Is this ok?

[Carmela's Mom]

So what do you think?  for the most part, Carmela is napping well and sleeping through the night well.  Once in awhile (about once a week) she won't take a nap.  I put her down at her nap time and she will talk/play the entire time.  Well what I did last week and this week was go into her room (after 1.5 hours!)and just stand next to her crib with my head on her crib and my eyes closed (so she doesn't try to play with me) when I do this, within 15 minutes she's asleep.  I think because she is afraid to play with me there and has nothing else to do.....I had to do this last week as well and it didn't seem to interrupt her at all.....am I just going to cause problems by this?

[Carmela's Mom]

It looks like I can answer my own question...yesterday I got her down at 2:15...she slept until 3:30.  I put her to bed at 7:15 and she didn't fall asleep until 8 or later.  She woke up at 6 a.m. which cleary was not enough sleep for her.  She was a MONSTER all morning.  We went to a playdate and got home and I put her in the crib at her regular 12:30 and there is no sleep in sight.  I'm wondering if she expects me to just go in there like I did yesterday?   So to be sure that's nto the issue, I won't be going in anymore.  I just wish she'd nap...I NEED A NAP TODAY!

[Lan]

I posted in an answer to another of your posts that I thought your daughter might have a sleep association problem with her cot. Since I had to do sleep training on myself for insomnia, I learnt you sleep better if you keep your bed for sleep, and not for reading, watching TV, working etc. So I decided to do the same with my son. I only have couple of soft toys in his cot for him to cuddle - no exciting games or anything. I almost never put him in the cot for a play period (only do it if he asks to), I'll let him play on the floor of his room instead. If I hear him playing in his cot soon after I put him down for his nap, I go in and tell him it's time for sleep and leave. If he still doesn't fall asleep within 30 minutes for his afternoon nap, I get him out and try again in half an hour. THe downside to this is that he wants to get out of his cot as soon as he wakes in the morning, but I think it's worth it for the fact that he knows his cot is for sleeping. Iknow others will disagree, but it works for me!

At night if he wakes up and wants to play, I tell him it's time for sleep and lie down next to the cot and pretend to sleep myself. I wait till he's fallen asleep and then I leave.

I try to keep nap and bedtimes around the same time, give or take 30 minutes or so. Though sometimes I have to go with the flow if he woke early or slept in. Toby sleeps for around 10-11 hours at night, and about 2 hours during the day (a bit more or less some days) though his nap seems to be getting shorter since he turned 2. So that's around 12 hours a day. He sleeps well now unless he's sick.

[Carmela's Mom]

Carmela is going through spurts of two weeks sleeping great and two weeks of not.  I think it may be associted to her teeth.  So while I do understand what your saying, and do agree, I think if she was having a problem associating her crib with bedtime, then she wouldn't get better for two weeks...know what I mean?

[Lan]

Carmela is going through spurts of two weeks sleeping great and two weeks of not.  I think it may be associted to her teeth.  So while I do understand what your saying, and do agree, I think if she was having a problem associating her crib with bedtime, then she wouldn't get better for two weeks...know what I mean?

IT could be that she gets really tired and sleeps well for a couple of weeks...then after she's caught up with slepep the waking starts again.... It's always hard with toddlers because there are so many things that bother them, teeth, colds, developmental phases - you name it! I had to go through phases where I had to get up in the middle of the night and sleep next to my son's cot. Now that's he's 2 though, he's pretty muc hover separatino anxiety except in new situations, seems to have built a bit of resistance to colds, so he's sleeping much better.

Also, if your duaghter goes through phases of taking a long time to get to sleep d oyou think she might ned some help processing her day? Like in the post at the top of the forum about the 23 month old.

[Carmela's Mom]

After the last sleep problems we went to, I did read that sticky and I started processing her day with her.  She seems to enjoy going over everything we did, etc.  I try to cuddle her a little bit longer than I used to as well as someone else suggested.  Yesterday was no nap and today was almost 2 hours.  Yesterday she was an ANGEL without the nap so I really didn't mind (usually she's not though).  Last night she went to bed later than normal and slept until 7:15 this mornig...great!  But she was really cranky this morning.  Then she napped and woke up so happy.  My problem is that she will talk up to an hour before bedtime now and I'm not sure if that means I should push it back when she does nap or what.....her day goes like this:

6:30 awake (anywhere from 6-6:30 really, sometimes as late as 7)
7:30 breakfast
9:30 snack
11:45 lunch
12:30 nap (usually 1.5 to 2 hours or none at all!)
3:00 snack
5:30 dinner
6:00 bath
7:00-7:15 in crib

Do you think that maybe I should try a later bedtime??  Also I think I have to move bathtime because it seems to wild her up afterwards way tooo much!

[Lan]

It might be that she needs, say 12 hours sleep a day and 1 day she gets 11 and the next day 13, so averages 12 but doesn't sleep consistently! Could you chart her sleep over a couple of weeks to see what the average number of hours is? THen you could try and split that amount up between, say, a 1.5 hour nap and the rest at night. I put my son down for a nap around 1- 1.30 pm, then he goes to bed at 7.30-8 pm. He sleeps about 10 hours overnight and about 2 hours in the day.

If you can't live with the erratic sleep then you might have to try to train her to sleep on a schedule. Put her down for a nap at 1pm, bed at 7.30pm. Even if she is tired you could try to keep her up till 12.30 at least - at her age she should be able to do it. You could see what happens if you restrict her nap to 1.5 hours. Or you let her nap longer and put her to bed a bit later. i hope the longer wind down helps - you might need to do that at naps too (just a bit shorter than at night.)

Good luck with it all, it must be very frustrating for you.

[Carmela's Mom]

Right now I have nap time at 12:30 and bedtime at 7:15 but for naps she either falls asleep within 10 minutes OR is up for 1.5 if she naps at all!  It's a pain in the butt!!!!!  But I want to stick to 12:30 because when I tried moving her to 1:00, she wouldn't fall asleep until 2:30-3 and that was wayy too late!

For bedtime, I am thinking of moving it to 7:30.  We had it at 7, moved it to 7:30 and just lately she's talking a bit before bed so I'm thinking 7:30 may help her a bit. 

Thanks so much for all your help!  It sure is a puzzle most days trying to piece it all together, but I think your right and a sleep journal may help me.  I do those often and then stop so I'll pick up where I left off.  Thanks

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

Not sure how old your daughter is. My daughter is 20 months. She can do a chatting thing sometimes. Does she have toys in the crib or bedroom. I can't have anything in sight. I have to make the bedroom really boring. If she is chatting for more than 10 mintues I go in and lie her down and say with a strong tone "it's bed time now" night night. Hope you find a solution.