Ready to give up, no end in sight.

[Mckenna&Barrett's Mom]

My dd is 9 months old tomorrow and we started EASY almost a month ago because she still wasn't sleeping through the night.  Just before we started EASY she had started taking 2 hour naps.  Prior to this naps were 20-45 mins, maybe a 60 min here and there.  My problem is that when we started EASY it was taking 20 mins or so to get her to sleep for a nap.  She has had some early waking, but for the most part seems to go 1-1.5 hours each nap.  If she has short naps, she has a third "catnap" around 5:30 for 30 mins or so (I wake her up).  This week it has been taking an hour to get her down, and this afternoon I spent an hour and forty-five minutes and she NEVER went to sleep.  I bf at the regular time, and she was starting to fall asleep.  I waited a few mins and tried to put her down, but she was rolled over and stood up every time I put her back down.  So I gave up.  Her mood seems fine, mine however is another story.

The ideal EASY we have yet to acheive is:
E-7:30am, bf and solids
A-
S-10:00am

E-11:30am, bf and solids
A-
S-2:00pm

E-3:30pm, bf
A-

E-5:30pm, bf and solids
A-

E-7:30pm, bf
A-pj's, diaper change, etc.
S-8:00pm

We start our nap wind-down 10-15 mins beforehand and close the blinds, turn on the waves (as white noise), sit upright in chair and read 2 books (usually twice each), sing lullabye once or twice.  Then I sit on a stool or in the chair and read until she stands up, repeat, repeat, repeat.

The main reason I am ready to give up is that she is STILL not sleeping through!  So basically I am wondering why I am making my life MORE miserable and I am still not seeing results.  What on earth am I doing wrong?

[Elizabeth]

First off, hang in there!!  You really are doing whats best for your lo even though it seems like you're getting no where.  You're teaching her to fall asleep on her own (even though you're hitting a rough patch  ) and this is a wonderful gift you're giving her.  It does take time for your lo to get used to the EASY routine and just try to stay consistent and focus on your goals.  Just wondering... did you say that you stay in her room when you're trying to get her to sleep?  If you're trying PU/PD you may try leaving the room, because being there may send a mixed message.  Not sure, just racking my brain for something that may work.  I also found it really important for my lo to watch for her sleep cues (yawning, rubbing eyes, etc...) I found if I didn't catch it in time, we had trouble getting her to sleep.  Your lo will catch on once she realizes the routine, and associates it with sleep.  You're doing a great job, please don't give up, there is an end in sight

[Mckenna&Barrett's Mom]

If you're trying PU/PD you may try leaving the room, because being there may send a mixed message.

We haven't tried leaving the room before she's asleep, but if we leave and she's not really asleep, she'll cry and start all over again.    We'll work on weaning her off of us being in there eventually.  She's been sick and teething, and we are moving on Saturday, so we will wait until she's used to her new room to do that.  She never went to sleep in her crib before we started EASY, and she used to sleep in our bed for half the night when she was younger.  We do leave once she closes her eyes and starts breathing more deeply, which usually means she's good to go.  She doesn't usually settle until immediately before she falls asleep.  She's spirited, and she'll race around the crib, and stand up, I pd and repeat, etc.  Then suddenly she's out.  It almost seemed like a game today, she was rolling over to stand as soon as I sat back down, or she would let go of the crib and plunk herself lying down when I would walk over to put her down- this is new. 

I noticed today that's she's crying when I shut the door to her room.  I just closed it so I could get a diaper on without her escaping into the hall, but she thought I was going to put her to bed I guess.  She whimpered when I closed the door before her nap today too.

[Elizabeth]

Awww, thats hard when they feel scared, you hate to leave them in there by themselves.  You're right it would probably be best to wait until after you move to start a new habit.  Right now she has a negative association with her crib, probably due to what you said about her sleeping in your bed.  We just found that our lo didn't understand sleep time if we stayed in the room - thought it was still playtime, and relied on us to get her back to sleep.  So everytime she cried we went right in to make her feel safe and secure.  Once she trusted that we would respond to her she was comfortable enough to go to sleep on her own.  But all this takes time and she'll figure it out soon I'm sure.  Hang in there, as Tracey says 'start as you mean to go on'.
All the best,

[Taylor's Mommy]

HI there,

I see Elizabeth is giving you some great advice and encouragement.    Just wanted to reiterate a couple of things she said.  Right now she is still depending on you to get to sleep by you being in the room.  I think you are absolutely correct in waiting till after you have moved to start to leave the room because she will have a big change to contend with.  But until she can fall asleep on her own without you in the room, she has not really learned to fall asleep independently KWIM?  Don't mean to sound harsh, just want to put that out there so you understand why she may not be sleepign through yet.

ALso, at 9 months she should be able to do 3-3.5 hours of A time in the afternoon.  So today when you were putting her down at 2 she may not have been tired yet so was fighting you.  Did she show tired cues?

Also keep in mind that regressions after 1-2 weeks are normal, and if you remain consistent they should work themselves out after a few days.  Also, 9-10 months can also be a tough road with naps anyhow, especially the afternoon one!  So she may just be going through the normal rough patch that many lo's go through at this stage.

Keep up the good work!  You are doing great and should feel proud that you have come this far.   

[Mckenna&Barrett's Mom]

I admit I wasn't looking for signs so much as I was worried about the routine since we slept in an extra 40 mins in the morning, and her am nap was later.  Another mod reccommended keeping the remainder of the day "normal".

How do I extend the awake time without going into the next feed?  If she's on a 4-hour EASY, then how does that work?

Thanks for your suggestions, I thought I was following the book on how to implement EASY, but I guess I missed something.

[Mckenna&Barrett's Mom]

We have moved in now, and she seems to be pretty unaffected for the most part.  So HOW do I wean her off having me in the room?  I have no idea where to start.

[Elizabeth]

Congratulations on your move, hope all things went well. 
As for leaving the room, it may help to make that part of your routine.  Keep in mind that with her all ready being 9 months this will be a real transition for her.  Try your best to be consistent, especially knowing that at the beginning it will be difficult. 
What we did and it did take a while, was to just keep everything the same.  We would turn off the lights, close the door, walk to the crib, say 'where's your blanket?" and he gets all excited for his blanket    Then we hold him on our shoulders for a minute or two and give him some hugs and then say the same thing everytime - "Its time for sleep, sleep time".  And then put him in the crib and do up his sleep sack.  I then give him a kiss on his forehead and say I love you and then walk out the door and close it.  I give him a second to try and settle and then if he is having trouble, I go back back in and repeat the process.  Keep in mind that when we first did pu/pd it took at least an hour and took a few days before this decreased.  Best advice I have is to stay consistent and try and be patient as it does take awile to reverse a habit.  Please let me know if you have any other questions.