4 month old sleep pattern wrecked... please help!

[Tired Mum]

Hi

I posted a couple of weeks ago when my then 15 week old son started waking in the night, having slept through for about 2 - 3 weeks prior.  It started then with a random waking pattern (some nights he'd wake at 2.30am, other nights 4am etc.) but got worse about 10 days ago.  We thought he was teething at that point as he had red cheeks, drooling, chewing hands etc. but, having spoken to the HV and seen a doctor, then realised it was something viral.  Me and my husband then came down with the same bug, which was a pretty bad cold/flu, and we're just about over it now.  DS is much better although still coughing slightly...but the sleep is still really badly broken.

A typical day is like this: we're on 4 hour EASY (he has been on EASY since week 3) and he is bottle fed, and hasn't cried with hunger for weeks.  We try to aim for 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm feed - bath - bed plus an 11pm DF, although this has slipped by up to 1.5 hours recently (i.e. sometimes the morning doesn't start until 8am - 8.20am) because of night wakings.  During the last week or so, he wakes at around 2.30am and is intermittently awake then all night - i.e. up every 30 - 40 mins (like his daytime nap cycle, which we still can't shift) until around 6am when, if he gets back to sleep, he'll sleep till we wake him. 

For the last 2 nights I've fed him at 4am and he's taken a pretty good feed (c. 180 - 200 ml/6 - 7 oz) as I think he may have been hungry - but he's still been difficult to settle after that. 

He's having an average of 200ml (7oz) every 4 hours, although sometimes he'll have less (c.180ml) and sometimes he'll drain the bottle (260ml/9oz).  He was born 7lb 1oz and yesterday was weighed at 13lb 10oz.  I asked the health visitor if he might be ready to wean and they suggested we wait until 20 weeks min if possible.  So...

(a) should we try the hungrier baby formula milk?  (he's currently on SMA Gold) - and, if so, any suggestions as to the best time of day to try him?  I think he may be prone to constipation already and I don't want to make that worse...
(b) will weaning help? I don't want to do it too early (see constipation, above!)...
(c) I don't think wake to sleep can really work for us as it's so random - last night he started waking only 1 hour after we put him down for DF
(d) we've tried making the DF earlier, around 10.30pm, and it didn't seem to help at all - it just meant we had even less time in the evening to eat dinner, sterilise, etc..., so we still do it at around 11pm
(e) moving out of the room?  we'd like to keep him in with us until 6 months, as per FSID UK recommendations, but I wonder whether we might be going in too soon for some of the cries
(f) removing dummy - we use this as the first resort when we wakes and during particularly restless times, I'm sure he's waking 5 -10 minutes after he realises it's fallen out.  Having said that, when he's on his game a bit better, the dummy is there as it should be - just to help him off for the first couple of minutes, then he doesn't need it.

Sorry for such a long post - any help really welcome.  I couldn't find how to link to my original post but had some helpful advice from Jo then.

Fiona

[Beam79]

Hi, am havin similar issues so can#t really advise you...but re the constipation we were on SMA but have now swapped to Aptamil and the poo problems disappeared overnight! Amazing.
Just a wee tip. Hopefully someone more expert will be able o help further...hang in there!

[Tired Mum]

Hi

Cheers for yours.  It's nice to know you're not alone! 

Getting pretty desperate now as we're struggling at night time and during the day.  I'm now starting to wonder if we manage to crack the daytime naps better then the night will improve?  At the moment, he's only taking 2 x 30 min naps during any one (2 - 2.5 hour) session during the day, with a lot of fussing in between.  Trying wake to sleep but have only managed it successfully twice in a few attempts, and most of the time I'm too tired not to nap alongside him for at least the morning naps, so don't wake up earlier to try to get him back to sleep, if you know what I mean.

You know it's a bad day when you're still in your pyjamas and haven't had a shower by the third feed of the day... ho hum, eh?

I'll have a look at Aptamil - thanks for the tip - he tends to have a run of poos (pardon the pun) then go a few days without and we're in a blank spot at the moment.  Bit like waiting for Godot but probably a bit less intellectually stimulating. 

Good luck over there - I hope this can't last forever but at nearly three weeks with only two nights respite, I'm worried that he's forgotten how to sleep through.  I hope yours gets easier soon...!

Fiona

[momofella-grace]

Hi there, my 16 week old girl presented with much the same problems as your son. She was sleeping a full 12 hours but at 14 weeks started waking again several times during the night. I know you say your little one has a virus but could he be teething, Ella also has very red cheeks and is drooling, chewing her hand. i took her to the docs because she had a rattling noise in her throat and a cough and he said its all due to teething (choking on saliva). There have been a lot a posts from mums of 14 week olds whose patterns have changed it must be a phase. The good news is that Ella is now sleeping quite well again and only waking once in the night so hang on in there. Lisa

p.s she does sleep better at night if the daytime naps are longer.

[Tired Mum]

Hi Lisa

Thanks for your message - I've been wondering if he's been teething as his cheeks are also red, chewing on hands etc. although I can't feel anything much in his mouth yet.  I'm sure that even if it's not the real thing he's certainly preparing to start munching!

Out of interest, how long did it take Ella to get back on track?  We're at 3 weeks now and counting, and hoping it won't take too much longer, although with the combination of the cold, possible teething and learning how to roll all coming at the same time, we're not too optimistic!

Cheers and all the best

Fiona

[momofella-grace]

Hi Fiona, it really depends if ella has had some good naps during the day if not she is back to waking every few hours. I have changed her nappy type which has made a big difference as she doesnt wake up wet during the early hours. I also find that if i rub some calgel on her gums after the dream feed his seems to help (she never stays asleep for this feed).

[Tired Mum]

Hi Lisa

Thanks for yours.  I just bought some Bonjela today for the gums, just in case it is teething, and I also tried a frozen washcloth/flannel today, although he didn't seem terribly interested, so I wonder whether it is this after all.  Whatever it is, it's keeping him up most of the night and he is actively chewing his dummy through the night and waking up as soon as he's accidentally spat it out, which is not like him at all.  I'll just keep on going...

Cheers

Fiona

[Tired Mum]

Hi Stacy

Cheers for yours - wow, sleeping through at 3 weeks!!  You could probably sell your genes or your top tips for a tidy profit!!!   

We're trying where possible to stick to the daytime start of around 7am, even though we're all knackered - also, as we've stopped feeding him in the night, he pretty much needs to eat then anyway.  We have allowed this to slip by up to 1.5 hours if we're desperate and he's only just got back to sleep, which I know isn't ideal...

Good luck getting your son back on track - we're just crossing our fingers every night and trying something new each day or so to see if that helps. 

Fiona

[Tired Mum]

Hi Stacy

Cheers for yours - yes, this paci dropping thing is new and doesn't seem to affect him during the day or when he is getting good sleep, which sadly he hasn't been getting at night recently.  If we're to try weaning him from it, any tips on how to do it?

Has your night waking improved?

Fiona