~ 9.5 month old with constant night wakings ~

[VGirl]

I'm hoping someone can give me some hints/tricks on how to get my little girl to sleep through (or at least reduce her night wakings) the night.

From 3-6 months she slept like an angel at night - anywhere from 8-11 hours at night. Then she hit 6 months old and it all went out the window. Her night wakings have gone from 1, 2, 3 ... to 11 times (last night) a night. I feel like I've tried everything... other than controlled crying which I'm not particularly keen on trying.

I've tried patting, sshhing, rocking, and she doesn't respond to any of this. Sometimes she'll resettle if I hold her upright, rock her, rub her back and hum to her, but moreoften than not the ONLY way to resettle her is to offer the breast. I'm hoping to wean her in the next 3 months, but I don't see this being possible at the moment.

Another thing that has increased her night wakings is the fact that she is rolling, sitting up or getting on her hands and knees in her cot. I've been told Safe-T-Sleeps are a godsend, but have also been told they are a SIDS risk, so I'm not sure.

She's also going through major separation anxiety - I can't leave the room or be out of sight from her or she cries instantly.

Has anyone been in this situation before, and if so, are you able to pass on some tips - I feel like I've tried everything! 

Thanks ladies.

How old is your child?
9.5 months old

What’s his/her daily routine?
She wakes in the morning around 6:00 am - 6:30 am.  She has a feed (breastfed) and goes back to bed until around 8:00 am.  She is then awake until around 10:30 am/11:00 am where she goes down for a nap and sleeps for around 1-1.5 hours.  She wakes around 12:30 pm and goes down for another sleep around 2:30 pm for another 1-1.5 hours.  She moreoften than not is then awake until her bath time at 6:30 pm/7:00 pm.

How long are naps?
Approximately 1-1.5 hours twice a day.

What's bedtime routine? Time?
Night time - bath (6:30 pm/7:00 pm), feed (breastfeed), bed.

Do you bottle or breastfed??
Breastfeed

How much? or how long?
Until she pulls off and tries to sit up - generally after about 10 mins of feeding.

If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)
One side for all her day feeds, both sides before bed.

How many wakes per night?
It used to be 1-3, but is now 5-11.

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
Not sure what LO stands for ...
She is very difficult to resettle - she doesn't respond to patting, ssshhing etc.  She occasionally responds to me rocking her (upright) rubbing her back and humming to her, but moreoften than not only responds to the breast.

When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
Crying.  Not sure what a mantra cry is.

What have you tried to settle??
Patting, sshhing, rocking, water, husband going in, breast.

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
She teeths for a few days at a time roughly once a month.

Do they have a prop? If so what is it?
Not sure what a prop is ...

Do they have a lovie?
Is a lovie like a blankie/toy?  If so, she has a "blankie".

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi there and welcome to BW! You certainly have a lot going on with your LO! I will do my best to try and give you some ideas/help.... one thing that may be a big issue right now is that most LOs have a big growth spurt at 9 mo (or so) so I wonder if maybe you have that in the mix as well.

I'm hoping someone can give me some hints/tricks on how to get my little girl to sleep through (or at least reduce her night wakings) the night.

From 3-6 months she slept like an angel at night - anywhere from 8-11 hours at night. Then she hit 6 months old and it all went out the window. Her night wakings have gone from 1, 2, 3 ... to 11 times (last night) a night. I feel like I've tried everything... other than controlled crying which I'm not particularly keen on trying.

I've tried patting, sshhing, rocking, and she doesn't respond to any of this. Sometimes she'll resettle if I hold her upright, rock her, rub her back and hum to her, but moreoften than not the ONLY way to resettle her is to offer the breast. I'm hoping to wean her in the next 3 months, but I don't see this being possible at the moment.

Like the 9 mo., LOs (little ones) get a huge growth spurt at 6 mo. Things probably went haywire with that and never got back on track. It sounds to me like you have gotten her used to the prop (something they do not control themselves that becomes like an addiction; they can't sleep without it thus preventing independent sleep) of you holding and rocking her. It's definitely time to teach her independent sleep. It may not be a fun or easy process but it will be SOOOO worth it for both of you in the end. I definitely suggest that you check out the props forum - there's a lot of good posts in there about how to wean various things as well as success stories. I'm not exactly an expert but my recommendation would be that you stand firm and NOT rock, hum or rub or anything when she wakes, but use PU/PD for sleep training.

Another thing that has increased her night wakings is the fact that she is rolling, sitting up or getting on her hands and knees in her cot. I've been told Safe-T-Sleeps are a godsend, but have also been told they are a SIDS risk, so I'm not sure.

She's also going through major separation anxiety - I can't leave the room or be out of sight from her or she cries instantly.

Has anyone been in this situation before, and if so, are you able to pass on some tips - I feel like I've tried everything! 

Those rolling and sitting milestones are major, and definitely affect a LOs sleep. Not fun for us! The best way to deal with those developmental sleep issues is to make sure that the LO has tons of time to practice the skill during the day. If they want to literally do nothing else, let them! That way they'll get the urge out of their system as much as possible and master the skill faster. Separation anxiety is a really tough thing - I would suggest playing a lot of peekaboo or something like that to teach object permanence, so she will understand that just because she can't see you doesn't mean that you're not there. Aside from that, just make sure that she knows you love her, you're there and will meet her needs, and give her lots of reassurance. I don't know what a Safe-T-Sleep is though so I have nothing to add there...

How old is your child?
9.5 months old

What’s his/her daily routine?
She wakes in the morning around 6:00 am - 6:30 am.  She has a feed (breastfed) and goes back to bed until around 8:00 am.  She is then awake until around 10:30 am/11:00 am where she goes down for a nap and sleeps for around 1-1.5 hours.  She wakes around 12:30 pm and goes down for another sleep around 2:30 pm for another 1-1.5 hours.  She moreoften than not is then awake until her bath time at 6:30 pm/7:00 pm.

How long are naps?
Approximately 1-1.5 hours twice a day.

What's bedtime routine? Time?
Night time - bath (6:30 pm/7:00 pm), feed (breastfeed), bed.

Do you bottle or breastfed??
Breastfeed

How much? or how long?
Until she pulls off and tries to sit up - generally after about 10 mins of feeding.

If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)
One side for all her day feeds, both sides before bed.

How many wakes per night?
It used to be 1-3, but is now 5-11.

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
Not sure what LO stands for ...
She is very difficult to resettle - she doesn't respond to patting, ssshhing etc.  She occasionally responds to me rocking her (upright) rubbing her back and humming to her, but moreoften than not only responds to the breast.

When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
Crying.  Not sure what a mantra cry is.

What have you tried to settle??
Patting, sshhing, rocking, water, husband going in, breast.

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
She teeths for a few days at a time roughly once a month.

Do they have a prop? If so what is it?
Not sure what a prop is ...

Do they have a lovie?
Is a lovie like a blankie/toy?  If so, she has a "blankie".

Some suggestions about your routine...

I think that you need to extend those naps a bit. I would try and get at least 1.25 but perferably 1.5 hours out of each one. I suspect that maybe she's overtired by bedtime, especially with that long awake time at the end of the day. You also might want to add a bit to the bedtime routine to make sure that she knows it's bedtime and the wind down, like read a story or sing a quiet song. It's also very important that you stop settling her with the breast - that will become as prop as well if it isn't already.

A mantra cry is different than a regular cry - it's something they do to resettle themselves and get back to sleep. It differs from the regular cry in that it's very rhythmic on a very discernable beat. Sometimes it's not a cry but just a noise. If that's what your LO is doing, then absolutely leave her be - she's putting herself back to sleep and if you interfere with that you will also interfere with her ability to self-sooth and sleep independently.

[Michaela's Mom]

VGirl - i can so relate to your post - could have written it myself! So (((((((((hugs))))))))), i know EXACTYLY what you're going through. Only difference is that my little one (LO) is a bit easier to get back to sleep once she's awake - she does the whole mantra cry, kneading the blanky for ages thing but luckily, most of the time, pat/shush works for me (i have to be actually holding her though, otherwise she screams).

This morning, dd woke up at 2.45am and then proceeded to crawl around the bed and practice her "talking" until 5am!!!! Yes, she sleeps in the bed with me - it's the ONLY way i get any sleep! 

Jessica, thank you for your suggestions - there are a couple of things there that i'm going to try.

Sharon

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

If I am reading your routine correctly, I think your babe is getting too muc daytime sleep. I think your lo is counting her early morning feed/sleep as a nap which would make her day sleep cut into night sleep. At this age, lo should get about 14 hrs of TOTAL sleep. Now this around about number, so some babies do deviate. For example, Gage was getting 2 naps a day, 1 at 45min and the other 1.5 hrs on most days. Here was/is our routine. Take a look and if you want I can help tweak your routine.

6:30 wake
7:00 formula
8:00 solids
9:00 nap

9:45is wake
11:00 formula
12:00 solids
1:15ish nap

3:00 wake
5:00 dinner
7:00 bedtime routine/bottle

Let me know what you think. I will be glad to help.
Alice