad but every 2 hours?

Here's his schedule as an FYI:
8AM - wake and feed (he takes 5-6 oz per feeding)
9:30 nap (sometimes 45 min, sometimes 90 - depends on day - this is for ALL naps)
11AM - feed
12:30- nap
2PM - feed
3:30 - nap
5PM - feed
6-7- a small cat nap
7-7:30- bathtime about 4x a week (not every night and I noticed it doesn't make a difference in his sleep)
8:00- final feed
9:00 - sleep
2, 3 or 5AM he's up - sometimes 2x, sometimes 1x - (except last 2 nights where he was up every 2 hours basically). I will feed if he's up 2x or even 1x, but last night I didn't cause it was every 2 hours.

I don't do a dream feed- have tried them and he seems to get up more if I do it so stopped. Cluster feeding doesn't work as he's never hungry for that.

Any suggestions on fixing these wakings, esp the last few? Also when he does wake - how much should I give? his usual feeding of 6 oz? If it's every 2 hours I can't do that obviously. I feel he's getting plenty to eat.

Someone told me to decrease his middle of the night feeding each night so the first night 6 oz, then 4, 3, 2 and then nothing. Well I tried that and got as far as the 2nd one and he was screaming for 30 min "cause he didn't get enuf"- so I stopped. Not sure if that's a good suggestion? She said he's big enuf to not need to wake for feedings. He also has white noise in bedroom and is swaddled. He is trying to find his hands but I've tried not swaddling him and he won't sleep at all.

Not sure on his weight but last month at his 2 mos checkup he was 11lbs and 5oz - he's probably well over 12 or even 13 now? He doesn't look like he misses any meals - LOL!

Thanks
Lauren

[Mom2katiebug]

Lauren - Was reading BW Solves Your Probs as we have some night waking issues with my 3.5MO DD.  I really believe she doesn't need to wake so much and am starting to believe she only should be eating once during the night (amybe a DF) - especially after reading Tracy's last book.  There was a 5MO who was still waking every 2 hours to eat (i.e. snack) all night.  Tracy's solution was to cluster feed (doesn't work for my LO) and a Dream Feed and then no more feeds at all.  They did PU/PD when the baby woke up.  This wasn't a gradual thing that they eased into - just no more feeds one night.  It was a terrible night (as you can imagine), but the baby ate a full breakfast feed and better daytime feeds and the second night only woke 2 times and went back to sleep with PU/PD.  Do you have the book?  It's on p. 120 and 121.

Good luck and let us know if you find something that works!

[deenz]

Just wanted to say that I had tried the DF earlier on, but found it didn't work.  Then I tried it again just after 3m, and it did start to work - mind you, she still woke at 1am ish, but I knew she wasn't hungry then, so I used the paci to get her back to sleep.  This eventually worked.  But I have to say that after that we found she was waking multiple times per night for the paci, so it was time to get rid of it (at 4m).  Shortly after that my dd started sleeping through from 7pm - 7am (with a DF).  Dd is bf.  Oh yes, and dd had also slept through the night at 11 wks 3 times without the DF, but I don't think that was ideal at her age (small baby, and not a great feeder).  Must have just been a funny 'blip'!!

[MatthewsMommy]

Hi,
I do have the Baby Whisperer Answers all your Questions - just got it and not done reading it but went to page 120 - last night DS woke up at 1AM and I did the paci for about an hour - he would fall asleep, wake, etc. after an hour he stayed asleep until his usual 5AM and then I fed him. I hope the 1Am goes away but will keep doing this. He is getting 6 feedings a day - speaking of which something that confuses me, Tracy states if they get enuf in the day they won't need any at night but if they are eating every 3 hours aren't the PROGRAMMED to want to eat every 3 hours even at night? I tend to think that's why he wakes - I don't see how he knows the difference between his day feedings and night feedings and he probably expects to eat? That just confuses me.

Thanks,
Lauren

[deenz]

Day sleep and night sleep are different, and I think they are 'organised' in different parts of the brain.  I'm not sure how long it takes for babies to sort this out though, I think maybe 3 or so months from memory.  Also, you help them to learn the difference between night and day feeds by keeping night feeds very low key (low lighting, no/minimal talking or eye-contact etc).  Having said that, some babies do feed 3hrly round-the-clock in the beginning, but by 3m there should be at least one longer stretch overnight.

[estherofi20]

hi all
I know how frustrating is not to sleep!!!!!
Well ok the DF started working to cut the 2am feed when Paul was about 10 WO , and i did the cluster too, so it did take a while for us to work, and also there was a 8day period when he didn't take the DF, but i kept going for it, finally he took it again, but he was still waking at 4-5ish am to feed , so one day i decided to try and ...give him wate :-Xr, and guess what... he took it the first day, he woke up 2 days after that and then he stopped, so you coudl try that. and he sometimes wakes for his paci, but only once at nigth so its great for me now.
Now i keep giving him the DF because he sleeps until 6-7ish am , i guess i woudl totally recommend it but it takes time for the LO's to work it out.
Good Luck!!!