Author Topic: 19 month old night waking and not napping  (Read 4414 times)

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Offline Mel55

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19 month old night waking and not napping
« on: February 19, 2006, 22:13:52 pm »
My 19 year old dd is very active, is go-go-go during the day.  She has stopped napping entirely.  When I do put her down (usually around noonish) she will play in her crib, and talk, and do whatever, basically until I go get her.  I have left her in there for up to 90 minutes, and she will not go to sleep--regardless of how tired she is.  She is exhausted by about 4:30, we eat supper and then she has a little playtime and then bath and to bed around 6:30 on average.  She'll instantly go to sleep and normally would sleep 13 hours.

The past three nights she has been waking up at ~3am and will chat and play and kick the wall.  She will cry for about 30 seconds and then go back to talking.  Usually after about an hour, she'll go back to sleep. 

After the past three nights, she is now a zombie.  It took her almost 2 hours to go to sleep for a nap that I insisted on, and she slept maybe 25 minutes. 

I am at my wit's end with her--I just don't know how to deal with this as she's been such an excellent sleeper since she was born.  She's had signs of teething for about four months, her first set of molars have been in since she was a year old (she was an early teether) so I'm assuming it's her 2nd set of molars that could be causing the problem, however there is no sign of redness of her gums or any teeth poking through when I get the chance to look in her mouth.

I imagine she is over-tired and probably over-stimulated, however I can't seem to get her back on track.  I've tried calming things down completely for about 1/2 an hour before her naptime and that doesn't work.  She just fights it.

Do I just have to deal with the fact that she is done napping now?  And what's up with the night waking?  Any help would be appreciated!   ARGGH!
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Offline elfin

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2006, 17:57:14 pm »
She seems pretty young to stop napping, however I have heard of it happening.  She is probably just going through a phase of fighting it.  So I would continue to stick to your routine and continue to put her down for a nap.  The nightwakings are probably because like you said, she is overtired.

Sorry, not much help!
Carrie

Myles 12/06/03

elfin@thebabywhisperer.com

Offline imsmum

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2006, 18:14:22 pm »
There used to be a sticky on this board about I believe a 23 month old not napping.  His or her mommy waited for tired signs which she saw around I believe 2:30 (after the lo had been up since 5 after going down around 8)  She put lo down then and s/he slept for 2 hours.  She then put him/her down around 8:30 and s/he slept through to 7.  I think there was some further changes of moving both the bed and naptimes earlier once the nap got re-established but it may be something you would consider trying.

   

Offline Mel55

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2006, 21:02:06 pm »
The only problem is that when I put her down for bedtime later--say past 8pm, she screams in her crib for 1/2 an hour before falling to sleep, whereas if I put her down at 6-6:30 she doesn't make a peep and goes right to sleep.  And the other thing is that she's such a zombie by about 5ish that it's a struggle sometimes to even keep her up until 6:30.  I just don't see it possible to keep her up any later.

I'm hoping it's just a phase and that she'll grow out of it...cross your fingers for me.  BTW I'll look for that other post about the 23 month old... 
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Offline Samuel's Mom

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2006, 02:03:29 am »
Hi there,
My son went through a phase a few months ago at daycare where he decided he wasn't going to nap anymore (there were so many toys to play with I think he just wanted to play).  The first time he got up after 20 min, my babysitter let him get up.....and then for a month and a half he would sleep short naps, if he would nap at all.  He has a pretty good memory so once he got away with it once, he thought he could all the time.  I was thinking that maybe he was already dropping his nap, much to my dismay, but it turns out I think it was a battle of wills and he did really need the sleep.  The only thing the baby sitter did was stay consistent.  She still put him down around the same time of the day, sometimes a little later to make sure he was tired.  And he stayed in the crib for the time of his nap...1 1/2 hrs.  I know he did cry during some time in the crib, but there were also days he played away for the whole time.  I am happy to say it was a phase and now a few months later he is back to 1 1/2 or 2 hr naps.   At the time of no naps, we did have more night wakings, early morning wakings and it was a struggle to keep him up until his bed time. 

Teeth is also a huge factor too!! my son has started chewing his fingers and blanket again, a sign of teething.  All that he has left to come are his second molars....I thought it was too early for them.  WHo knows.

Good luck and I would agree with earlier posts to stay consistent and hopefully the phase will pass.
Nicole
Nicole
Mom to Samuel born July 27, 2004
 and to Julianna born Dec 26, 2006



Offline Mel55

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2006, 05:15:47 am »
Thank you Nicole  :)

I will try the consistency thing.  She is a very strong-willed girl so that makes complete sense about the "battle of wills".  I have usually kept her in bed for around an hour (an hour and a half if I'm desperate for a break) and she's usually content, sometimes cries.  Her newest thing is to take all of her clothes off (including her diaper) while having her "nap".  It's pretty frustrating, I do alot of laundry!

All she has left are her second (two year) molars too, she has rosy cheeks and has been drooling and the red bottom, etc.  But these symptoms have been around for months now so they must be floating.  I'll be glad once the second set are in!

I'm glad your son got back into his routine after a few months.  I'll keep up with the routine and cross my fingers that it will get back to normal soon...  Thanks again.
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Offline imsmum

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2006, 15:15:24 pm »
Sorry my post wasn't about putting her bedtime later but trying for a later naptime.  I imagine one of the reasons your little one needs the very early bedtime is because of no nap.  if she is able to nap later this may result in initially a later bedtime but then you can move both the nap and bedtime back a bit.  I wish that sticky hadn't been removed---it was a good one!

Offline Mel55

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2006, 16:39:03 pm »
I know I have had some success putting her down at about 2:30.  She'll talk in her crib until about 3:30 and then I'll only let her sleep for an hour so her bedtime isn't disrupted too badly.  Sorry I misinterpreted your post and thanks for clarifying.  I'll give it a go, my thoughts were to keep putting her down for a nap every day and maybe I"ll aim for 2:30 as a naptime.

Thanks again!
DD 13 Jul 04
DS 24 Oct 05
DS 14 Mar 08

Lan

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2006, 05:49:52 am »
Is she's sleeping 13 hours at night  I would also try waking her in the morning an hour earlier so that she gets 12 hours sleep at night, then she might be more tired when naptime comes.

Offline Carmela's Mom

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2006, 18:25:27 pm »
I just wanted to let you know...we are going through the same exact thing to a T....I obviously have no advice.  I've tried EVERYTHING.  Once in awhile, I'll go and just put my hand on her back to get her to nap and that works quickly (10 minutes)....which is GREAT but then she's up at 5 a.m.  If I let her not nap, she goes to bed at 7 and usually will sleep until 7.  If she falls asleep on her own, she normally doesn't wake as early. 

It seriously is driving me nuts.  Last night she had 8 HOURS sleep...I KNOW she's tired.  She's been cranky all day and was rubbing her eyes, yawning, playing with her hair and pulling her eyelids all things she does when she's tired..yet she's been in the crib now 40 mins and no sleep in sight...

if you find something that works, please let me know!!!!!!!!!!!  I am at wits end here.



Offline Carmela's Mom

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2006, 18:27:53 pm »
I wanted to add...I tried the later nap time.  We did 1:30.  It worked for the three days I tried it but during that time I also put her to bed later at night thinking she would want it.  I'm not sure if it was the later nap time or the later bedtime, but she was waking A LOT at night and more importantly waking at 5 a.m. which just doesn't work for me.  I'm considering going back to 1:30 and keeping the 7 p.m. bedtime but I am so afraid that we'll get early wakings!



Offline Mel55

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2006, 19:04:39 pm »
We've been getting the 1:30ish naptime too--she'll sleep for 45 min to maybe an hour if I'm lucky--but it's better then nothing!  I have been keeping her bedtime the same, around 6:30 and she hasn't woken up at night in the past 3 nights.

My suggestion is do the 1:30 nap and keep the same bedtime.  By pushing the bedtime back also I think it makes them overtired, and when they're overtired they wake up at night and early, early in the morning. 

My daughter's been waking up at around 6:45 or 7am, which I can handle. 

The email about consistency with naptimes is  what I"m trying.  I"m going to keep putting her down at the same time every day and leaving her in there until she naps.  The past 3 days she's been in her crib for an hour chatting away.  I will go in after an hour and lay her back down, tuck her in, put her music thing on and walk out.  She usually cries a bit as she thinks I was going to come in and take her out, but within 5 minutes she's asleep.  So that's my trick, we'll see how long it lasts though.

Today we're having company and I know she won't nap with people in the house, too distracting.  So hopefully we can get back on track tomorrow but I find weekends are worse because Daddy's home and she doesn't want to miss a thing......maybe next week.  We'll see how it goes.

Good luck.  Try the earlier bedtime and stick with the naptime.  Let me know how it goes!  It's great to know someone else feels my pain.....
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Offline MomofLuka

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2006, 17:50:09 pm »
My dd has tried this a couple of times.  I believe it was at 13 months and again at 15 months, and then at 18 months.  It's not easy to deal with, but if you deal with it right away when it happens, they get back on track. 
If my dd did it during the night, I would keep putting her back and stand over the crib if I had to to make sure she laid down and went to sleep.  I wouldn't give up until she went to sleep, because if I did, I'm looking at losing a lot more sleep in the future if she develops that habit!  Also I was careful not to talk to her and to avoid eye contact and just be like a robot putting her down.  Of course I did check her diaper!  A couple of times she woke up with poopy pants and that's why she couldn't sleep.

I should also mention that while sometimes there is no apparent reason, sometimes the odd waking is because of a change in the household.  In my case, the first two times it was nothing I could discern, but in the last case, there were a lot of house visitors who were causing disturbances in her sleep.
Teething can definitely cause unusual sleep patterns, but if you encourage her to get back on track, she should go back to the usual schedule within a week or so.  In other words, don't let it be an excuse to lose good habits!   :)

During the day, the main problem we have been having is she climbs out of the crib now.  But even this can be overcome with the force of good habits.  I make sure she sleeps by standing over the crib if she repeatedly climbs out.  I don't reward it.  I make sure she knows I'm going to enforce nap time and nighttime sleep.  She stopped trying to pull this after a few days, but those few days were quite chaotic.  Now she knows I mean business and she goes to sleep just fine.  It also helps to do a lot of good energetic activities when she is awake, too, such as playing outside or playing with other kids. 

It's interesting that we've also been having a little testing behavior regarding her climbing on tables lately.  I've been using a one minute time-out for that.  She has to be in her playpen with no toys and not climb out.  We use a timer also.  I wonder if maybe your 19 month old is doing the same thing and testing the limits a little.  She may be trying to find out if you mean what you say, and how you'll deal with it when she wants to do something different than you want.

It's tough, but I guess this is the age where enforcement begins.  I had two little sisters so I remember this distinctly.  What I never realized before is just how tiring being consistent is.  I now understand why my parents would get angry and yell!  They were tired, poor things!   ;D

Offline NicoleW

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2006, 19:36:22 pm »
Hey Leslie! good to run into you and Luca again:)...i'm curious..meg is 17mos and is totally fighting naps. when she does nap its only 1hr. then she is so tired by 6pm. i was wondring if i should try standing there and lying her down over and over again but wasn't sure if it would be MORE of a distraction to her. i'm afraid to try incase it backfires.
I usually let her cry for a few min's then go back in and lay her down again. but it seems it is taking longer and longer for her to fall alseep. then b/c she doesn't nap well, she is overtired adn wakes early the next day! yuck.



Nicole

Offline Mel55

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2006, 21:10:15 pm »
Thank you for the insight on it being a "testing the boundaries" issue.  I never thought of that and I think you're bang on.

I put her in her crib for her nap today, tucked her in and sat down on the floor beside the crib.  She knew I was there but I wasn't her direct vision.  I kept my head down.  5 min in she started talking, I told her to "sssh".  She stopped.  5 min later she started talking again.  I told her to "sssh" again and she stopped.  5 min later she was sleeping.  I can't believe it.

It's good my DH is home today to care for DS while I took the time to be with DD and try out the new strategy.  I will try again tomorrow with her like this and on Monday when DH is at work, will wait until DS is napping and then try with her.  I'm wondering if it'll be tougher tomorrow or easier....

She's got a very strong personality and I know she's at the age where she's testing me.  It's hard to know how to discipline your child, especially my DD (I suppose every parent says that!).  Thanks again for your tips.
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Offline MomofLuka

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #15 on: February 27, 2006, 09:49:26 am »
Hi again Nicole!  Let me just say that's hard.  It's a real judgement call and sometimes you try lots of things before you find what works.  You know your own child best and whether she's going to run out of steam or get agitated by laying her down. 
Maybe, if it seems like she's pushing the time further each day, try getting the jump on her.  Next time, put her to bed earlier than you would have before.  Then you'll get her napping before the window closes and she's too over-tired to calm down and sleep.
On a bad day, Luka will cry a bit before going to sleep, but it's so obvious that it's tired crying.  She poops out right afterward.  If Meg goes to sleep after crying, I'd say you did the right thing because she needed the rest. 

In Luka's case, if I stand there (usually with my eyes closed because it's less distracting to her) it's only about 15 minutes or less.  Sometimes I flop down on the floor (there are pillows there) to be less distracting and I only get up if it's clear that she's getting up.  These days I have "enforced" nap and bedtime enough that I haven't had to do it at all. 

I do think they're probably getting too old for the pure conditioning method of pick-up put-down.  At this age they have wills of their own, and so discipline enters into it.  Conditioning and good scheduling helps somewhat, but I think also that at this age, testing the boundaries begins.  Meg might not be quite as far into that as Luka is yet, but keep that in mind.  She may start trying to see how far she can go.  That makes it so hard when she's had trouble with napping anyway.  I have had to be firm with Luka in putting her down and not laughing because she will become quite mischievous and try to play. 

Of course part of my problem is that Luka is climbing out of her crib.  Meg isn't doing that yet (is she?)--I've had to order all kinds of weird equipment to try to keep Luka safely in the crib.  If she weren't doing that, I'd probably leave her in the crib until she decided to sleep on her own, because she's happy there.  I wouldn't go in at all unless she cried. 

I don't know how much longer my luck with Luka's naps will last, but in the end, it may work so well simply because she needs the rest and she gets tired.  I know some kids don't do that (I was one of those kids). 

Nice to hear from you again, how are you guys otherwise?

Leslie

Offline MomofLuka

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Re: 19 month old night waking and not napping
« Reply #16 on: February 27, 2006, 10:03:11 am »
Mel55:
Gosh...I've never been bang on before!   ;D Kind of a good feeling! 
I know exactly how you feel about not knowing how to discipline; I'm running into that every day here.  It's tough because my parents were yellers and a lot of people I know believe in hitting and I just don't.  I'm trying to do it a whole new way that sort of goes against my culture.  I'm sure a lot of mothers feel exactly the same way (that is, confused), regarding how they should discipline!  Nobody likes to be the disciplinarian.  It ruins all the fun, but it's SO necessary.

I don't know how strong-willed your dd is, but mine didn't need me in the room after about 3 days of this.  She got used to sleeping again at her usual times and stopped testing me in this area and life went on.  Now she is testing a new area.

Doubtless she will test the naps again, and so I'll have to be creative and come up with more solutions, but that's why we have brains, right?

So glad this worked for you. 

Leslie